A lesson in logic

Logic:
~Waterboarding is torture
~Torture is illegal
~Therefore waterboarding is illegal

Illogic:
~I would think it was torture if I was waterboarded*
~Torture is illegal
~But I refuse to consider whether waterboarding is illegal.

Frightening.

*Mukasey's answer to Sen. Kennedy when asked what he'd think if he was waterboarded.

Random bits of a tired mind

~I've been looking at lots of photos on different 365 blogs. It's very inspiring, and shows me just how far I have to go.

~So my next purchases (at some point in the future) are going to be a 50mm lens and a tripod and a lens hood. Maybe if I get that money GWB wants to give everyone. Gah. Feels like blood money somehow. Anyway...

~One thing I do at work that totally was not part of my job description and is real time suck, but I kind of enjoy it anyway is produce the news letter and other publications (seasonal booklets about what we're doing, materials for newcomers, etc.). I would love to be able to do some of that work at home, but I use Publisher at work and you can't (as far as I can tell) get it for a Mac. So I proposed today that we should get an office laptop so I could work on stuff at home with it (mind, I've proposed an office laptop before for other reasons to no avail) and my boss is actually considering it. Interesting that me working on it at home is the arugment that might prevail.

~I maintain the church website, too. Something else I could do from home, because I can connect to the network remotely.

~I've sworn off complaining about work, so this is an observation, not a complaint. The week before and the week after I take time off are very hectic--there is just no way not be behind on things.

~I had a piece published under my real name elsewhere in teh internet this week. I would link to it, but that would blow my pseudonymity. This being pseudonymous has it pluses and minuses. Right now I'm sticking with it, but I've been thinking about it a bit.

Honestly

~I don't know which annoys the Kid more--when I don't recognize or remember music (my era or his) or when I do (tonight's example: singing along to "Do I go or do I stay" by the Clash).

Snow day at the feeder

1 Cardinal in the snow


2 Underneath the feeder


3 Almost too many


4 Hairy woodpecker

5 Hairy woodpecker

6 Northern yellow-shafted flicker


7 Downy woodpecker

Blizzard

~It's been snowing here since mid-morning, and it's quite windy. At first I thought this was going to be a minor storm with just a little bit of snow, but now weather.com is calling the overnight conditions a blizzard.

~The snow has been heavy and wet and it is plastered to the windows and doors and to the sides of the house because the wind has been blowing so hard.

~In a rare move (for me) of preparedness I went to the grocery store when I got home from church so we're good for food--as long as the power doesn't go out. If it does it will be peanut butter I guess.

~The Kid is hoping like crazy for a snow day.

~This storm is only affecting my little part of the state. Lots of times the rest of the state gets snow and we don't but this time things are reversed.

Politics and hope

~Caroline Kennedy endorsed Barack Obama for president in an op-ed piece in the NYTimes today. I don't normally pay much attention to endorsements, especially during the primaries, but probably for totally illogical reasons, this endorsement speaks to me.

I was not quite 8 years old when John F. Kennedy was elected president--too young to know or care much about politics. What I knew of JFK I got from reading the Look and Life magazines that came in the mail each week. But I still knew somehow that his election was special, that there was a sense of hope and optimism in the air.

I was not quite 11 when he was assassinated three years later. I knew more then, and I felt the sense of despair and loss that engulfed the country. JFK wasn't a perfect man and he wasn't a perfect president. If he had not been killed, or if the media had been as aggressive then as it is now perhaps the country would've become more quickly disillusioned with him. But as it was, I think, that sense of hope, that feeling that we could all together do a new thing persisted until his death, when it was ripped away in a flash of gunfire.

I grew up with the string of assassinations that marked the sixties: JFK, RFK, MLK. I watched as the war in Viet Nam escalated. I was in high school when the Kent State massacre took place, and a young adult during Watergate. I remember Nixon's resignation. I felt a glimmer of hope when Jimmy Carter was elected but it was quickly dashed (although I continue to consider him a great man). I endured Reagan and Bush, had unrealized hopes for Clinton, and have suffered through the horrors of the current administration. I watched as the social programs that made the sixties seem progressive were bit by by dismantled and the government more and more pushed the notion of everyone for him or herself, and the poor (and even the middle class) be damned.

I'm an optimistic person by nature, but it's been harder and harder to be optimistic about the route this country seems to be taking. This hit me during the long weeks of campaigning as more and more Obama was proclaimed and proclaimed himself to be the voice of hope. I've been slow to catch the enthusiasm, and I've worried that perhaps I've become a cynic after all. I think I'm afraid to hope--afraid to hope that someone good could be elected, afraid to hope that real change could take place--because I don't want to be disappointed, disillusioned once again.

But when Caroline Kennedy wrote,

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that someone has a special ability to get us to believe in ourselves, to tie that belief to our highest ideals and imagine that together we can do great things. In those rare moments, when such a person comes along, we need to put aside our plans and reach for what we know is possible.

We have that kind of opportunity with Senator Obama. ...I have never had a president who inspired me the way people tell me that my father inspired them. But for the first time, I believe I have found the man who could be that president — not just for me, but for a new generation of Americans.

it made me want to hope again, to believe that things can change, that we can make a difference. You know, I don't care if the US is the greatest country on earth, or the most powerful. I do care if people have access to health care and education and jobs. And I care if my children and their children have something to hold onto, a vision of a future world that is better than the one we inhabit now.

So I'm jumping on the Obama bandwagon, and hoping for the best.

Train shots 2--leaving the city

~I'm not sure where exactly the train comes out when it leaves Penn Station, but it circles around the north end of the city, allowing a nice view of the skyline.

Friday Five~~Winter

1. What is the thermometer reading at your house this morning?

~I wasn't home this morning, but it was 22 where I was. I'm home now (11:20 pm) and it's currently 18 (degrees F in both cases).

2. Snow—love it or hate it?

~I love snow. Love it. The one exception is having to drive in a bad storm when the roads are not plowed.

3. What is winter like where you are?

~It's generally pretty cold, but we don't get as much snow as other nearby areas because of our proximity to large bodies of water. The worst part about winter here is that it lasts until April or May. Seriously.

4. Do you like winter sports? Any good stories?

~No. No good at sports of any sort. Although I wish I could ice skate.

5. What is your favorite season, and why?

~I love fall and the changing of the leaves. I love summer in Vermont. I like New England winters when they are snowy, and southern springs.

Bonus: Share a favorite winter pick-me-up. A recipe, an activity, or whatever.

~I think watching falling snow is one of the most peaceful activities there is.

Union Square at dark

My head is full

of material from the conference I've been attending this week. Much to process before I can write about it, but it was a really worthwhile event.

This evening my friend D and I had dinner at a small Venezuelan restaurant and then had hot chocolate at the The Chocolate Bar--yum! Tomorrow is my free day, which I am greatly looking forward to.

Controversy

One of the speakers at the conference I am attending is this man. His talk is tomorrow afternoon--only he won't be there. He won't be there because the United States declined to give him an visa so that he could enter the country.

Tariq Ramadan is a Swiss scholar and senior research fellow at St. Antony's College (Oxford). Apparently he gave small amounts of money to a legal charity that allegedly supports Hamas. And for that reason he cannot enter the United States. His visa was actually revoked in 2004, after he'd accepted a tenured position at Notre Dame University which he subsequently had to give up. Prior to that time Bill Clinton had invited him to speak in the US. And Time Magazine name him one of 100 Top Innovators for the 21st century.

This article tells more about him.

He'll be present via satellite. But I'm appalled at this. What is really so threatening about this man?

National Blog for Choice Day

Today is the 35th anniversary of the landmark Roe v. Wade decision, and that makes it National Blog for Choice Day. I wrote this last year; I don't think I can say it any better this year, so check it out.

I will add that I remember this day 35 years ago. I never imagined that this would still be an issue all these years later.

I used to have a bumper sticker that said "Pro-family Pro-Choice" I still am.

Random bits from the city

~It is cold here. COLD. I knew it would be cold and I brought my long wool coat, but knowing it will be so doesn't prepare you for the feel of the icy wind roaring down long streets and whipping against your face.

~Despite the cold I went out and did some errands this morning. It is always interesting to watch how people react to the cold--or more precisely, dress for it. Most people were bundled up with scarves and hats and gloves, but there were a number of people who seemed oblivious to the cold--coats unbuttoned, no hat, no scarf (and these were not people who couldn't have afforded such items.) I put gloves on at the first sign of cold weather so it always a mazes me when people go around with bare hands.

~ This afternoon I went down to Wall Street to Trinity Church where the conference I'm attending is being held. The conference is interfaith, and is dealing with the issues of religion and violence. I signed up for the option to participate in small group theological reflections, and that was the first thing we did. My group (so far--not everyone was there tonight) seems fascinating and the discussion was rich.

~The Presiding Bishop was the preacher at evensong. She is a tall woman, and she is an imposing presence, but not in the overpowering way some people are. She has a dignity and grace about her that are impressive.

~Tomorrow will be a long day, so I'm going to download the few pictures I took and then go to bed early--something I often say I'm going to do, but rarely follow through on.

Pictures from the train

~A great deal of the time we were very close to the coast--really right next to the beach in a few places. The conductor announced our speed a few times--top speed of 150 mph--I guess because it is the Accela and they want to promote it. I don't know how fast regular trains go. Ive mostly taken the train to Vermont where it has to go much more slowly in many places and stops more often.

Fast train update

~I love traveling by train. Even better, today I took the Accela--wow, is that nice. Why oh why doesn't this country put more money into supporting rail transportation?

~The view was lovely, and on a whim I got my camera out and took pix--I just set it on a fast shutter speed and fired away, with surprisingly good results.

~My conference doesn't start until tomorrow evening, so I have much of the day to putter about.

~It is cold here.....brrrrrrrr.

~I'll post pictures tomorrow. (There's one here). Now I'm going to sleep.

Leaving on a fast train

~I'm headed to the big city tomorrow right after church for this. I'm really looking forward to it--both the city and the conference, but getting ready to travel always makes me feel anxious, to the point that I start to dread the trip. Once I'm on my way I'm fine, but right up until that point I feel like I can't possibly get everything done that I need to.

~I'm taking the train from Beantown to NYC tomorrow. Normally I take the bus, but on Sundays it takes two hours longer than normal. Since I have continuing ed funds to pay for this trip, I'm treating myself to the train. Not only will I get there faster, but I can also read and use my laptop on the train which I can't do on the bus. For some reason I am much more prone to motion sickness in cars and buses than I am on trains. I still have to take the bus from here to Beantown, but that isn't too bad.

~I really dislike packing. I always try to pack lightly, but I usually take too much anyway. And I'm always afraid I'm going to forget something important. Like I can't get whatever it is in the city if I really need it....

~I'll be blogging from the city, and you may get pictures, too.

Friday Five--Read any good books lately?

1. What book have you read in the last six months that has really stayed with you? Why?

~Walter Wink's The Powers that Be. I've known about Walter Wink's work for a few years, and read a bit of it before, but reading this book with two small groups at church this fall really had an impact on me. The main point is that as Christians, we are called to non-violent resistance, a new way of being in the world. I really believe this and he builds a strong case for what is a surprisingly unpopular idea.


2. What is one of your favorite childhood books?

~I'm not sure I could choose just one. My grandmother and father read to us often, and once I learned to read I just about lived at the library. I still have a story book that my grandmother read to us from --Gateway to Storyland. I loved the childhood biographies of famous people that were in every library when I was a kid. I read Hardy Boys and Trixie Belden and the Bobbsey Twins and Judy Bolton. I loved Little Women.


3. Do you have a favorite book of the Bible? Do tell!

~The Gospel according to Matthew. Especially the Sermon on the Mount.


4. What is one book you could read again and again?

~I read lots of books over and over--all of Madeleine L'Engle's books, the HP books, Winds of War by Herman Wouk... they are all like good friends.


5. Is there a book you would suggest for Lenten reading? What is it and why?

~I don't have a suggestion at this point. I am leading a class on the Book of Common Prayer so I will be immersed in that and in commentaries on it. And I want to finish MarkKurlansky's Nonviolence: Twenty-five Lessons from the History of a Dangerous Idea,which I started and abandoned for time reasons.

On doodling and art

I'm intrigued by the very kind and positive responses to my doodle. It's something I've been doing one way or another my whole life.

The thing is I grew up with people telling me I couldn't draw (or sing for that matter). I remember the art teacher I had in seventh grade rather scathingly telling me that "trees don't look like that" in response to one assignment. And I remember spending hours painstakingly doing a painting and receiving a C on it because she just didn't like it.

I also remember checking "how to draw" books out of the library that same year. One was about how to draw native costumes of various countries; when I was going through old stuff a few weeks ago, I found some of those drawings. One summer when I was in elementary school I drew pages and pages of the backs of people, especially heads, because I could never draw faces to my own satisfaction.

Woman Warrior had the same kind of experiences in art classes that I did. The only time I've ever complained to a teacher about grades was to her art teacher in 5th grade (to no avail, I might add). She rose above it, however, and took a drawing and painting class in college, and she painted for a while after college. I love her paintings, and others have complimented them.

It never occurred to me that my doodles could be good for anything. I don't think I'll suddenly start thinking of myself as an artist, but I'll certainly keep doodling, and who knows where it will lead? If nothing else, I won't be bored in meetings.

Doodly do

~Yesterday and today were both long days. Tonight was our monthly vestry meetings. These aren't bad meetings, as meetings go, but after a long day ....well, let's just say I was ready to be home.

~This is what I do during meetings--in fact, that is the doodle from tonight's meeting.

~I wish I could really draw.

~You can see another doodle here. And I have lots more where those came from.

I got nothin'

but I'm trying to post every day.

So I'll point you to this where the writer wonders if a woman can represent humanity and talks about the second-to-the-last supper, and here to find out more about single-payer health care.

Meanwhile, Mitt Romney has won the Michigan primary, which I find depressing, living as I do in the fair state where he was last governor.

The Kid was very excited to get new apps for his iPod touch today. I won't be getting one of these any time soon, but isn't it cool looking? I might, however, look into one of these. A tetrabyte--can you imagine?

Health care

~So if I'm correctly understanding what I heard on NPR this afternoon, the Democrats want to "fix" health care by making sure everyone has insurance, using government programs to fill in the gaps for those who can't afford it (sort of like the plan in place in my state now). The Republicans want to move away from employer-based and government subsidized programs and make insurance more affordable with tax incentives.

~I don't pretend to understand economics or the ins and outs of the insurance system, but it seems to me that both of these plans are flawed. I am especially skeptical of any plan that is based on tax incentives, because it seems to me that they most often benefit the well-off more than the needy. Even in my income bracket, the notion that you can give me a tax break and I'll have enough money to afford something like insurance is laughable. Yeah, if I paid NO TAXES at all it might work.

~I am really disappointed that no one has proposed some sort of single-payer system or anything else that would take health care away from for-profit insurers and make it truly universal.

~But what do I know?

Some political musings

~Does anyone besides me think that there are way too many polls being taken? I just don't find all that prognostication helpful; to the contrary, I think it muddies the waters. And all the talk last week that Clinton should think about quitting if she lost NH? Really, wasn't that a bit premature with only a couple of small states having voted?

~As grateful as I am for a strong slate of Democratic candidates, I'm beginning to believe that it is unfortunate that the first viable female candidate and the first viable Black candidate are pitted against one another. I really believe that both Clinton and Obama are too complicated, too nuanced to be characterized by gender and race and that there are too many other issues to focus on for this race to hinge on those factors. But I am afraid that is where we're headed, despite both candidates saying they didn't want to go there.

~I started out wanting to be excited about Clinton. But I realized that as much as I wanted to support a woman for president, I just couldn't get behind her. Now I'd like to catch the Obama excitement, but I'm just not there yet. I don't want to believe that I actually have become that cynical, but I just don't think that he can be as great an agent of change as he proclaims. I guess I need to read more about his positions, or better yet, see him in person.

~And what about Edwards?

~It's a long time til November. And even longer until January 20, 2009.

Random bits of the weekend

~I didn't preach this weekend, but it was very busy nonetheless. I had a funeral Friday which managed to take up most of the day, so yesterday I tried not to work. I slept in, had a leisurely breakfast and went to buy birdseed. But there were a few things I needed to do to be ready for today, and when I go down to the church, I usually get involved in something I don't plan on doing, and that was true yesterday.

~I didn't expect today to be as busy as it was. Someone remarked to me as I rushed from one thing to another this morning that there should be two of me today, and you know, it would've been helpful. But it was a good day for the most part.

~After church I had brunch with two parishioners who have recently moved into a retirement home. They wanted me to see their new place, and I have to say it's really nice. This couple has been married for 61 years! Marriages that last that long always amaze me. And make me a little--envious isn't exactly the right word, and neither is nostalgic, but something close--I'll never have that kind of longevity in a relationship. There's something about the way couples who've been together a long time really know each other that is very touching to me.

~Tomorrow I really must pack away all the Christmas things. The tree is still up, the nativities are all still out. I did sort and put away all the wrapping paraphernalia, but that's it.

~Next Sunday after church I'm heading to NYC for this. I'm looking forward to the conference and to being in the city, and I'm staying over one extra day. There are so many things I'd like to do there that it will be hard to choose how to use that day. But even if I just sit in my favorite coffee shop and read it will be a day well spent.

~I've been trying to do better about cooking, and I've made several pots of soup. recently. But I'm still not inspired to plan menus the way I should. I just don't want to spend that much time thinking about it. Pathetic, I know.

Another quiz...

Which Saint Are You?

You are Saint Francis of Assisi! You don't care what you look like (or smell like) as long as you can live simply and help the poor. You should be receiving your stigmata any day now.
Take this quiz!

~as seen at the Caffeinated Priest

Split brain

You Are 60% Left Brained, 40% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

~although I'm skeptical of one side of the brain being dominant, if there is any validity to it, this breakdown seems kind of accurate for me. I'm definitely a word person, but not a math person. I'm intuitive, but not necessarily musical or creative. So this 60/40 split might work.

Another recipe

Clam Chowder (for NSLS)

~Given where I live, it's probably heretical for me to post this, because it's not "authentic." And I'm going to post it from memory because that's how I make it. It's a recipe I adapted probably 25-30 years ago, and it's sort of illustrative of how I cook.

1 onion, chopped
3-4 slices bacon, diced OR some olive oil
3-4 potatoes, diced
2-3 cans minced clams
1 bottle clam juice
Milk (I use low fat, but you could use some or all cream)
1 bag frozen corn
Old Bay seasoning--nothing else really works
Salt and pepper

Drain clams, reserving juice. If you want to use bacon, fry it in a Dutch oven (I've made it both ways, and it's better with bacon, but still good without). Remove bacon, drain and set aside. In bacon grease, or in olive oil saute onion until tender. If there is excess grease, drain it off. Add potatoes, clam juice (both the bottle, and the reserved), and enough water to cover potatoes (about an inch over the potatoes), some salt and a liberal amount of Old Bay. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until the potatoes are done. Partially mash the potatoes with potato masher. Add corn and milk (a cup or two, til it's the desired consistency) and heat gently until hot. Add clams and heat until they are hot, but don't let it cook hard. Adjust seasonings to taste. I use LOTS of Old Bay. If you're using bacon, add it right before serving.

Like the recipe below, I'm not precise with quantities and I don't peel the potatoes. I've never used fresh clams, but I'm sure they would be good. I have used bacon bits--not the fake kind, but the "real bacon" kind, to sprinkle on top. I've also made it without clams (using vegetable broth) and called it 'corn chowder'.

Recipe

Potato Leek Soup

1 tablespoon butter
3 cups thinly sliced leeks (about three medium)
6 cups cubed peeled Yukon gold potatoes (about 2 1/4 pound)
2 cups water
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 (14 oz.) cans organic vegetable broth
2 thyme sprigs
1/2 cup whipping cream

Melt butter in Dutch oven over medium heat. Add leeks, cook 10 minutes or until tender, stirring occasionally (do not brown).

Add potatoes, water, salt, broth and thyme sprigs. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 20 minutes or until potatoes are very tender.

Remove pan from heat, discard thyme sprigs. Partially mash potatoes with potato masher, stir in cream. Add salt and pepper to taste, garnish with additional thyme sprigs if desired.

Cooking Light October 2005

NOTE: I tend to follow soup recipes very loosely, and this one is no exception. I never peel the potatoes; I used dried thyme; I didn't measure the potatoes and leeks exactly; I used more broth and less water. I don't like really thick heavy cream soups, so I used some low fat milk and a little bit of cream. Bottom line is, you can be flexible with this and it will still be good. Mine was yummy.

Tonight's dinner

before....
















and after.

(bonus pix from my 365 blog)

Seen all over the blogosphere

The Recipe For Rev Dr Mom

3 parts Nonconformity 2 parts Pizzazz 1 part Laughter Splash of Wisdom Shake vigorously

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

A better day

In contrast to yesterday when I slept until 9:30, I was at work this morning at 6:40. As much as I like snuggle under the covers when the alarm goes off, my days generally go better when I get up and get busy right away, and today was no exception.

The men's group I meet with every other Tuesday morning (and the reason I was at church so early today--we begin at 7:00 am) is a fascinating group. The guys range in age from 50s to 80s, and are mostly retired. Some are WWII veterans with amazing stories to tell, all are active and engaged no matter what their age. A few have been meeting every other Tuesday morning for the last 30 years or so.

I started meeting with the guys because Tuesday is the rector's day off and he didn't want to have to come in for this meeting. At first I was a bit worried that having a female priest as part of the group might be difficult. After all, one reason men's group meet is to relate to one another as men. (At the same time I think of all the years on end that women's groups had to deal with male clergy because that's ALL THERE WAS). Anyway, it was never a problem. I am completely part of the group and I don't feel like my presence has changed the character of their gatherings. We generally have a book discussion after breakfast; right now we are watching a video series.

Meeting with this group always starts my day off well, and I tend to get a lot done on those days, and today was no exception. But I confess that I am more than ready for bed now. Wednesdays are the crazy day at work and I need to be prepared, so g'night!

Just a grumpy day

~Today should have been a better day. It was my day off, and I slept in--all the way til 9:30--which may have been part of the problem because when I sleep that late, no matter how good it feels to stay snuggled under the covers, it seems to throw my whole day out of sync.

~I had a number of things I needed to get done, and I only accomplished a few of them. It felt like I was mired in sticky molasses or something....everything seemed slow and effortful.

~One of the things I had to do was get ready for the men's group I meet with every other Tuesday. It fell to me to bring the breakfast this week (when I began meeting with this group they told me I'd never have to cook, but someone had to cancel for a medical reason, so I took the day), which meant I had to think of something to have, and set up. Normally whoever brings the breakfast just sets up when they get there, but since I have to do the service, too, it seemed wise to set up today. And we're starting a video series tomorrow so I needed to set up the projector and DVD player, too. Because if I waited til tomorrow it surely wouldn't work. All of this isn't bad, it just weighed on me today that I had to get it done.

~And the rest of the week promises to be busy as well. I don't mind being busy, but I do mind feeling like I'm behind before I ever start.

~And so, I was just grumpy all day. I don't like feeling that way, and I don't like feeling like I wasted my day off being that way. But there it is.

~I still have a couple of things to do before bed.

~But I promise to be better tomorrow.

Sunday from the priest's perspective

5:30 am: The alarm goes off and I hit the snooze button. Just 10 more minutes...please.

5:40 am: 10 more? I can do it.

6:10 am: Damn, I have to be at work in an hour. Must get out of bed.

7:15 am: I yell upstairs to let the Kid know I'm leaving (knowing full well that he's not REALLY awake) and then grab my eggo waffle from the toaster and walk down to the church.

7:20 am: Thinking about what I need to do, I sign in, and head over to the church to unlock. I really want to edit my sermon a bit, so I deviate from my normal routine, which turns out to be a mistake because as soon as I walk through the library I hear the alarm and realize that I forgot to turn it off. Crap. I race back to the office and call the alarm company so they can call the police department and let them know not to come.

7:40 am: Doors unlocked, lights on, everything ready upstairs I do a couple of quick edits on my sermon and reprint it. I make it back upstairs and vest with time to spare.

8:00 am: Holy Eucharist Rite I--not my favorite liturgy--I prefer contemporary language--but it's always a simple and straightforward service which is a nice way to start the day. We have a group of 14--good attendance for this service. The sermon does work better with the edits I made (I first preached it last night at the 5:00 pm service).

8:50 am: Okay, I have almost an hour, and I need to prepare for the Epiphany program we're having after church. First I call the Kid to wake him up again. He says he's awake, but since he didn't go to bed til something like 2:30 am, I'm doubtful. I go to my office, and type up the "Epiphany House Blessing" handouts and the prayer for blessing the chalk that everyone will get to take home for their house blessing. Then I find a basket for the chalk, and head out to make sure the acolytes have arrived and know what to do.

9:30 am: Everything is ready for the Epiphany activities. And hurrah! The acolytes are here--well, two of them anyway. I check the altar book and make sure it is set correctly (and I'm once again grateful for all those hours I spent in the sacristy at seminary) and then check the gospel book. My phone buzzes and it's the Kid--he fell back asleep but he's awake now, and he'll be here.

9:50 am: Time to get everyone lined up and ready to go. The choir is a chatty bunch, and they need a minute to get settled, then we all go upstairs and wait for the procession. On the way upstairs I notice that the bulletin has one thing wrong--something we did for Advent but aren't doing now. Well, I was the last person to proof the bulletin, so I have no one to blame but myself. We'll see what the organist does, and I'll take my cue from her.

10:00 am: Holy Eucharist Rite II (Prayer B). It's time. Okay, the organist's following the bulletin so I do the opening acclamation from the back and then the first hymn begins--the First Nowell. I always thought it was funny that the hymnal spells it that way. We have a good crowd and the singing is enthusiastic.

10:15 am: The sermon goes well. I've been referring to the magi as the "wise guys" and that gets some smiles. I'm enjoying focusing on Matthew this year. But I never REALLY know how it's going to go until this service--the other two are so small that the dynamics feel really different. The rector is away, so I have to do the announcements--the one thing he ALWAYS does no matter who is presiding. I don't really like announcements, but I've planned what to say, and I explain our Epiphany program, and it's all okay. After the peace but before the offertory sentence I bless the chalk.

11:10 am: I give the dean's blessing (a blessing the dean used at seminary that people here really like) and then it's time for the last hymn--We Three Kings. Three soloists are doing the king's parts and they come to the mike wearing crowns. I love it. After the last hymn we process out, and one of the acolytes leads us with a star, and the three kings carry out these Magi sculptures a parishioner made. They are hard to describe, but they are cool, and it all fits today. Instead of greeting people at the back of the church I go straight downstairs for our program.

11:30 am: People are enthusiastic about the chalk and house blessing. We bless the parish hall, putting the inscription 20 + C + M + B + 08 on one of the exposed beams. Everyone gets a piece of chalk and a copy of the prayer to take home. We have King's Cake, and the kids are all trying to figure out where in the cake the three coins are hidden so they can get the right piece. We have the manger set up in one corner, and like the magi who brought gifts to the baby Jesus, people have brought baby things that we will give to a local charity that helps mothers in need.

12:30 pm: Everyone's gone, doors are locked, alarm is set and I sign out and head home. What's for lunch, the Kid wants to know. Can we go to the wings' place? It's not my favorite place, but I can't think of anything better so off we go.

1:00 pm: Every table has its own TV and they are all playing sports. Eh. At least there's no sound except from the one big TV in the bar. The Kid gets "hurt me" wings, and I get fish and chips. The fish is tough . How do you make fish tough? Gah. And I spill my diet coke which embarrasses the Kid.

1:45 pm: We decide to stop at Borders on the way home, just because. DVDs are on sale 3-for-2, but we can't decide. The Kid decides just to get the extended version of LOTR. I get a gingerbread latte (decaf, only two pumps).

3:30 pm: Home. I'm suddenly very tired. I change and think I should go for a walk and take some pictures outside for my 365 blog.

4:00 pm: Maybe I'll just lie down for a few minutes...I'm so tired.

5:30 pm: I wake up, cold because I don't have any covers on. Eh. No walk, it's dark now. And I really don't feel like cooking. I just lie there for a while longer. Honestly, how do people have the energy and/or motivation to come home and cook?

6:30 pm: We heat up some leftovers for dinner. Hey, at least there are leftovers!

7:30 pm: I futz around with the camera and Photoshop and end up with a mediocre picture for today's 365 post. I'm not going to make it through the year if I don't find more interesting things to take pix of.

10:00 pm: Having read blogs for a while, I reflect on the day a bit, and decide to blog about it. It was a pretty good day, if uneventful. Church was good. I like being on my own there, and everything went well. Nice crowd and well received program. No complaints from anyone. Would that it could always be this way!

11:15 pm: Time to publish this and go to bed!

The Christmas surprise

~also seen here

I never meant for it to be a Christmas surprise, and if I had planned it, something would've gone wrong. But here is how it happened.

Our 5 1/2 year old Dell desktop died about a week before Christmas. I knew it was coming but I was hoping it would hold out a little while longer. But it didn't. And it only took a day or two of only having one computer for me to realize that sharing would not work for long. The Kid and I are too computer addicted, and honestly, I work at home and he has homework that requires use of the computer so it's not just our internet addictions that are the issue.

I just happened to go to Staples a day or two after the compupter died and saw some pretty cheaply priced Dells---I came sooooooo close to buying one, but I hesitated to invest in another pc when I really do like Apple better now. So I waited.

A few more days passed. Woman Warrior came home and she needed to use the computer, too. I dithered some more about what kind to buy and when. As I usually do, I thought about it for a while and then acted quickly all of a sudden. So about 4:30 Friday afternoon (the Friday before Christmas) I went on line and ordered the iMac, thinking it would arrive Christmas Eve or the day after Christmas.

The next day (Saturday) around noon I heard the doorbell. I was home working on my sermon and everyone else (NSLS, Mr. LS, WW, and the Kid) had gone out shopping. I hurried to the door and to my surprise found the Fed Ex man there holding my new computer--about 18 hours after I ordered it! I decided to put it in my closet and bring it out later. Then it hit me....I could put it under the tree. Only WW knew I had ordered it, and I'm sure she didn't expect it so soon either. And no one knew it was delivered but me. So later I wrapped it and put it back in the closet.

Christmas Eve after everyone had gone to bed and I had finished my Christmas sermon I stuffed the stockings and put presents under the tree. The computer box was off to one side but clearly visible. Christmas Day I went off to church before anyone else was up and around, and we didn't open presents until after church and brunch. What really surprised me was that the Kid expressed no curiosity over the big box. Had he found it and now was trying to play it cool?

Anyway we opened presents one at a time, until that big box was all that was left. The tag only said, "From Santa". The Kid pulled it over and I said to him, "You open it." He was truly surprised. And very excited since he will be the main user of the iMac.

Honestly, I've never been good at pulling off big surprises. The kids used to be bad about searching for and often finding any presents I bought early or guessing what they were getting. So this felt like a real coup for me.

Friday Five--New Year's Resolutions

1. Do you make New Year resolutions?

Not any more...I never managed to keep them when I did.

2. Is this something you take seriously, or is it a bit of fun?

I took them seriously--except that I never kept them for long.

3. Share one goal for 2008.

I've been reading a few bloggers who have themes for the year rather than resolutions, and I think my theme for the year is "being"--I'm not planning on making any big changes this year, just being here and hopefully being happy and productive.

4. Money is no barrier, share one wild/ impossible dream for 2008

An apartment in New York City. Pay off all my student loans.

5. Someone wants to publish a story of your year in 2008, what will the title of that book be?

Ask me in December.

Feeding the hungry

It's long been the case that the church is one place people turn when they are in need--not just spiritual need, but real physical need. And not just church members, but people off the street who you are likely never to see again. As assistant rector, I have a small discretionary fund at my disposal that I can use to help people when they come asking. Small is the operative word, though, so I have to be careful how I use it.

I don't mind giving money to people. I used to give change out of my pockets to people on the street in the city, even though many people told me that I shouldn't--that I was likely just feeding someone's addiction or enabling someone to avoid taking responsibility for herself. At work we have some informal rules we tend to follow (although we don't have to , I suppose). I don't as a rule give cash to anyone--I give them food cards for the most part but I've also written checks to help pay utility bills and the like. And we tend to try not to give to the same people more than once a month.

All this sounds so simple and straight forward. But really, it often feels so much more complicated. Because there is always this feeling of unease, this hermeneutic of distrust operating. Is this person's need real? Are they taking responsibility for themselves? Are they just out to get what they can from whoever will give it?

I tend to err on the generous side. It's hard for me to say no to people (although I have done it). The office staff chides me, and tries to warn me when someone comes asking. "X was just here a few weeks ago." "A reeks of cigarette smoke---you shouldn't give her money for food, she'll just buy cigarettes." Even when they don't say anything, I can tell that they are evaluating --yes, even judging--the person asking for help. And to be honest, sometimes I wonder, too, although I try not to, try not make judgments.

Today was one of those days when I had to wonder if I should be tougher. Three different people came by (I usually only see a couple a month, but I'm sure now, right after the holidays, is a hard time for a lot of people). The first guy who stopped in looked familiar to me, so I said, "Have we helped you before?" "Oh, no," he said. I gave him a food card, but when I went to record his info I saw that he HAD been in before. More than once. So couldn't he have said so? About thirty minutes later a young woman came in. She looked familiar too, but her name wasn't. So I gave her a food card, too. After she left, I realized that a woman with a similar name had been in the same day in December as the man who'd been in earlier today. Coincidence? And what about the woman who came in a few minutes later? The one I didn't even talk to because I didn't have enough left to help anyone else today--what about her?

So has the word gotten out that I'm 'easy'? These people had plausible stories--late food stamps, waiting for disability payments to kick in. Are these people taking advantage? What does that even mean? I can't imagine that it could be pleasant having to go around asking for help. I know what it feels like to not have enough money in the bank to make ends meet. I get it. Who am I to judge them? Even if they are working the system, maybe they are just trying to get by the only way they can for now. And what I can give them won't go that far.

I worry, too, about our implicit "pull yourselves up by your bootstraps" mentality. The truth is people can work really really hard and still be down on their luck, still need a hand. And I worry about our implicit, perhaps unconscious judgments based on how people look or sound.

I guess for now I will just keep on doing what I'm doing. I'll try not to judge. I'll help who I can til my money runs out. It seems like all I can do. It feels like what I have to do.

Back to work

Today was my first day of work since Christmas Day. My mind has been buzzing the last couple of days with things I wanted to get done today--mostly organizational, getting some things in place that would make things easier later this year. I mean, it's the week after Christmas, things should be pretty quiet; there aren't extra meetings and programs this week, so it's a great time to try to get ahead. Right?

I don't know what kind of delusional thinking I was engaging in to think that might happen today though. The boss is on vacation and it turns out the parish administrator is home sick for the week. I hadn't been in the office for five minutes before I was inundated with phone messages, mini-crises, and the task of producing all the bulletins (I usually edit them, but don't have to copy and fold).

Well, getting ahead was a nice thought while it lasted.

Random bits of the new year

~I have totally lost track of the days of the week. Without going to church on Sunday my week has no reference point. But I know that whatever the weekday, tomorrow is January 2 and the Kid returns to school and I to work. I'm a bit bummed that I spent almost all of my time off sniffling and sneezing and not feeling all that great. It wasn't all bad. I slept late every day, laid around in my jammies, cooked soup, tried to knit and blogged. But it would've been better without the cold.

~And without the rain. I think it has rained every day. While all around us, others get snow. Eh.

~Knitting is kicking my butt right now. I'm not sure I'm up to it, to tell you the truth. I'm really good at casting on, but after that, not so much. I feel like such a klutz.

~I'm not making any resolutions for 2008--I gave that up as a lost cause years ago--but playing with my photoblog has made me realize that I want to learn more about working on templates. Maybe I need to move beyong blogger, but I'm not sure about that yet.

~I haven't been that fussy about templates heretofore. This one is still the orginal "classic blogger"--I've been afraid to update it. But I may take in on in a few days.

~I have lots of sort of organizational things I want to accomplish when I get back in my office; I've been planning them out in my head. Now if I have time to put them in place I'll be happy.

~I've been staying up really late every night, too. And that needs to stop.

~I just heard Sen. Clinton say, "I'm your girl." I'm your GIRL? Sorry, that really struck me the wrong way. Do we hear Obama saying, "I'm your boy."? I don' t think so.

Get ready, get set

Go! Project 365 starts today....



but this isn't it. This is my new year's good luck dinner--black eye peas, greens and rice.

Project 365 is here.

My first post of 2008

~Raising my glass to wish you all a wonderful new year!