Optimism

~I put out grape jelly and oranges for orioles today; now to see if any orioles pass by this way!

Random bits of Monday

~For the third weekend in a row, the weekend was jam packed with extra work-related stuff. It's all been good, but exhausting. This weekend was the busiest of all, with consecration of our new bishop, which was awesome, and a reception to meet a visiting bishop from a South American diocese with which we have a mission relationship. 

~I miss having two days a week off. And two days in a row would be even better. But I don't see it happening.

~Although I accept friend requests on FB from parishioners, I think I may have to stop actually looking at their pages. I really don't want to know if they happen to be fans of Glen Beck. Argh.

~I went to Borders this afternoon, and everywhere I turned there were books about "doomsday" in America. Get a grip people. We survived 8 years of GWB. I didn't expect this kind of hysteria now. It's scarry!

~For the first time in about 15 years I live in an area where a significant proportion of the population is more conservative than I--much more conservative in some cases. Didn't expect that in New England. And don't really like it. I mean, I can be friends with people who disagree with me politically, but some of the stuff I hear is over the top.

~I made Ianqui's Balsamic Brussel Sprouts tonight and they were delicious!

~Last week I bought a new scale. And weighed myself for the first time in at least 3 years. On the one hand my weight was only a couple of pounds more than last time I weighed, which I suspected because my clothes still fit, but on the other hand, I weigh the most I ever have. Sigh. I've been trying to eat intentionally and healthily this week, but I need to work harder and try to shed some pounds.

~And that will mean exercise of some sort. Ugh.

~Mama Cardinal is still sitting on her nest.  I can't help but think that it must get boring!

Nesting

 Can you see her?  Mama Cardinal has a nest right outside my kitchen window. Not a great picture, but taken from inside, looking out into the bush where the nest is hidden away.

ahhhh...

How about this one?

hmmmm.....

So I like this new template, I think, but there are two things messed up that I can't seem to fix...the posts are dated (even though in the layout it says they should be) and the navbar is missing (also seems to be there in on the layout page. The former is bad for the long term; the latter is just annoying because I have to open blogger in a new tab to access my profile. Ick. If I can't fix these, it may be on to another template.

EDITED : Uh, yeah so I fixed the first problem and so mucked up the template trying to fix the second that I am sadly back to the drawing board. Which means, chances are you never SAW the new template now linked to above, which was quite lovely. This is, I think, "above my pay grade."

It's a double-edged sword

So I've been reflecting a bit in odd moments about this state of living-aloneness that I find myself in now. Between FB and blogs, I keep up with a number of clergy-moms* and I find myself thinking about how hard it is to balance it all, especially in this wow-it's-busier-than-Christmas week, this week during which (beginning with Palm Sunday and ending today) I presided over 13 services and prepared 7 sermons, among other things. And I'm surprisingly torn in how I feel about it.

I have, after all, been in the single parenting shoes. For most of my parenting years--as a student, as a professor, as a student again, and then as a priest. I KNOW the kind of tight-rope walking that is required to do-it-all, even if you can't ever really do-it-all. I have less experience (sadly, far less) doing it with a spouse/partner. It's tough, either way.

And so I find myself thinking how much easier it is since I only have myself to think about on the home front--no one else's schedule to consider, no one else's meals or laundry or needs to worry about. If I need to stay at work until 10:00 pm to finish bulletins after the Maundy Thursday service, well, who will know the difference? And if I find a morning when I can sleep just a half hour later to prepare myself for the marathon that is Holy Week, I'm not throwing anyone else out of sync.

On the other hand, this week, more than most since I've embarked on living alone, I've missed having someone else around. The mere presence of someone else to keep me grounded, to make me go home at a reasonable hour because there is someone there who needs me or who cares if I'm there. Selfishly perhaps, I've wished more than once this week that there was someone else to get groceries, to make sure there was dinner cooked when I got home late, just to say "glad you're home."

After the last service today, the marathon run (successfully, I might add), the bulletins recycled, the lights out, the door locked, I needed a nap more than anything. And I took one--a long one, grateful that I didn't need to worry about dinner for anyone. But at the same time, I missed my kids, I missed family, I wished for eggs to dye and hunt, and dinner to eat together, and a collective wow-we-made-it-through-the-week sigh of relief.

It really is a double-edged sword.

*truth be told, this applies to academic moms, too, in a different context; really any working-outside-the-home moms