Friday, November 30, 2007

Christmas-festivus-of-your-choice getting on your last nerve already?

Then this Friday Five is for you! And you don't have to be a revgalpal to play along...

Please tell us your least favorite or most annoying seasonal....

1. dessert~cookie~family food

~Candy canes that are bright colored and fruit flavored. Ewww. I'm a traditionalist here--red and white stripes and peppermint for me. The only deviation I like is cinnamon. But even that doesn't seem quite right.

2. beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...)

~I'm not sure I've ever had REAL eggnog, but the stuff that is in the carton--um, no thanks. I used to like it, but no more. Just as well too, from a fat and calories perspective.

3. tradition

~I'm probably going to offend someone here, but I've come to really dislike Santa in the mall. Not Santa per se, or visiting Santa, but Santa in the mall--with all the pressure to buy a package of pictures and the long lines, and just having to be in the mall. We were really lucky when the Kid was little because the college where I taught had a big Christmas party with Santa, and it was much lower key and a nicer experience. And I did take the older kids to the mall Santa when they were small, but it's just gotten kind of cheesy, imho.

4. decoration

~Those big blow up things on people's lawns. Nuff said.

5. gift (received or given)

~This might be an odd take on this, but years ago, when my siblings had all just gotten established as adults we decided to draw names for Christmas. I hand smocked a really beautiful (imo) night gown for my sister-in-law--that I found out later was never worn. And my (other) brother got my name and I didn't get a present at all.

~
BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it.

All the crap they play NONSTOP everywhere you go these day....I really like Christmas music, but that sort of ruins it for me.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mold

~I live in a very humid place. I think I've complained here before about my shoes mildewing in the summer. Some of my winter clothes had mildew on them when I took them out. The leather chair in my living room got mildew on it this summer, as did the bookcase in the hall. I thought this was just what you had to put up with here, especially since I don't have air conditioning.

~The woman who cleans my house every other week mentioned once or twice how much mold she sees. I've noticed some a few places, but again thought it was just something you had to put up with here. And it's not like it's awful fuzzy stuff growing everywhere....more like grey or sometimes black spots, and I wasn't sure that it wasn't just spots that had been there forever. But the person who cleans mentioned it to her mother-in-law who just happens to work at the church and who just happened to mention it in the office. Well. I walked in yesterday to hear all sorts of discussion about my house going on.

~In this discussion I find out that, no, my shoes shouldn't mildew. And neither should my furniture. Who knew?

~So the maintenance guy all around handy man from church comes up and looks around. And tomorrow someone is coming to see if I do have a real mold problem. At the very least they will have to work on reducing the moisture in the crawl space and basement. And repaint.

~Tonight I was looking around. And sure enough, there are some grey spots on the ceiling in the living room and in the hall that I had never noticed. Could be mold. Could be something else.

~I won't mind if they repaint--since they promised to do it when I moved in two and a half years ago.

~Stay tuned for further developments.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Tears

What do you do when your daughter's heart is broken...and she's on the other side of the world? And there's nothing you can do to help?

LD#1 is brave and smart and strong, and has always wanted to make the world a better place. I hate that she has to experience something like this.

Hope for a miracle for her and the GS, okay? Hope that there is some justice left in the world.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Random bits of my week so far

~It's only Tuesday?

~I guess it's inevitable when you have a congregation that is heavily populated by older people, but we've been hit by a string of deaths in the last couple of weeks. It feels like we're losing a whole generation in just a few days.

~None of these deaths were unexpected. Most of them were people who had lived long and productive lives. But still....it's hard to see them go.

~LD#1 (who blogs as Woman Warrior) is in a rough spot now. I don't know how much she wants me to blog about it (she hasn't, yet), but the thing she has most dreaded happened this morning. She could use good thoughts and hugs.

~It's hard when your kid is on the other side of the world. I'm just saying.

~My post below had some subtexts that I think were missed. I thought about being more explicit, but decided against it. Some things just aren't bloggable.

~Although on reflection I don't hesitate to blog about my dysfunctional family...

~The weather here is schizo--cold one day and warm the next.

~The Kid announced that there are only 18 and a half school days until Christmas break. Yikes.

~I am in my usual late November denial about Christmas. Advent hasn't even started yet!

~The Kid got a new iPod Touch. I tried to post from it--the first time I actually posted to his old and now defunct blog and the second time it wouldn't work. But the iPod Touch is way cool.

~I may be the last person in the universe not to have an iPod. I've been planning to get a Nano, but the Touch is soooo cool. Also more expensive :(

~Today was cleaning day. It still makes me happy to come home to a spotless house that someone else has cleaned. That has to be the best present I've ever given myself.

~Tomorrow being Wednesday will be a crazy day. Too many meetings. All day. Gah. I don't mind meetings that are useful and productive, but for the most part, these aren't---they're more like something we have to do every week because that's what good staffs do.

~So maybe I'll go to bed early tonight...I often say I'm going to do that, but rarely follow through. Will tonight be the exception?

Monday, November 26, 2007

Schedules

In response to posts seen here and here, and since it is on my mind today anyway, here is how my weekly schedule works out:

~Monday is one of my days off, and usually it's a good day to be off. Sunday is generally an intense day in terms of being "on" and for an introvert like me, having Monday off is nice. And since it's early in the week I don't usually feel like I have a lot hanging over my head.

~Tuesdays start with small groups early in the morning. Every other week I meet with the men's group for Eucharist, breakfast and a book discussion beginning at 7:00 am. I really enjoy this--they are a group of mostly older men and very interesting. Later those mornings I meet with an intercessory prayer group and another book discussion. On the opposite Tuesdays I am teaching/leading a bible study--it's a lot like teaching a college class, and it's fun, but it requires prep work. This is a new group and I'm realizing that the prep works has a high probability of cutting into my Monday time off.

Unlike Coffeepastor and Cheesehead, I don't have set office hours. I tend to be in the office all day on work days unless I have hospital calls or meetings elsewhere. So I work on newsletters and bulletins and plan programs and schedule acolytes and so on.

~Wednesdays are busy days. I don't go in until around 9:30, but I have a mid week service at 10:00. Then I meet with the rector and the music minster for about 30 minutes. Then I meet with the rector. Then at 1:00 we have a staff meeting that includes everyone and lasts at least an hour. By then I'm fried, but sometimes I have more meetings, and once a month, vestry is on Wednesday night.

~Thursdays I go in voluntarily to attend an early morning Eucharist, breakfast and book discussion. This is just for me--I'm not technically working unless the rector is away. Thursday mornings I try to review the bulletins and write the prayers of the people. Thursday afternoons I finish up with that and work on whatever else is going on. Sometimes there are late afternoon or early evening committee meetings--lately there's been one every Thursday. At least one.

~Fridays are my other day off. Except once a month I have to go in for the Altar Guild meeting. I try not to work on Fridays other than that, but if it's my preaching week, I am thinking about my sermon, and if there's something going on on Saturday, then I have to write on Friday.

~Saturday morning is my writing time if it's my preaching week. I like to allow myself from 9:00 to 2:00 to write and edit. Then I have a service at 5:00 pm. If it's not my preaching week (and I preach every other week) and there are no other meetings or funerals or anything special going on, then I am off.

~Sundays when I am preaching I go down to the church about 7:20 and get everything ready for the 8:00 am service where I preach and celebrate. Between 9:00 and 10:00 I make sure everything is set for the 10:00 service, check up on the acolytes, go over my sermon if need be. Then at 10:00 I take the deacon role in the liturgy (which means that I read the gospel and set the table for Eucharist) and preach. Often after church there are meetings, and once a month there is an adult forum. After that, again barring anything extra going on, I'm off. On the weeks when I'm not the preacher, I arrive around nine to check on things, and then I'm the celebrant at the 10:00 service.

~That's how it works theoretically. But there are times when it is really, really hard to actually get the time off that is in the schedule and now is one of those times. Between Diocesan Convention and funerals and the newsletter my days off have been pretty irregular. I worked all day today to the newsletter done, and we have FOUR funerals in the next week--Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday. While I'm not officiating at any of them, I probably still need to be at three of the four.

~Note that I'm the assistant here. The rector does most of the pastoral visiting. And he is much better than I am at taking his days off (Monday and Tuesday). And he's rarely in the office past 2:00 pm. And his sermons are written by Friday afternoon. What's wrong with this picture? (Also note that he encourages me to take all my time off. I just don't see how to get everything done and not work on my days off).

~I was in academia before I went to seminary, and so I'm used to just working until everything is done--a state that is ephemeral at that. And I'm a bit of a perfectionist about work things which probably contributes to how much time I spend in the office.

~In seminary the importance of having a regular support group and scheduled study time were stressed. Note the absence of these in my schedule.

~Yeah, I'm feeling a little frustrated tonight (and very tired); I don't mean to be whiny but this was clearly a timely topic for me today.

~Now I have reading to do for my bible study in the morning--at least for as long as I can stay awake.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Cranberry Wars

I love cranberries, and I make wicked good cranberry sauce (if I do say so myself). Although I grew up eating the canned jellied stuff, it really seems pretty fake to me these days.

My sole contribution to Thanksgiving dinner this year was cranberry sauce. But along with my sauce, there was a dish with the good old jellied stuff, complete with ridges from the can sides--because a couple of members of the extended family will eat ONLY what come out of the can.

Needless to say, there was a running debate on the relative merits (and the lack thereof) of homemade whole berry sauce and the standard canned jellied sauce. And a lot of jokes.

But the funniest part was when the leftovers came out for Friday lunch. When the container of jelled sauce was opened we found a new word inscribed in it: "Ziploc" (from the lid of the container) Now I ask you, what REAL food is that impressionable?


Saturday, November 24, 2007

The mug meme

As seen at St. Casserole's ....but now with pictures!

Seven mugs from my cupboard:

1.

From the Episcopal Women's Caucus

2.
Seminary mug

3.
Paid way too much for this one and then dropped it, resulting in the web of cracks

4.
From an English tea shop in the Village--it has a mate and a matching tea pot

5.
From the Museum of Natural History

The last two require two pictures each...

6.


Unofficial class mug at seminary

7.



From a pottery shop in the Village

Anyone who wants to play, consider yourself tagged...

Friday, November 23, 2007

Post Thanksgiving Friday 5

From the RGBPs:

1. Did you go elsewhere for the day, or did you have visitors at your place instead? How was it?

~See posts below. We had a wonderful time at my daughter's inlaws' place.

2. Main course: If it was the turkey, the whole turkey, and nothing but the turkey, was it prepared in an unusual way? Or did you throw tradition to the winds and do something different?

Full menu: We started with appetizers early afternoon--clam dip, crab toasts, lobster rolls (little ones), mussles, butternut squash pot stickers with sage butter (!)

Main course: Turkey (large and traditionally roasted), stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole (but not made with canned soup, and far better!), brussel sprouts, cranberry sauce (both homemade and canned), delicious bread.

Dessert: Pumpkin pie, tarte tatin, and homemade maple ice cream

But wait--this morning we had crab and spinach quiche, and a Slovakian pastry whose name I've forgotten, and bagels, and some (but not me) had leftover lasgana.

And then Thanksgiving leftovers for lunch.

3. Other than the meal, do you have any Thanksgiving customs that you observe every year?

Not really

4. The day after Thanksgiving is considered a major Christmas shopping day by most US retailers. Do you go out bargain hunting and shop ‘till you drop, or do you stay indoors with the blinds closed? Or something in between?

I try to observe "Buy Nothing Day". I toyed with the idea of going to Target with NSLS, mostly because I haven't been in a Target since 1994, and everyone raves so about them, but we never made it. And when I drove by leaving town and saw the parking lot I was just as glad that I didn't go! Madness, I say, madness.

5. Let the HOLIDAY SEASON commence! When will your Christmas decorations go up?

Sorry, but for me Advent begins next weekend. The Advent wreath and Advent calendars (yes, plural) will go up then. Christmas decorations won't emerge until the week before Christmas, and they'll stay up until after 12th Night (January 6).

Back home again

So we're back home after a great Thanksgiving at NSLS's inlaws. We ate lots--and lots and lots--NSLS married into a family of fantastic cooks--and played Apples to Apples and took a walk and just chatted. We left mid-afternoon, and the traffic wasn't even too bad coming home. We passed a number of shopping centers with overflowing parking lots--ugh. There is NOTHING I want badly enough to join in that madness today.

The rest of the weekend is work I'm afraid--and first up, a sermon to write.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Over the river and through the woods

...not to Grandmother's house, but to NSLS's in-laws who live a couple of hours north of here. We'll have a sumptuous dinner and come back tomorrow.

And since food is one of the main features of the day, what is the food that it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without for you?

Mine are homemade cranberry sauce and cornbread dressing....I love all the rest, but those two are must haves, so whenever I go away for Thanksgiving, if I don't have those, I come home and make them the next day.

Hope everyone has a wonderful and (and delicious) Thanksgiving Day.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The no win situation

So the email was from my sister, chastising me for neglecting my mother and for preventing her from communicating with my kids.

Anyone who's read here very much knows that my relationship with my mother is and has been rocky. For reasons that I only partly understand she doesn't (for the most part ) approve of what I've done with my life--I'm sure she'd tell you how proud she is that I earned a PhD and she might say that she's proud that I became a priest (but honestly, I'm not sure about that one.) But she tells me all the time how selfish and uncaring I am, and how I've messed things up for my kids, and how with all my education and training I should do better. She doesn't always tell me directly, but she tells me. Some times we can have a decent conversation, but more often than not she gets upset by something I've said --and I swear that I don't try to provoke her.

Anyway, she's had a rough patch lately, and she's now in an assisted living facility in Disney City in the South where my sister lives, and she is confined to a wheelchair. I've talked to her a few times, but only briefly.

My sister's call was precipitated by a call my mother made to me. It came in the middle of a long afternoon of back to back meetings, and I couldn't talk. I called her back that evening but she didn't answer so I left a message. I should have known better. I should have realized that she wouldn't check her voice mail.

So three days later I get this email. My mother wants my daughter's address to send her a birthday card and if I won't talk to my own mother the very least I can do is not prevent her from contacting my children. Excuse me?

Then it's as if she's channeling my mother because I get the lecture that I've gotten periodically from her about how someone with my education and training should do better, should be more
... whatever. Maybe it's true, I don't know, but the lectures don't help.

I sent her NSLS's address and told her I'd respond to the rest of her message later. I've composed the reply in my head over and over--the snarky one, the mean one, the reasonable one. More than likely it won't matter what I say. My sister and I have a complicated relationship, too, and we couldn't be more different. I shouldn't care what she thinks of me. But that's easier to say than to actually feel.

All this does make me sad. Very sad.

Monday, November 19, 2007

No win situation

So when someone in your family sends an email chastising you for being the evil awful person you are is it better to a) respond, thus confirming what an evil awful person you are, or b) ignore it, thus confirming what an evil awful person you are?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Sweet Sixteen

The Kid tells me that the "sweet" part only applies to girls, but anyway, he turned 16 today! No big celebration, just lunch out and some time looking at the new iPod Touch, which he wants badly.

A driver's permit can't be far behind...

Saturday, November 17, 2007

On old notes and teaching

I've spent today prepping for an Adult Forum I'm leading after church tomorrow, and I've been dipping heavily into my notes from seminary. I know a few of my classmates ditched some or all of their notes at graduation, glad to be done with them, but school geek that I am, I saved ALL of mine, even for the classes I really disliked --like Church History 1.

This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me. I only threw away my undergrad notes when I went off to seminary (and then I still saved a few of them). I still have some of my grad school notes, too, I think. In the back of my mind when I was going through things was the thought that if I ever went back to teaching, I would or least might need them.

I'm a good note taker and I've found useful things in old notes, things I'd forgotten that I had once known--or at least been exposed to. Today I've been going through notes from my liturgy classes and felt once again the excitement of being in those classes--they were part theoretical and part practical and they really helped me start feeling like becoming a priest was real.

The other thing I appreciate about going back to old notes is finding how things that I didn't fully grasp or appreciate at the time I see in a whole new way now after having lived with the material in real life for while. That happened sometimes when I was teaching, too--some concept I'd mostly but not completely understood suddenly because crystal clear to me as I thought about how to teach it, thought up new examples to use.

Over the last year I've starting doing more and more teaching at church--mostly in small groups--and I've really been enjoying it I hadn't especially missed teaching, but I'm finding what I am doing now very rewarding. Of course my audience (so to speak) is more motivated and interested than the average first or second year college student, and there's no grading involved :) Even better it motivates me to dig into material that I'm interested in but likely wouldn't take the time to do just on my own. I need external motivation,too.

And now I'd better finish up for tomorrow.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Candidate quiz

In my previous post I mentioned internet quizzes that supposedly help you figure out which candidate is closest to your opinion on some the major issues. Here's one from abc news and here's another.

Let me hasten to add that I don't take these completely seriously--they're just sort of amusing. In reality the choices they give in the answers often don't contain what I really think. And the truth is that any candidate I agreed with on everything probably wouldn't be electable.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Eeny meeny minie mo

My state is considering joining in the rush and moving up the date of its presidential primary to February 5. Which means that I need to start paying more attention and deciding who to vote for. When I take those internet quizzes that are supposed to help you figure out which candidates best match your positions on the major issues, I invariable come up with Kucinich. But I'm not voting for him. I'd love to give my whole hearted support to Hilary Clinton as the first really viable woman candidate, but I just can't do it. There are things I like about Obama, and about John Edwards. But I'm not really sold on anyone just yet.

And doesn't it feel like they've all been campaigning forever already? And it's still a year til the election....

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Questions, questions

At the beginning of NaBloPoMo Liane asked me:

-When did you know you wanted to be a priest, and when did you know you were going to be a priest?

I wrote about the first part of this question (about knowing I wanted to be a priest) last year. As to the second part, about knowing that I would be a priest, it sounds like a simple question, but it really isn't. My bishop was always very careful about saying that ordinations were not set until the Standing Committee (a committee that helps oversee the diocese) gave its final consent, so I guess that's when I really knew it was going to happen.

But as for feeling like I was really going to be a priest, I think that happened gradually during seminary. I mean, you start out in a grad program like any other grad program in many ways, and you look around at your classmates and think, holy crap, we're all going to be priests! And you live in community with those people where everyone's idiosyncrasies and warts and flaws eventually show themselves, and you go through a lot of stressful experiences together. And suddenly one day you realize that you are starting to think of this or that person as a PRIEST and to see them living into that role. And you do something you'd never quite believed you could do and you think, maybe I CAN do this. I think it must be like this for med students or other people in professional programs. You take on the identity unawares, and at some aha moment start to really believe it.

-What was the best part of the discernment process for you? the worst?

Anyone who has ever been in the discernment process will tell you that it's stressful at best and excruciatingly awful at worst. I think the best part for me was the affirmation and support I received from people--in my home parish, at the job I ultimately left, from people I met in random ways. When things were rough--and they sometimes were--there was always someone who could help me pick up the pieces and gain some perspective. My bishop was brand new when I was meeting with the Commission on Ministry and my first meeting with him was pretty intimidating. But he quickly became my ally, and once I became a postulant it was clear that he wanted to do everything he could to support me.

As for the worst part--I have two responses, one specific and one general. Everyone has to have a psychological evaluation and I was required to see both a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Apparently (although I didn't realize it at the time of the appointment) the psychiatrist and I didn't connect very well. In hindsight, I think that we were coming from two very different places, and that he didn't ask kind of questions that would elicit the kind of answers that he later said he would've liked. In the end, everything worked out, but for a while it seemed like that this one thing could stand in the way of me going forward, and I really felt like he didn't get me at all. But it's tough to say that in such a situation, you know?

In general, going through this process require one to lay oneself bare, to make oneself very vulnerable, and it's scary. The outcome is uncertain. It's potentially life-altering, and it sometimes feels like one little thing, one misunderstanding or misstep could easily disrail everything. I don't know how I would've handled it if I hadn't successfully made it through the process after investing so much in it, but that does happen to people. I can say now that the stress and all that went along with it was worth it, but if you don't make it, that's a whole other story.

Any more questions?

Monday, November 12, 2007

Ten random things about me

No one tagged me, but I'm doing it anyway. The challenge, however, is thinking of ten things I haven't told about myself already. Hmmmmmm....

1. I like to doodle. I doodle at meetings all the time. I have pages and pages of doodles.

2. I don't like mushrooms or olives, things most people love.

3. But I love okra and brussel sprouts, which many people find repulsive.

4. I always paint my toenails during the summer but never my fingernails.

5. I wear a toe ring and a thumb ring. My sister thinks this is extremely bizarre.

6. My sister thinks most of what I do is extremely bizarre.

7. I only wear silver jewelry. I would wear white gold, but I don't have any.

8. My middle name is my mother's maiden name. I hated that when I was a kid because everyone else had 'regular' names for middle names, like 'Ann' or 'Elizabeth'.

9. I didn't name any of my children with family names. Now I sort of wish I had. But I do like their names.

10. I've never been to the west coast. Or to Europe, except for Iceland. I really want to go to England and Scotland some time, but I have to get over my fear of flying.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Thoughts evoked by Veteran's Day

Because I live in an area that is a popular retirement destination, the congregation where I minister has many veterans--primarily World War II veterans. These folks (mostly but not all men) are extraordinary people. Now in their 80s they still bear the scars of the war that in many ways shaped their lives. Several served on submarines. One flew in bombers, was shot down and spent many months in a German POW camp. Another survived the Bataan death march. They tell amazing stories--stories of the war, and stories of coming home, rebuilding lives that were interrupted by that war. They exemplify what has come to be called 'the greatest generation."

I have tremendous respect for these veterans. They are to a person active and committed, and have crafted lives that included not only building careers and and raising families but also serving their communities. But I still get uncomfortable when holidays like Veterans Day and Memorial Day roll around. I'm uncomfortable with too much overt patriotism. I don't believe in "my country right or wrong." Hearing the national anthem doesn't bring tears to my eyes. I don't say the pledge of allegiance because I fail to see the flag as something meriting that kind of devotion, and because too often lately it is associated with attitudes and behaviors I object to.

I wrote about my discomfort with our flag-waving tradition in church before. Out of respect for people I regard highly, I don't say anything about it. I just sort of nod and smile when people leaving church comment on how it moved them. Sometimes I wonder just what it is that makes me so--so what?--ambivalent at best and hostile at worst--to something that so many people view so positively. But I just can't buy into patriotism as it's currently construed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was a senior in high school, I won a statewide essay contest sponsored by the VFW. The topic was what it meant to me to be a patriot. I wrote the essay as a class assignment, and promptly forgot about it, so I was surprised to be notified that I had won a prize. And honestly, a little bit embarrassed. Because even then I wasn't a flag-waving patriot. Even then (in the waning years of Vietnam) I had deep reservations about the way this country and it's leaders interacted with the rest of the world and treated its own citizens.

I grew up the child of southern liberal democrats. My parents didn't talk about politics much, but somehow I knew how they felt about things. They were part of the generation that enthusiastically elected JFK, supported civil rights and and thought the war on poverty was a good thing, and I somehow absorbed that. But my junior high and high school years were years of tumult--assassinations (MLK and RFK), riots, increasing discord over Vietnam, Kent State, debates about the draft. My skepticism about unquestioning nationalism developed in the midst of all this. I wrote my senior civics paper on why we shouldn't have draft, and I wanted nothing more than to join the Peace Corps and serve the world, not just the U.S.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ironically perhaps, my high school boyfriend and later husband enlisted in the Navy right after graduation. For the 12 years that we were married, I lived in military communities with people who chose the military as their career, and who were for the most part much more conservative than I, and much more invested in the idea that the United States was without question superior to other countries. To say that there was a certain amount of cognitive dissonance which grew over the years would be an understatement. But I was much quieter then, not so outspoken, and mostly I kept my beliefs to myself.

There were times, though, when I chafed at the attitudes of some of those around me. When I went to Iceland I was frankly taken aback at the attitudes of many of the Americans stationed there. They could not seem to understand why the Icelanders (who were very protective of their culture and their population--understandable given their size) wouldn't think that everything American was superior to anything Icelandic. They saw no reason to explore the country or to learn the language or experience the culture. It was an eye-opening experience for me. I know that I have benefited greatly from being born and raised in this country, and that to a certain degree I owe it my loyalty. But why wouldn't people born and raised other places feel the same way about their own countries? Why should they revere the U.S. above their own homelands? And if I'm lucky enough to be immersed in a different place, why wouldn't I both respect it and learn more about it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a post earlier this week I talked about the tension that sizzled in the air at our diocesan convention when we debated a resolution about the military, particularly about the ethics of recruiting practices in high school. I live in a pretty blue state, but even here the sentiment that it's not okay to criticize the military too much is prevalent. I will not criticize troops fighting in a war they have little control over, but I don't think it is disrespectful of them to question the ethics of our involvement in war or of the tactics employed by the military in war or out of it. When we lose the ability, the right to question and even to be critical, we are in a scary and dangerous place.

And therein lies at least part of my discomfort with patriotism as it seems to be understood these days. It's one thing to be loyal to one's country; it's another thing entirely to accept without question every action of that country, especially when those actions seem to violate the principles on which the country was founded. It's one thing to be grateful for the privileges I've enjoyed simply because I was born in a particular place; it's another to think the accident of my birth gives me any kind of inherent superiority over anyone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't have a copy of that essay I wrote in high school, and I don't remember everything I wrote. I do recall one bit of it. Even then I argued that being a patriot meant more than waving a flag. Being a real patriot meant working to make one's country a better place to live, questioning the status quo, upholding the rights of the disenfranchised. I think that's what the veterans in my parish embody. But I'm afraid that they are literally a dying breed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't think it's wrong to feel pride in one's home, nor to feel loyalty to one's heritage. But I wonder if it's possible for humans to nurture these feelings without them blossoming into the kind of nationalism and ethnocentric thinking that leads to territoriality, racism, war and even genocide? I just don't know.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Saturday

~I got up early this morning to work on my sermon. Normally I plan on having from around 9 to 2 to write it, but I had to be at church at 11 this morning, so I started writing yesterday. I had a sort of rough draft to work with this morning, but I wasn't liking it much, so I rewrote most of it pretty quickly. It was better but still not quite done.

~I had to be at church at 11 to prepare for a funeral. It was a sad funeral--they are all sad on some level, but when a person has lived a long life and died well, it's sad in a different way. Today's funeral was for a man who died too young and in sad circumstances. Makes you think a lot about life. It was a good funeral though--beautiful music--his parents are both musicians and their friends sang--and a feeling of mourning and saying good-bye in a meaningful way.

~After the funeral I went back to finish my sermon, and suddenly it all just came together. Weird how that works sometimes.

~It was a dark and cold and windy day. Feels like winter is coming for sure. Remarkably there are still leaves on some of the trees. It seems like they should all be gone by now--especially after last week's storm.

~NaBloPoMo is sort of dragging along this year...I don't seem to have much to say or when I think of something I don't have time to write it. Maybe we need a few memes or something. Anyway, I'll try to think of something substantive tomorrow. I have two questions to answer--anybody want to ask some more?

Friday, November 09, 2007

Random bits of Friday

~I really need to get my sermon done--or at least mostly done--tonight. I've been working at it all day, but I'm not making any progress. Ack.

~We stopped in Borders for a few minutes tonight, and without thinking about it I wandered into the kids' section and started looking at some of my kids' old favorites. And then I thought--I can start buying kids books again!* I love buying kids' books.
*for my granddaughter-to-be

~But I am not so ready to think about Christmas. And they had (shudder) pink and black Christmas trees in Borders (shudder).

~I have "Tiki-tiki-tembo-no-sa-rembo" stuck in my head. I can never remember the rest of the name, but I must've read that book to the Kid 1000 times at least.

~From now til the first of the year is going to be wicked busy at work. Wicked busy. Somehow I've ended up editing the newsletter and proofreading all the bulletins. And maintaining the web page. And writing pamphlets. None of which are really in my job description. I like doing all those things but they are collectively a major time suck. And then there are the extra Advent and Christmas activities.

~It's starting to be cold. It's time I guess. We've just had such a weird fall that I don't feel ready for cold yet.

~Back to sermon writing now.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Recipe

As promised....

My mother began making this at Christmas time when my kids were little, and it quickly became a family favorite. I'm still using a copy of the recipe written on a piece of notebook paper by NSLS who called Grandma to get it the first Christmas we lived in Vermont because we couldn't have Christmas dinner without pineapple! The original recipe called for only 2 cans of pineapple, but I make it with more.


Baked Pineapple

3 (20 oz) cans chunk pineapple, drained
6 T self-rising flour (I generally don't have self-rising, so I add a pinch of salt and a little bit of baking powder, about 1t I'd guess).
1 cup sugar (I never use a whole cup, more like 3/4)
2 cups shredded cheese (your favorite cheddar--I've also successfully used Cabot's 50% reduced fat or a mix of cheddar and mozzarella)
1 tube Ritz crackers
1 stick of butter, melted

In a 9x13 baking dish mix the pineapple, flour and sugar until well combined. Stir in the cheese. Crush the crackers and mix with the butter; sprinkle evenly over the pineapple mixture. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 30 minutes.

Incredibly easy and really, really good. It's a very forgiving recipe--you can add more pineapple or more cheese to suit your taste.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Word play

If misogyny is hatred of women, why isn't there an equivalent word for hatred of men? Misanthropy doesn't really work because that is hatred of humankind.

When I was in grad school, a classmate and I spent hours and hours trying to find such a word and couldn't. I can think of all sorts of interesting implications of this....what do you think?

ETA: Thanks to random thinker, I have a new word misandry. I've posed this word question at other times and no one has ever come up with this word before. Apparently this word came into usage between 1945 and 1950, while misogyny came into usage in the 1600s. Still interesting...

ETA2: Although I found this word in a couple of on-line dictionaries, it's not in my Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary (10th ed. 1998).

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

On war and peace, sort of

Every year at diocesan convention clergy and lay representatives vote on a number of resolutions. Some of those resolutions deal with the practical workings of the church--budget matters, for example, but others serve (when passed) as mandates calling for action or study on various social issues. This year one such resolution called for the diocese to initiate " a comprehensive analysis and discussion of the current U.S. military system" and a "dialogue and debate about the morality of methods used by military recruiters, especially in impoverished neighborhoods." It also asked that the diocese "consider the moral, ethical, theological, and legal ramifications of Christian involvement in war."

The proposers of this resolution and its supporters spoke movingly of young people known to them who had been killed in the war or who were suffering from PTSD or who had taken their own lives because they couldn't stand the stresses of the military life and war. All of these young people were members of minority groups and were recruited using high pressure tactics in their schools.

I knew that this resolution would provoke a great deal of debate. Even in this very liberal state there exists a wide variety of opinions about the military. Much of the discussion focused on military recruiters in high schools and the way they (seem to) target kids from low-income backgrounds. Two thing about this discussion surprised me. First, several speakers suggested that the best way to keep recruiters out of schools and ensure that the poor were not targeted was to reinstitute the draft. Second, and more surprising, were the youth who argued in favor of having recruiters in the schools and who defended their practices.

Some of these young people had some connection with the military--a parent, a sibling a friend. To a person they defended military recruiters as "no worse" than college recruiters. Perhaps. But my gut response was that these young people lacked the perspective to see how their peers were targeted, to understand the pressures, to appreciate the consequences of joining the military (as opposed to choosing one college over another). But at the same time I realize how paternalistic such response on my part would sound.

Most distressing, I think though, was realizing just how difficult it was to have this conversation, even in its preliminary stages. You could feel prickles of tension in the air--from those who perceive any such discussion as a slur on those who have served in earlier wars and those who serve now, and from those who feel, either because of their own service or that of others or because of deep convictions that our military, our imperialism are in danger of running amok. I am biased, I admit, towards the latter position, So I wonder: How can we come to a place where we can honestly question things like the military without being perceived to be anti-American, dishonorable in some way? More importantly, when will it really sink in that if we don't end war, war will end us?

This resolution was ultimately returned to committee for further consideration. I'll be interested to see if it ever resurfaces.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Storm redux


Leaves were plastered on the windows like this, too. I was afraid the chairs would blow away, but somehow they stayed put.



The big oak tree in my back yard


Another branch of the same tree


Carpet of leaves



My driveway

All of this is very minor compared to some place I've driven by. The road I live on has stretches where it is lined with very large old trees. A few are uprooted in every big storm, and this one was no exception. And sometimes they get hollow and then split open during a storm. It's quite a sight, but it usually also blocks traffic and wreaks havoc on the power lines.

Finally

Our power came back on at 10:10 last night with a welcome burst of light and the sound of the furnace rumbling into action. Thirty-four hours without electricity is plenty long enough to remind me of how dependent I am on the power that runs silently into my house on a fairly constant basis.

After lunch yesterday the Kid went to a friend's house to do homework and watch the football game. I came home and wandered aimlessly around our chilly house for a bit. It was too cold to sit and read and with darkness looming early, I decided to seek warmth and light elsewhere. I spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening at Panera and Borders, drinking coffee, reading blogs, looking a books and magazines. I had reading I could do--I'm in the midst of several books--but I felt unfocused. Normally I enjoy--even seek out--time sitting in coffeeshops reading but yesterday I just wanted to be home with heat and light restored.

When the lights came up, I flipped on the internet to make sure the wireless router was up and running, and them promptly feel asleep on the couch. Two hours later I groggily set all the clocks and took myself off to bed. This morning I've been cleaning up bits of wax and returning candles and flashlights to their drawers for the next storm. I still have to tackle the refrigerator and throw out food that more than likely was warmer than it should have been.

I'm grateful for another sunny day, and for the conveniences I take so for granted.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Convention redux

One of the highlights of diocesan convention was a Mardi Gras themed benefit banquet to raise money for continued relief efforts in New Orleans and Mississippi; another was an unanticipated but delightful blogger meetup with Liane who has an awesome picture of our bishop at that banquet at her place. Check it out.

Stormy weather

For the second year in a row, I've come home from diocesan convention in a storm to a house without power. But it was much worse this year. The remnants of Hurricane Noel, as an "extratropical storm with hurricane force winds," hit our area with a vengeance yesterday. I was in another part of the state most of the day, and had to get home. I was traveling with three others from my church, and we were most worried about the bridge we had to cross to get here, because it can be closed if the winds are too high, but that part went fine. The rest of the way home after the bridge was a bit hair raising though. It was raining quite hard, it was very dark and the wind was ferocious. There were huge puddles and lots of limbs down all over the place, including in my driveway. But thankfully we all made it safely.

According to the Kid, power went out around lunchtime yesterday, and at 1:00 pm today it still isn't on. (I'm posting from our local burrito cafe which has free! wifi!) We had peanut butter crackers for dinner and watched a movie on the laptop last night and then went to bed. I slept more fitfully than usual, waking up to see if the power was on several times. I'm really hoping that it will come back on before dark tonight. As it is I'm afraid everything in the refrigerator and freezer will have to go. I don't keep a lot of food on hand, but there is some fish in the freezer that I can possibly cook tonight if the power is back on.

I'm very grateful that we have a gas hot water heater. Spoiled girl that I am, I would've been less than happy to have to go to work without a hot shower first. We had church in semi-darkness but that actually worked out okay. And in the grand scheme of things, it all could've been much worse. We have a mess in our yard (I'll post pix later) and all over the area, but I haven't heard of any major damage so far.

It's very nice to see the sun shining today!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Wake up call

~6:30 am -- I had just snuggled up to snooze for a few more minutes while my roommate showered when an alarm sounded and a robotic voice began droning, "An emergency has been reported; please use the nearest emergency exit." Great. I pulled on my raincoat and shoes, grabbed my phone and key and headed downstairs.

~Imagine a throng of sleepy Episcopalians--no showers, no coffee, rudely awakened. We were remarkably good natured. Apparently the frenchtoast in the kitchen was burning.

~All back to normal. Time to shower and get ready for the day.

~I would've been in bad shape if it had been a real fire because I neglected to take my computer down with me!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Convention blogging

~I'm at our diocesan convention. It's one of those mixed-blessing kind of things. I like convention--keeping up with what's going on, seeing people, the energy of worshiping together--but this is a big diocese and there are LOTS of people, and long days and it's a bit exhausting for an introvert like me.

~I was sitting behind a young woman priest with a nursing baby--a little girl who looked to me not more than a month or two old and thinking about NSLS's ultrasound today, and not five minutes later my phone buzzed--it was a text from NSLS saying, "It's a girl!"

~So I guess this grandma schitck is getting more real...

~I love wireless access in hotel rooms--maybe I can sneak in watching last night's Gray's Anatomy tonight--usually I watch it on abc.com while I eat lunch on Fridays, but clearly that didn't happen today.

~Tonight there is a banquet and then a full day of meeting tomorrow. As I said earlier, I'm glad we get an extra hour of sleep this weekend.

Pssssst

Hey! It's NSLS's birthday!

I wrote this about her birth last year.

Go wish her a happy day, okay?

Confusion

Because I worked on Monday I took yesterday off. And all day long I thought it was Friday:) Which of course confused the Kid when I kept thinking today was Saturday.

But of course today is Friday and I am off to our annual diocesan convention on the far side of the state. Being even further off my normal routine, I don't know what day I'll think it when I get back Saturday night...but I will be glad that this is the weekend we get an extra hour of sleep.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Boundaries and borders

When I was in the fifth grade we spent a few weeks studying the United Nations. Everyone in the class chose a country to learn about and at the end of our unit we dressed in national costumes and had a big party. We even got our picture in the paper (the clipping is somewhere in a box upstairs).

Ever since then (political realities aside) I've found the notion of truly having a "United Nations" kind of appealing--not so much the organization, but really a world that was united and where nations and boundaries weren't so important, a nation where I could move to another country as easily as I can move to another state. I don't always get the whole nationalism/patriotism/ my-country-is-better-than yours schtick and the posturing that goes with it.

What made me think of all this was thinking while I was showering this morning (as I've said before, I do some of my best thinking in the shower) about Woman Warrior (aka LD#1) and the GS and about the difficulty of their situation. And I was thinking about the absurdity of nations and states and boundaries and borders and passports and visas. And I envisioned a world in which there were no such boundaries, where people could come and go freely, and I thought, why not?

Okay, I know I'm an idealist, and I'm sure that there are a thousand pragmatic reasons why that would be difficult if not impossible. Even as I type this I realize how ridiculous it seems on some levels. People are way too invested in power and control among other things. But just imagine if we could spend our resources on making the world a better place to live--everywhere--instead of arming ourselves to protect against whoever the perceived enemy is--just think what we could do.