Dream a little dream...

The Friday Five from the RGBPs:

1) A dream you remember from childhood

My most vivid memory of a childhood dream is of a bad dream, a nightmare if you will, although I didn't use the term back then. It was a recurring dream, and it involved a giant who was coming to take me away. There were variations on this theme, but usually I was hiding or running away from the giant. What I remember clearly is one such dream in which we were eating dinner and we had Brussels sprouts--cutting them into pieces made so much noise the giant heard us, and I hid under the table. Now why I should remember that I have no idea--and I even like Brussels sprouts. But remember it I do.

2) A recurring or significant dream

I used to have a recurring dream about being pregnant and the baby always stopped moving and I never managed to give birth. I was in my first "mid-life" crisis at the time--getting divorced, dealing with mother issues, having an identity crisis-- and in therapy I worked on that recurring dream a lot. Finally I gave birth and the baby was named Emilee Ann. I believe that dream was about my efforts to give birth to the person I was struggling to become at the time. And you may attach whatever significance you will to the fact that one of those names is my mother's middle name.

Perhaps my most significant dream occurred when I was first feeling called to become a priest. My rector and the bishop were on sabbatical (yes, they were married to each other). I hadn't talked with anyone yet about what I was feeling. On a Saturday night I dreamed about the bishop; she was helping me prepare for a journey and telling me that she would be with me on the journey. The very next day at church there was an announcement that the bishop was going to retire in about 18 months. I had no idea that announcement was coming, and at first it threw me into a bit of a panic, but when I remembered the dream I was suddenly comforted. And even though she did retire, I truly felt her support as I moved through the process towards ordination.

I've only told that dream to a few people....

3) A nightmare

Fortunately I don't have nightmares too often. When I do they usually involve being in some sort of physical danger and feeling paralyzed so that I can't get away, or trying to get ready for something important and never being able to actually get ready.

4) A favorite daydream

I'm not sure I have a favorite daydream. I'm a little bit superstitious about trying to envision how I want things to be, because I'm afraid if I imagine it, it won't ever happen. Yes, silly and perhaps neurotic.

I do have the habit of mentally replaying scenes from the past and reflecting on them....but can't think of a favorite.

5) A dream for the New Year

Peace. A world in which everyone has what they need and no one has too much. Happiness for all my children.

Not going to be too specific here: see #4 above.

End of the year meme: The Year in Review

as seen all over the blogosphere, the first sentence from the first entry for each month of the year:

January Toasting you all with my sparkling blueberry juice and wishing you all a happy, healthy, peaceful New Year!

February Apparently Pauxatawney Phil saw his shadow today, so it's six more weeks of winter....such as winter has been here so far.

March Maine is on the agenda for summer and then I will have the whole east coast...

April Lovely Daughter #1 landed in the United States a few minutes ago, after almsot 14 months in Asia, mostly in South Korea.

May Today was a day off....my days off used to be Thursday and Friday (Saturday and Sunday being clergy work days) but for many reasons, Thursday wasn't working out to be a good day to be off, so now I'm taking Monday and Friday.

June The marsh by the bay...

July Skype--it's very cool.

August It seems that the turtle, she came to lay eggs.

September 1. Driving: an enjoyable way to clear the mind? a means to an end? a chance to be quiet with one's thoughts? a necessary evil? the downfall of our planet and its fossil fuels? Discuss.

October As we pulled into the driveway tonight, I caught sight of a furry critter off to the side, at the edge of the wooded area that separates the driveway from the church.

November Day one of NaBloPoMo during which I have pledged to post every day.

December Since Sunday is the First Sunday in Advent, a FridayFive from the RGBPs:

Random Bullets for Boxing Day

• Christmas was very, very, very busy at chez Rev. Dr. Mom, but really, it was a great holiday! One of the best ever, even. LD#2 and SiL arrived Saturday afternoon, and she and I did a last minute shopping rush. We all went out to dinner and then stocked on groceries for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. At some point the tree, which I had been decorating since Monday, was finished and all the nativities set up. Before I went to bed I worked a bit on my sermon for Christmas Day.
  
• Christmas Eve on a Sunday makes for a very hectic day. Sunday morning was the annual Christmas pageant, which meant a packed church and LOTS of kids. It all went off smoothly (and you can never tell ahead of time how it will go). One of LD#2's high school friends was there with her six-month-old baby. It feels so strange to see these kids I remember as 8th graders playing in the snow, as high school seniors running track and going to prom, now as married women, one with a baby. SiL's parents and sister arrived Sunday afternoon. I was still working on finished one gift project, wrapping, and working on my sermon, but it all worked out.
• I love Christmas Eve services but I wasn't looking forward to them as much this year because the last few weeks I've come home feeling frustrated/angry/unhappy with my boss after every service. But thankfully, the tension was gone on Christmas Eve and everything went well. And there is nothing like "Silent Night" sung by candlelight at midnight to make me feel like it's really Christmas.
• As usual I was up VERY late on Christmas Eve--I only had one present to wrap, but I had to stuff stockings and, ahem....finish my sermon for Christmas morning. So no bed til 2:30 am.
• For the first time in my whole life, we didn't open presents until midday. Everyone went to church at 10 am so it was noon or a bit after before we got to presents and 2pm before we got around to brunch. A truly good time was had by all. The Kid was thrilled with his new video ipod, and I received a print by my favorite Vermont artist, Katherine Monstream. (It's the one called "Point").
  
• We had a roaring fire in the fireplace all weekend--so warm and cozy. We all took naps late afternoon, and then cooked dinner: Ham, scalloped potatoes, green beans with garlic and almonds, salad, baked pineapple and cheese, with an incredible German chocolate cake for dessert. SiL and his parents are all EXCELLENT cooks and everyone contributed to dinner. I do not want to think about the calories I've consumed the last couple of days!
• We opened Christmas crackers at dinner, and we all put on our crowns that were inside. Silly but fun. After dinner we played Apples to Apples, also great fun.
  
• All the company left this morning. It's a gray rainy day, and I'm going to do some laundry and straighten up a bit, and then play with my new computer some more.
• I haven't had much time to play with the new MacBook, but I already heart, heart, heart it. It has a built in camera and mike so when we skyped LD#1 Christmas Eve, she could see us. I walked around carrying the computer and showed her the tree and the decorations. How cool is that?!
• I have a whole week off from work! And I have some new movies to watch, some I've seen before, but one (Little Miss Sunshine) that I haven't seen but that has been highly recommended to me. And I'm going to work on my knitting project that I cast on last weekend. And who knows what else? When you have a whole week stretching out in front of you, the possibilities seem endless!
  
• Happy Christmas/Hanukkah*/Festivus to one and all!
  *yes, I know that Hanukkah ended a couple of days ago...greetings of the season.
  

Woo-hoo!

I am writing this post from my brand new and oh so cute and wonderful MacBook which arrived just a half hour or so ago. When I ordered it on Thursday I had no expectation that it would be here before next week....but here it is!

This is my first Mac and I still have a lot to learn, and software to install as well...and I don't really have time to be playing on the computer today--I still have shopping and wrapping to finish, groceries to buy, and a sermon to write. At least my house is clean--because I had someone come in and clean yesterday.

Okay, I really need to get back on task now....

Holiday Food

Festive Foods Friday Five

1. Favorite cookie/candy/baked good without which, it's just not Christmas.

Honestly, I'm not sure there is one for me right now. Is that blasphemous? Since my kids are (mostly) grown and I don't got to my mother's any more at Christmas, my food rituals have loosened considerably. At one point sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, toll house cookeies and fudge would've been required. At my parents' it was usually pork loin at the main Christmas feast with baked pineapple and cheese, sweet potatoes in some form and green beans the way my grandmother cooked them (with country ham overcooked but yummy). And always lots of desserts: mince pie, pecan pie, rum cake, chocolate mint pound cake, regular pound cake, coconut cake. I've NEVER cooked that much, for better or for worse.

2. Do you do a fancy dinner on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, both, or neither?

I've always tried to keep Christmas Eve simple because Christmas Eve has always included church and stocking hanging and stories and me staying up late late late to wrap gifts. This is even more true now that I have 2-3 services on Christmas Eve. Our CE dinner this year is still under discussion. LD#2 and SiL are mostly in charge of menus.

Our big meal this year will be Christmas Day and will feature ham, baked pineapple and I don't know yet what else. Present will be moi, the Kid, LD#2, SiL, his parents and sister. Menus for Christmas Day have varied over the years at chez Rev. Dr. Mom: often turkey but occasionally salmon.

3. Evaluate one or more of the holiday beverage trifecta: hot chocolate, wassail, egg nog.

I've only had real eggnog once, and now the raw eggs would keep me away. The stuff out of the carton --gah! Wassail???? So I guess it's hot chocolate for me!

4. Candy canes: do you like all the new-fangled flavors or are you a peppermint purist?

I am DEFINITELY a peppermint purist: red and white peppermint stripes defined candy canes!

5. Have you ever actually had figgy pudding? And is it really so good that people will refuse to leave until they are served it?

Never had figgy pudding but I had a classmate in seminary who was a Brit and she claimed that it was in fact that good.

And what about the crown prince of holiday foods--the fruitcake.?

My mother made fruit cake every single year until just recently. She loves it and hers isn't bad; I just don't much care for the candied fruit. My dad also used to buy Claxton fruitcakes from some civic group and they were pretty good--softer and chewier as I recall.

If I were to make a fruitcake I would want to leave out most of the candied stuff and just have lots of dates and raisins and figs and nuts.

Ominous sign?

I've been planning on buying a new laptop for a while....just putting it off to avoid the expense as long as possible. But lately, my laptop has been giving me signs that sooner might be better than later...like this week when J had so much trouble with my wireless signal. This afternoon when I turned the laptop on, this weird pattern of colors flashed across the screen. Now everything is slightly off-color--my face in my avatar is greenish, and there are weird pinks stripes some places. Maybe something needs to be reset.....or maybe this is another sign that it's time to retire this baby.....

Now, however, I'm off to a vestry meeting.

Edited to add: I rebooted last night and it made absolutly no difference, but this morning (Thursday) all looks normal again. Weird.

D'oh!

Remember the wireless router I bought last July? And how I could never get it to work? And how I thought I was using the signal from the library across the street? Well....

While my friends were here this weekend, J (who is brilliant in so many ways and much more savvy when it comes to hardware than I am) offered to check it out for me. After just a couple of minutes she called me over to the computer. "This is your DSL router, right?", she asked. Yes. "Why does it say it's wireless?" she inquired. I dunno. A few more minutes of investigation revealed that I didn't in fact need the Linksys router I bought because my DSL router already transmitted a wireless signal. And the signal from the library? It was from my own computer all along. D'oh! Anyone need a like-new router?

Thanks to J, not only do I know where my wireless signal is coming from now (!) but I can also use it in my kitchen. My house is pretty spread out and the signal didn't make it everywhere. But J installed a signal extender (which because of my aging laptop was MUCH more complicated than it should have been) and I am now sitting at my sunny kitchen table, blogging on my lunch break. Thanks, J!!

The Weekend at Chez Rev. Dr. Mom

It's been a full weekend at chez Rev. Dr. Mom. On Friday I went to City in Nearby Smallest State to attend the ordination of a seminary friend. Ordinations are wonderful events--always full of spirit and joy--and this one was no different. This was the first priestly ordination I've attended since I became a priest myself which meant it was the first time I joined in the laying on of hands. It was an awesome experience to lay hands on S as she became a priest.

And my friends D and J came for the weekend with their three cats and two dogs. I love having all the animals here--they are are relaxed and feel at home here, and they are so cute, each staking out a place to snooze. The dogs love to chase the squirrels in the back yard and the kittens have been exploring all the nooks and crannies of the house. D and J went to nearby city this morning for D to give a talk on her most recent book, while I went to church and led an "instructed Eucharist". This evening we've been blogging and chatting and relaxing. Having them here this weekend has been a wonderful respite from the December rush.

This week will be full of Christmas preparations. For as long as I can remember I've done Christmas prep in the last week before Christmas. Working in the church makes it a bit more difficult--I don't have that end of semester break that I used to have--but I haven't managed to reform my ways yet. The tree is in the stand (thanks to D and J!!) and it will get decorated. A few more presents need to be bought and a few mailed. A sermon for Christmas day must be written, along with articles for the January newsletter. And somehow it will all get done.

So it's not the onions?

and other random bullets...

• So now they're saying it wasn't the green onions that caused the latest outbreak of e. coli, and they may never know what did. Hmmmmmm.

• The Kid has been having a spectacularly bad school week, revolving around an English essay that took, oh, somewhere around 30 hours sitting at the computer staring at the screen before it was finished (and this was a 5 paragraph essay). Makes me want to scream.

• Yesterday as he was trying to finish it up, the powercord to the laptop broke (again!). I refuse to buy another one--it would be the fourth--but the battery is dead, so I'm sort of stuck. Radio Shack ordered a new little plug thingy which I hope will take care of it--$9.99 instead of $79. Else I will be buying myself a new laptop sooner than I planned. What's a little more debt anyway?

• At least he managed to save the paper on his flash drive before the battery on the laptop died so he could work on it on the desktop last night.
  

• But then the power went out. And he went to sleep on the floor waiting for it to come back on. But we were both asleep when it did, so we didn't notice til this morning. And when I woke up, all the clocks were wrong. At least my cell phone had the correct time!
  

• I feel completely swamped with work and Christmas prep and whatnot. Which makes me more prone to slipping into my December funk. Yuck.

• I have bought three presents and a tree (which is in the garage til I have time to put it up). One of those presents needs to be mailed to South Korea.
  

• I was on a great roll posting every day, but as soon as NaBloPoMo ended, I stopped. I guess I need that external pressure to perform. A few extra hours in the day would help, too. I'm just saying.
  

Green onions

According to the New York Times, green onions are the culprit in the latest outbreak of e. coli. I don't eat fast food as a general rule, so I am not missing Chalupa Ding Dong and I'm not usually the paranoid type, but I am increasingly concerned about the safety of our food. And this article points out how easy it is for produce to be contaminated given the highly centralized and mechanized way it is handled these days. Isn't it ironic that the very means that allow us to have such a variety of fruits and vegetables year round also increase the likelihood that those fruits and vegetables might make us sick? Talk about unintended consequences...

I haven't bought bagged spinach since the last e. coli outbreak, but I've still been buying bagged salad. Given the comments of the doctors and health officials quoted in the NYT, I'm wondering if I should give that up, too. And if it's safe to order salad in restaurants.

I already try to avoid imported produce. Looks like a road trip to Whole Foods (where I have greater confidence that the labels on their produce are more likely to be correct than at my local chain grocer and where I would have a few more choices) is going to become a necessity. Then I'll have to feel guilty about driving so far to shop. It really feels like you can't win at this point.

Outside my window

I'm sitting at my desk in my office, and outside my window a few....a very few...snow flakes are falling. I love snow flurries. I love snow. When I first moved to Vermont (where there are more snow flurries than here) I used to sit in my office and watch them fall, and it was always soothing.

Somehow that makes December feel better. I'm just saying.

Bill Moyers on War and the Military

The Sol Feinstone Lecture on The Meaning of Freedom was delivered by Bill Moyers at the United States Military Academy at West Point on November 15, 2006. This excerpt, while lengthy, is worth the read.

Moyers locates his comments on the war in Iraq in the broader history of the Amercian military and its wars since its beginnings in the American revolution. In that context, he is unflinching in his critique of Bush, his decision to go to war in Iraq, and his prosecution of that war. He lists ways that the President has violated his duty to the troops of which he is Commander in Chief.

"Most dangerously to our moral honor and to your own welfare in the event of capture, he has likewise ordered the armed forces to violate clear mandates of the Uniform Code of Military Justice and the Geneva Conventions by claiming a right to interpret them at his pleasure, so as to allow indefinite and secret detentions and torture. These claims contravene a basic principle usually made clear to recruits from their first day in service—that they may not obey an unlawful order. The President is attempting to have them violate that longstanding rule by personal definitions of what the law says and means.

There is yet another way the chickenhawks are failing you. In the October issue of the magazine of the California Nurses Association, you can read a long report on “The Battle at Home.” In veterans’ hospitals across the country—and in a growing number of ill-prepared, under-funded psych and primary care clinics as well—the report says that nurses “have witnessed the guilt, rage, emotional numbness, and tormented flashbacks of GIs just back from Iraq.” Yet “a returning vet must wait an average of 165 days for a VA decision on initial disability benefits,” and an appeal can take up to three years. Just in the first quarter of this year, the VA treated 20,638 Iraq veterans for post-traumatic stress disorder, and faces a backlog of 400,000 cases. This is reprehensible." (This failure to provide adequate access to mental health care for veterans was the subject of an NPR report this afternoon. It is a real tragic failure).

Among other advice to future military leaders, Moyers says, "don’t let your natural and commendable loyalty to comrades-in-arms lead you into thinking that criticism of the mission you are on spells lack of patriotism. Not every politician who flatters you is your ally. Not every one who believes that war is the wrong choice to some problems is your enemy. Blind faith in bad leadership is not patriotism. In the words of G.K. Chesterton: “To say my country right or wrong is something no patriot would utter except in dire circumstance; it is like saying my mother drunk or sober.” Patriotism means insisting on our political leaders being sober, strong, and certain about what they are doing when they put you in harm’s way."

Back in time?

Monday the Supreme Court will hear two cases that test the constitutionality of school integration. This feels to me like going backward in time.

I wish I could believe that schools would remain racially and ethnically diverse without any kind of intervention on the part of school boards, but sadly, I don't. And I fear a world that is becoming more polarized, more divided, more compartmentalized. Perhaps I am being overly alarmist, but I am worried about what a Supreme Court newly filled with Bush appointees is going to do with this.
And perhaps I am naive, but there are some issues I didn't expect to have to revisit. School integration is one of them.

A day in the life...

• I just looked back in my archives to this time last year and found a post about 'life in the rectory' in which I lamented the frequent interruptions of my days off....funny about that because it had tapered off, but started up again this week. Could I come unlock the church for this or that group? Could they use my garage for preparing greens for the Christmas fair? Could people park in my driveway? Etc..... I really don't mind any of this but I wish people could plan ahead instead of ringing my doorbell at indecently early hours on my day off yesterday and again today.

• Today was my church's annual holiday extravaganza--crafts, wreathes, baked goods, very nice lunch, LOTS of people. Given my grinchly state of mind, not where I would have chosen to be, but I put on the happy face anyway.

• I do like looking at all the crafts. Some of them are more kitschy or "cute" than my taste runs, but there were some beautiful knitted things. I bought a bag made from felted Icelandic wool. Very nice.

• Besides helping at the extravaganza I felt like I spent much of the day putting out the metaphorical fires--one snafu after the other when it came to preparing the church for Advent. All worked out eventually but it took a lot of running around. The director of the altar guild is in the hospital and her absence leaves a huge vacuum to be filled.

• It scares me a bit that I'm the most computer savvy person on our staff. So I was called on to fix a computer snafu, too. Unsuccessful at that one, I'm afraid. The real computer tech will have to be called on Monday.
  

• Came home midafternoon to prepare for tomorrow's forum and got very sleepy. Managed to get it done, but then dozed off for a bit. At least it's not my week to preach.
  

• I can't believe it's only three weeks before Christmas. I am so not into the whole shopping/cooking/decorating frenzy. But I should think about Christmas presents and buying a tree while there are still some to be had, I guess.

• I had a case of what B* called grumps yesterday. Honestly I don't want to spend the whole month of December complaining and in a bad mood, but I woke up yesterday and as soon as I realized it was December 1, it descended on me. But I am better today, even if it isn't so apparent in this post.

• My house needs cleaning SOOOO badly. Yuck. I am missing the domestic goddess genes, that is for sure.
  

Adventfully Yours

Since Sunday is the First Sunday in Advent, a FridayFive from the RGBPs:

1) Do you observe Advent in your church?

Of course!

2) How about at home?

Of course!

I remember celebrating Advent ever since I was a very small child, before it was common to see Advent stuff all over the place. We had a wreath, but I'm not sure we used purple candles until much later, and we never had a pink one. I think we used all white candles

3) Do you have a favorite Advent text or hymn?

Long time favorite: O Come O Come Emmanuel, with different verses for the different Sundays in Advent.

New favorite: Comfort, Comfort ye My People

4) Why is one of the candles in the Advent wreath pink? (truth or ficition)

Because Mary wanted a girl.

Honestly, I know about "Gaudette Sunday" now, but it is not something I grew up with. And I use four blue candles in my wreath at home (liking Sarum blue better than purple).

5) What's the funniest/kitschiest Advent calendar you've ever seen?

I'm totally boring and I'm not sure I've ever seen a really funny one. But I collect Advent calendars, something I started quite unintentionally when the Kid was little. I bought one that has tiny books you take out each day. And you can put them back in and use them again next year...and the next. That one had the Christmas story, and then I found one with A Christmas Carol.

I also have two that are so beautiful that I just push the little doors shut and use them again--or at least display them again. One is an icon of Mary and the other is nativity by an artist whose name escapes me at the moment.

Last year at the church rummage sale I bought a small quilt that looks to me like it was meant to be an Advent calendar, and if I get my act together (who knows if I will?!) I am going to sew a small ring on each number and use some of my (too many for one tree) Christmas ornaments on it.

And this year I bought a sort of kitschy one I guess; it's a quilted globe and each day you velcro on a little doll representing a child from different places.

When I unpack my stuff, I may even find one I've forgotten about.