~Well, sort of.
~When I walked out of the office at 6 pm my vacation officially started. Hurrah!
~But my to-do list is still not teh-done...
~Some of it will just have to wait. A couple of things I will do here and email to the parish administrator. And one very large (and very annoying) project I will sneak into the office and work on clandestinely. Because I promised someone I'd try to get it done. Ack.
~Meanwhile car must be worked on before we leave town in a week, and the house is a pit because I've been too tired to do anything to it the last 10 days or so. Such is life.
~But tomorrow I'm sleeping in. And then I may go to the movies. Or something...
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
One more day...
until my vacation officially starts. Unfortunately, my to-do list is no where near done. Gah. I brought some work home to do tonight, but I haven't touched it yet. Double gah.
At this point all I want to do on vacation is find a comfy chair and recline in it. Maybe with a nice iced latte...
At this point all I want to do on vacation is find a comfy chair and recline in it. Maybe with a nice iced latte...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Looking to the future...
In a comment to my last post, Susan asked why it's time for me to think about where my next place might be--am I supposed to move every x number of years? I started to answer in a comment, but it was getting pretty long, so I decided my answer deserved a post of its own.
The short answer is no and yes. In the Episcopal Church priests do not (under most conditions) have a fixed tenure in a parish. Rectors (head pastors) can and do stay for many years. Assistants (which is what I am) may have a time-certain end point (often two years when it is expected that the assistant will be a new seminary graduate). In my case, because the Kid was starting high school my first year here, the understanding was that I would be here for four years with the option of staying longer if all were agreeable. I've been here three years, the Kid will graduate from high school next June, and so the time has come to think about what's next.
On some level staying here would be okay. I love the work that I do, and the congregation I serve and the feedback I get indicates that they like me. In many ways being an assistant suits me. But the truth is, I think it really is time for me to move on. It's no secret to long time readers that geographically, where I am now has presented some challenges. It is a beautiful place, no doubt about it, much sought out as a retirement and vacation location, but I have found it a bit isolating, and I miss the city, or a more city-like setting. But far more important are things more directly related to work. There is the possibility (now being said aloud although it's been lurking for a while) that because of budgetary constraints, my position won't be fully funded after I leave. I think that is a really bad thing for lots of reasons, but it doesn't directly affect me except that to the extent that if it becomes a reality they will be ready for me to leave sooner rather than later.
Even more than that, however is the reality that I don't have a great working relationship with my boss. I would love, love to blog about all the reasons why, but I'm not comfortable doing so, on the off chance that someone in my parish or who knows my parish finds me here. Suffice it to say that on the surface everything looks congenial, and we manage to get a lot done. But there is a great deal of underlying tension. I'm more open about its existence, but I think it is very real on both side--in other words, it's not just me and my insecurity talking. I've heard enough comments from other sources to validate many of my perceptions. My boss never had an assistant before, and while I know he likes and takes advantage of having someone to share the work load, he is far less comfortable with the notion of any kind of shared authority. From my side of things, there has never been any question of who is in charge in my mind, but I get the feeling that as I do more and my competency increases, he feels threatened on some level. And that doesn't make for a good working environment.
Finally, I need to consider whether I want to lead a parish on my own. I think that I do, and since I'm no spring chicken, having come to this career later in life, I need to move on that. So now is the time to start thinking about it. I won't be going anywhere any time soon, because as many of you know, these things take time. But this time next year, I hope I'll know more about where this is all leading.
The short answer is no and yes. In the Episcopal Church priests do not (under most conditions) have a fixed tenure in a parish. Rectors (head pastors) can and do stay for many years. Assistants (which is what I am) may have a time-certain end point (often two years when it is expected that the assistant will be a new seminary graduate). In my case, because the Kid was starting high school my first year here, the understanding was that I would be here for four years with the option of staying longer if all were agreeable. I've been here three years, the Kid will graduate from high school next June, and so the time has come to think about what's next.
On some level staying here would be okay. I love the work that I do, and the congregation I serve and the feedback I get indicates that they like me. In many ways being an assistant suits me. But the truth is, I think it really is time for me to move on. It's no secret to long time readers that geographically, where I am now has presented some challenges. It is a beautiful place, no doubt about it, much sought out as a retirement and vacation location, but I have found it a bit isolating, and I miss the city, or a more city-like setting. But far more important are things more directly related to work. There is the possibility (now being said aloud although it's been lurking for a while) that because of budgetary constraints, my position won't be fully funded after I leave. I think that is a really bad thing for lots of reasons, but it doesn't directly affect me except that to the extent that if it becomes a reality they will be ready for me to leave sooner rather than later.
Even more than that, however is the reality that I don't have a great working relationship with my boss. I would love, love to blog about all the reasons why, but I'm not comfortable doing so, on the off chance that someone in my parish or who knows my parish finds me here. Suffice it to say that on the surface everything looks congenial, and we manage to get a lot done. But there is a great deal of underlying tension. I'm more open about its existence, but I think it is very real on both side--in other words, it's not just me and my insecurity talking. I've heard enough comments from other sources to validate many of my perceptions. My boss never had an assistant before, and while I know he likes and takes advantage of having someone to share the work load, he is far less comfortable with the notion of any kind of shared authority. From my side of things, there has never been any question of who is in charge in my mind, but I get the feeling that as I do more and my competency increases, he feels threatened on some level. And that doesn't make for a good working environment.
Finally, I need to consider whether I want to lead a parish on my own. I think that I do, and since I'm no spring chicken, having come to this career later in life, I need to move on that. So now is the time to start thinking about it. I won't be going anywhere any time soon, because as many of you know, these things take time. But this time next year, I hope I'll know more about where this is all leading.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sunday night rambling
~Today was a good day at church. Preaching went well, liturgy went well, things just felt right. I have a fan club of sorts, the "little old ladies" who have taken my under their wings and cheer me on. They are actually a great bunch of women--the youngest is 80 and the oldest is 92, and they go out for brunch every Sunday after church, go to the symphony, do various volunteer jobs. It's hard not to come away smiling after spending time with them. Attendance was low today, but the ladies were there in full force.
~After three years here, it seems like I've come to a new level of belongingness (is that a word?) The congregation feels like "my" people. It's always been a friendly congregation, but I feel much more integrated into the parish, and I know not just names and faces but also foibles and likes and dislikes and so forth. I know about family and friends and worries and cares and joys. The irony, of course, is that now that I am in that kind of comfortable relationship with folks, it's time to start thinking about where the next place for me might be.
~After three years here, it seems like I've come to a new level of belongingness (is that a word?) The congregation feels like "my" people. It's always been a friendly congregation, but I feel much more integrated into the parish, and I know not just names and faces but also foibles and likes and dislikes and so forth. I know about family and friends and worries and cares and joys. The irony, of course, is that now that I am in that kind of comfortable relationship with folks, it's time to start thinking about where the next place for me might be.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
The other thing I'm psyched about
(besides vacation!)
I have a coach! A clergy coach! And I am thrilled.
My boss made it pretty clear that he didn't want to have to do a lot of mentoring when he hired me. And we have enough differences in temperament and work style that it wouldn't have a great fit anyway. And although the diocese gives newly ordained clergy mentors, mine really didn't work out. And all my attempts to develop a support system have gone bust for a variety of reasons.
But there is a retired priest in our parish who does clergy coaching. He's really good, and he's unofficially been offering me lots of support for the last 6-8 months. And he offered to coach me for a vastly reduced fee. I alreadly know we work well together. So when I get back from vacation I'll have regular monthly coaching sessions, and he'll be "on-call" for me when I need to talk something over. I am so grateful to have this opportunity. Too much of what I have learned here has been couched in the negative (like, "I know I don't want to do it THAT way.") I want to focus on strengths for a change, on learning to be more effective as a preacher and as a pastor. I want to be ready for the next thing, whatever it may be.
I have a coach! A clergy coach! And I am thrilled.
My boss made it pretty clear that he didn't want to have to do a lot of mentoring when he hired me. And we have enough differences in temperament and work style that it wouldn't have a great fit anyway. And although the diocese gives newly ordained clergy mentors, mine really didn't work out. And all my attempts to develop a support system have gone bust for a variety of reasons.
But there is a retired priest in our parish who does clergy coaching. He's really good, and he's unofficially been offering me lots of support for the last 6-8 months. And he offered to coach me for a vastly reduced fee. I alreadly know we work well together. So when I get back from vacation I'll have regular monthly coaching sessions, and he'll be "on-call" for me when I need to talk something over. I am so grateful to have this opportunity. Too much of what I have learned here has been couched in the negative (like, "I know I don't want to do it THAT way.") I want to focus on strengths for a change, on learning to be more effective as a preacher and as a pastor. I want to be ready for the next thing, whatever it may be.
Countdown to vacation~redux
~Days to vacation--5!
~Funerals--three done, no more planned (for now, please God.)
~Sermons--all written and mostly preached
~Meetings--all done (as far as I know now)
~So if I am really lucky this week will be all about pastoral calls and finishing up all the office stuff--of which there is still a mountain (pretty much everything that was on my first list is still there, plus more that resulted from this week's meetings).
~I'm really tired. As in I came home and took a nap before I even ate dinner tonight. Part of is is that I still stay up way too late every night. And part of it is that work has been just nonstop. lately. Even so, I've liked being on my own while the boss is on vacation.
~Funerals--three done, no more planned (for now, please God.)
~Sermons--all written and mostly preached
~Meetings--all done (as far as I know now)
~So if I am really lucky this week will be all about pastoral calls and finishing up all the office stuff--of which there is still a mountain (pretty much everything that was on my first list is still there, plus more that resulted from this week's meetings).
~I'm really tired. As in I came home and took a nap before I even ate dinner tonight. Part of is is that I still stay up way too late every night. And part of it is that work has been just nonstop. lately. Even so, I've liked being on my own while the boss is on vacation.
Friday, July 25, 2008
90th Birthday Bash
~This evening I went to the 90th birthday party of one of my parishioners. B is a gracious lady with a patrician accent from an old family in Nearby City. She is both grand and unpretentious, and is one of the best read people I know, still devouring books voraciously and a master at crossword puzzles. She summered here as a child, and she and her late husband retired here some years ago. Her older sister lives nearby, and they are quite a pair. Her younger sister (younger at 88!) was also there.
~As if the party weren't grand enough, one of the first people I encountered upon arrival was B's brother-in-law (married to the younger sister) who happens to be something of a hero for me. I guess he is my generation's Dr. Sears. When my children were young I read Dr. Brazelton's column in Redbook magazine every month, and later in grad school and beyond I became familiar with his research and heard him speak. He, too, recently turned 90 but looks wonderful and is a warm and genial person.
~I'm not much of a party person, and I don't mingle well, but I really enjoyed this party and actually knew quite a few of the people there. So often here I feel like an outsider at social events, but this time was different. It was a nice feeling.
~As if the party weren't grand enough, one of the first people I encountered upon arrival was B's brother-in-law (married to the younger sister) who happens to be something of a hero for me. I guess he is my generation's Dr. Sears. When my children were young I read Dr. Brazelton's column in Redbook magazine every month, and later in grad school and beyond I became familiar with his research and heard him speak. He, too, recently turned 90 but looks wonderful and is a warm and genial person.
~I'm not much of a party person, and I don't mingle well, but I really enjoyed this party and actually knew quite a few of the people there. So often here I feel like an outsider at social events, but this time was different. It was a nice feeling.
Friday Five~Can't leave home without it
From the RGBPs: What are five things you can't leave home without?
1. My computer--need to read blogs, need to write blogs, need to read the comics and the NY Times, need Google. As my vacation posts from last summer noted, high speed internet access is also essential :)
2. My cell phone--how else can we keep up with each other? I was slow to get on the cell phone bandwagon, but now I don't leave home without it. And since I got my Crackberry I can check email, too.
3. My camera--although I've done miserably with my photoblog this summer, (or perhaps BECAUSE of that) I intend to take many pictures. And have done so on every trip in recent memory. I try not leave home even locally without my camera (though I'm not so good at it these days).
4. Some books--whether I get around to reading them or not, must take them with me. This year it will likely be work-related books, but I have stacks of them I want to get read, so that's okay.
5. My hair dryer--okay, I'm vain. I need to blow-dry my hair every day. And since I'm admitting my vanity, I need a touch of mascara and lipstick every day, too. And sunscreen. Now you know the ugly truth :)
I'll be packing and heading out two weeks from today, and I can't wait!
1. My computer--need to read blogs, need to write blogs, need to read the comics and the NY Times, need Google. As my vacation posts from last summer noted, high speed internet access is also essential :)
2. My cell phone--how else can we keep up with each other? I was slow to get on the cell phone bandwagon, but now I don't leave home without it. And since I got my Crackberry I can check email, too.
3. My camera--although I've done miserably with my photoblog this summer, (or perhaps BECAUSE of that) I intend to take many pictures. And have done so on every trip in recent memory. I try not leave home even locally without my camera (though I'm not so good at it these days).
4. Some books--whether I get around to reading them or not, must take them with me. This year it will likely be work-related books, but I have stacks of them I want to get read, so that's okay.
5. My hair dryer--okay, I'm vain. I need to blow-dry my hair every day. And since I'm admitting my vanity, I need a touch of mascara and lipstick every day, too. And sunscreen. Now you know the ugly truth :)
I'll be packing and heading out two weeks from today, and I can't wait!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Bishops doing good
Picture© Lambeth ConferenceMuch of the news coming out of the Lambeth Conference, the once-every-ten-years gathering of the bishops of the Anglican Communion, is of controversy, and most of that controversy is over matters of sexuality. But today the bishops did something unprecedented and marched through London in support of the Millennium Development Goals. You can read more about it here and here.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Random bits of Wednesday
~Two funerals, one funeral homily and a regular Wednesday service today. The second funeral was a large one, and it was for the person who took charge of making the rectory a nice place to live before and after I moved in. I never imagined that three years later I would be burying him. It was one of those very sad but very right feeling funerals, if you know what I mean.
~Somehow it turned out to be my week to contribute to breakfast tomorrow for a church group that meets every Thursday morning. So I came home and baked mini corn muffins and blueberry strusel. I didn't have to bake but I couldn't find anything very appealing at the grocery store--whatever happened to Pepperidge Farm? There was none to be had. I don't generally buy breakfast pastry stuff and I was surprised by how poor the selection was.
~It is hot and muggy again. Really muggy.
~My plumbing is getting fixed while I am on vacation. To the tune of many thousands of dollars. Whew. There apparently was a choice between trying to do just a little work and hope it lasted a few years and doing it right and happily they've chosen to do it right. And there's a possibility that there's a leak from the tub upstairs that is contributing to the mildew on the walls and ceiling problem--if that is helped it will be really great.
~It's thundering. I hope we have a big, cooling storm.
~Quote for today: This is what we mean by friends: even when they are absent, they are with us; even when they lack some things, they have an abundance of others; even when they are weak, they are strong, and, harder still, even when they are dead, they are alive. ~Cicero
~I found that quote quite by accident the other day, and I used it in my homily today--even if it might seem strange to use Cicero in a homily, it really fit.
~Yay, it's raining and there is a wonderful cool breeze. I hope tomorrow is less muggy.
~Somehow it turned out to be my week to contribute to breakfast tomorrow for a church group that meets every Thursday morning. So I came home and baked mini corn muffins and blueberry strusel. I didn't have to bake but I couldn't find anything very appealing at the grocery store--whatever happened to Pepperidge Farm? There was none to be had. I don't generally buy breakfast pastry stuff and I was surprised by how poor the selection was.
~It is hot and muggy again. Really muggy.
~My plumbing is getting fixed while I am on vacation. To the tune of many thousands of dollars. Whew. There apparently was a choice between trying to do just a little work and hope it lasted a few years and doing it right and happily they've chosen to do it right. And there's a possibility that there's a leak from the tub upstairs that is contributing to the mildew on the walls and ceiling problem--if that is helped it will be really great.
~It's thundering. I hope we have a big, cooling storm.
~Quote for today: This is what we mean by friends: even when they are absent, they are with us; even when they lack some things, they have an abundance of others; even when they are weak, they are strong, and, harder still, even when they are dead, they are alive. ~Cicero
~I found that quote quite by accident the other day, and I used it in my homily today--even if it might seem strange to use Cicero in a homily, it really fit.
~Yay, it's raining and there is a wonderful cool breeze. I hope tomorrow is less muggy.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Countdown to vacation
~Days til my vacation starts: 9
~Funerals to preside at before vacation: 3 (so far)
~Sermons to write: 3 (2 funeral homilies and a sermon for Saturday/Sunday)
~Meetings to attend: at least 2 official and 2 informal 1-to-1
~Parish directories to assemble: 1
~Fall newsletters to set up: 1
~Pastoral calls to make: umpteen
~Letters to write canceling fall retreat: 1 + fielding comments from the disappointed
~Mentors to recruit for youth group: 3 (lotsa luck on that one since 12 people or so have already said no)
~Prayers of the people to write: 6 (this week's and the whole month of August, and no, we don't just take them out of the prayerbook)
~Other things I've forgotten: Who knows?
~Funerals to preside at before vacation: 3 (so far)
~Sermons to write: 3 (2 funeral homilies and a sermon for Saturday/Sunday)
~Meetings to attend: at least 2 official and 2 informal 1-to-1
~Parish directories to assemble: 1
~Fall newsletters to set up: 1
~Pastoral calls to make: umpteen
~Letters to write canceling fall retreat: 1 + fielding comments from the disappointed
~Mentors to recruit for youth group: 3 (lotsa luck on that one since 12 people or so have already said no)
~Prayers of the people to write: 6 (this week's and the whole month of August, and no, we don't just take them out of the prayerbook)
~Other things I've forgotten: Who knows?
Monday, July 21, 2008
New floors...
~but no plumbing!
~Last week the old floor was ripped out of two bathrooms and lovely new tile installed. But when the plumber came to reinstall the toilets, he was a bit aghast at what he found. Seems like 70+ year old lead pipes are not easy to reseal toilets on. So we are in a holding pattern while they figure out how extensive the plumbing repairs will have to be. And since they weren't included in the budget it will be painful.
~Thankfully I'm not the one who's paying. One of the many reasons I don't mind not owning my own house at this point.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The view from the pulpit
~where I preached tonight. Not the greatest picture, but hopefully you get the idea!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Too tired for words
~and because I've become one of those people (you know, a shameless grandmother) you get this.
Friday, July 18, 2008
A rose by any other name...
..or what's in a name? A Friday Five from the RGBPs
1. So how did you come up with your blogging name? And/or the name of your blog?
As I've written here before I started back to college to earn my BS when my kids were 3, 5, & 8. A couple of years later when it was clear that I would be going on to earn a PhD we began to joke that when I graduated they would have to call me "Dr. Mom"--somewhere I have a cute drawing that Woman Warrior made about that time with the title "Dr. Mom" on it. Of course, they never did call me that, although some of NSLS's high school friends did call me "Doc".
One time when NSLS and Woman Warrior came to visit while I was in seminary, they got to joking again about what they'd have to call me when I was ordained. (and it got a little crazy including titles I'll never have): Mother Mother, Mother Mom, the very reverend doctor mother, and so forth. Out of that conversation "Rev. Dr. Mom" was born. I wasn't blogging yet, but when I started reading and commenting on blogs it became a useful nom de plume. So some months later when I actually started my blog there were people in the bloggy community who "knew me" by that name. And you know, it kind of fits.
2. Are there any code names or secret identities in your blog? Any stories there?
All my children have blog names, although the ones I came up with were not all that creative. My daughters started out as Lovely Daughter #1 and Lovely Daughter #2, but when they began blogging themselves and their blogging worlds began to overlap with mine I began to use their self-chosen names: Woman Warrior and Not So Little Sister. The Kid is that because, like the Princess, he decided that the name I first gave him (Sk8ter Boy) no longer fit when he gave up skateboarding and I never came up with a new one. And Elder Son who doesn't show up here much--well, it's kind of obvious.
3. What are some blog titles that you just love? For their cleverness, drama, or sheer, crazy fun?
My daughters' blog titles are far more creative than my own: Living next to the axis of evil ain't so bad (so named while WW was living in S. Korea) and Confessions of the not so little sister (currently on hiatus). the caffeinated priest and i are a writer make me smile, but perhaps that's because knowing their authors (both seminary classmates) makes the titles more meaningful.
Although jo(e)'s blog title is rather subdued, she certainly wins the award for coming up with the most creative names for people and places in her blog.
4. What three blogs are you devoted to? Other than the RevGalBlogPals of course!
I read and enjoy many blogs each day, and I am hesitant to name just three. But I will say that I really really really miss Phantom Scribbler.
5. Who introduced you to the world of blogging and why?
I have been on Anglican related email lists for about 10 years now. During my last year in seminary someone on one of those lists who was quite controversial and with whom I engaged in a great deal of verbal sparring attacked what someone else had written on her (the other person's) blog about her experience in CPE (clinical pastoral education). I had recently completed CPE myself and I went over and read this blog so that I could engage in that particular conversation. And I found myself going back because this blogger (who as far as I know no longer has a blog) who was a seminarian like me wrote really thoughtful, interesting stuff about faith and life. And then I started following links from her blogroll. And following more random links I found myself in this wonderful blogging community where academics, moms and clergy (mostly but not exclusively women) hung out. I read blogs for 6 months or so before I started my own, almost three years ago.
Bonus question: Have you ever met any of your blogging friends? Where are some of the places you've met these fun folks?
I've met several bloggy friends, mostly in NYC--some at my seminary and some elsewhere. I met one blogger randomly at a diocesan event--recognizing her first name and noting the kind of books she was looking at, I (uncharacteristically for me) said to her, "I'm Rev. Dr. Mom" and she laughed. Of course I could've made a fool of myself if she hadn't been who I thought she was!
There are several folks (besides my daughters) on my blog roll who I knew before they or I had blogs...it's fun to run across them online. And there are MANY other bloggers I would love to meet.
1. So how did you come up with your blogging name? And/or the name of your blog?
As I've written here before I started back to college to earn my BS when my kids were 3, 5, & 8. A couple of years later when it was clear that I would be going on to earn a PhD we began to joke that when I graduated they would have to call me "Dr. Mom"--somewhere I have a cute drawing that Woman Warrior made about that time with the title "Dr. Mom" on it. Of course, they never did call me that, although some of NSLS's high school friends did call me "Doc".
One time when NSLS and Woman Warrior came to visit while I was in seminary, they got to joking again about what they'd have to call me when I was ordained. (and it got a little crazy including titles I'll never have): Mother Mother, Mother Mom, the very reverend doctor mother, and so forth. Out of that conversation "Rev. Dr. Mom" was born. I wasn't blogging yet, but when I started reading and commenting on blogs it became a useful nom de plume. So some months later when I actually started my blog there were people in the bloggy community who "knew me" by that name. And you know, it kind of fits.
2. Are there any code names or secret identities in your blog? Any stories there?
All my children have blog names, although the ones I came up with were not all that creative. My daughters started out as Lovely Daughter #1 and Lovely Daughter #2, but when they began blogging themselves and their blogging worlds began to overlap with mine I began to use their self-chosen names: Woman Warrior and Not So Little Sister. The Kid is that because, like the Princess, he decided that the name I first gave him (Sk8ter Boy) no longer fit when he gave up skateboarding and I never came up with a new one. And Elder Son who doesn't show up here much--well, it's kind of obvious.
3. What are some blog titles that you just love? For their cleverness, drama, or sheer, crazy fun?
My daughters' blog titles are far more creative than my own: Living next to the axis of evil ain't so bad (so named while WW was living in S. Korea) and Confessions of the not so little sister (currently on hiatus). the caffeinated priest and i are a writer make me smile, but perhaps that's because knowing their authors (both seminary classmates) makes the titles more meaningful.
Although jo(e)'s blog title is rather subdued, she certainly wins the award for coming up with the most creative names for people and places in her blog.
4. What three blogs are you devoted to? Other than the RevGalBlogPals of course!
I read and enjoy many blogs each day, and I am hesitant to name just three. But I will say that I really really really miss Phantom Scribbler.
5. Who introduced you to the world of blogging and why?
I have been on Anglican related email lists for about 10 years now. During my last year in seminary someone on one of those lists who was quite controversial and with whom I engaged in a great deal of verbal sparring attacked what someone else had written on her (the other person's) blog about her experience in CPE (clinical pastoral education). I had recently completed CPE myself and I went over and read this blog so that I could engage in that particular conversation. And I found myself going back because this blogger (who as far as I know no longer has a blog) who was a seminarian like me wrote really thoughtful, interesting stuff about faith and life. And then I started following links from her blogroll. And following more random links I found myself in this wonderful blogging community where academics, moms and clergy (mostly but not exclusively women) hung out. I read blogs for 6 months or so before I started my own, almost three years ago.
Bonus question: Have you ever met any of your blogging friends? Where are some of the places you've met these fun folks?
I've met several bloggy friends, mostly in NYC--some at my seminary and some elsewhere. I met one blogger randomly at a diocesan event--recognizing her first name and noting the kind of books she was looking at, I (uncharacteristically for me) said to her, "I'm Rev. Dr. Mom" and she laughed. Of course I could've made a fool of myself if she hadn't been who I thought she was!
There are several folks (besides my daughters) on my blog roll who I knew before they or I had blogs...it's fun to run across them online. And there are MANY other bloggers I would love to meet.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Baby redux
~After a lovely visit, NSLS and Baby J headed back home this morning. Luckily Baby J seems content in her carseat most of the time and is a good traveler. And her amma is grateful for getting in some good baby-holding time.
~Last night, baby in tow, we went to see Indigo Girls. NSLS is a long time fan, and I like their music although I'd never seen them perform. It was a small venue (because I live in a small place) and it wasn't full, but it was still a good crowd who seemed to enjoy the show. Baby J, cotton in her ears, most reacted to the applause and shouting, but fell asleep for most of the time we were there. I haven't been to a concert in I don't know how long, and it was fun. People watching was fun, too, especially seeing women older than I really getting into the music. Baby J of course won't remember her first concert, but it will be a story to tell.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Yes, it was another early day
~but the construction workers did arrive, and all the old flooring is gone. Tomorrow the tile guys come to put in new flooring and by Friday it will be all finished up.
~NSLS and Baby J arrived yesterday afternoon for a visit and there has been much baby-holding and picture taking; unfortunately I haven't yet downloaded those pictures. She is really cute. Really really cute. Pictures forthcoming.
~For the last few days the house has been swarming with carpenter ants--gah! Work has been going on outside the house, too--rotten trim being replaced mostly--and I wonder if that stirred the ants up and drove them inside. An exterminator has been duly called but won't be here until nex week. I hope I have more staying power than than the ants do!
~NSLS and Baby J arrived yesterday afternoon for a visit and there has been much baby-holding and picture taking; unfortunately I haven't yet downloaded those pictures. She is really cute. Really really cute. Pictures forthcoming.
~For the last few days the house has been swarming with carpenter ants--gah! Work has been going on outside the house, too--rotten trim being replaced mostly--and I wonder if that stirred the ants up and drove them inside. An exterminator has been duly called but won't be here until nex week. I hope I have more staying power than than the ants do!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Early day
~It's just a little after 8 am, and I'm showered, dressed, fed and just started my second load of laundry--all on my day off. For years and years I got up at 5:45 every day to get kids ready for day care or school and get myself where I needed to be on time--which usually meant no later than 8:30 if not earlier. But the last couple of years I've gotten into the habit of sleeping later--I get up early when I have to be at work early (usually 3 days a week) and I get up to make sure the Kid gets ready for the bus, (but this year I've been going back to sleep after he leaves)--but otherwise I sleep til 8 or 8:30 and then on my days off I laze around before showering and getting ready for the day.
~Truth is, though, once I get out of bed, I like the early mornings. I like the freshness of the air, and this time of year there is usually a pleasant breeze. I like hearing the birdsong, and seeing the daylilies raise their blooms to the sun. And I like getting things done and out of the way. Perhaps I should start getting up early more often.
~The reason I got up so early today: to greet the workers who are supposed to tear out the flooring in two of the rectory bathrooms, which requires asbestos removal. Said workers, however, are not yet here. Huh. They promised that this would be a one day job, but their late arrival doesn't bode well for that, I think.
ETA: 11:40 am and they still aren't here. Doesn' look like it's going to happen today.
~Truth is, though, once I get out of bed, I like the early mornings. I like the freshness of the air, and this time of year there is usually a pleasant breeze. I like hearing the birdsong, and seeing the daylilies raise their blooms to the sun. And I like getting things done and out of the way. Perhaps I should start getting up early more often.
~The reason I got up so early today: to greet the workers who are supposed to tear out the flooring in two of the rectory bathrooms, which requires asbestos removal. Said workers, however, are not yet here. Huh. They promised that this would be a one day job, but their late arrival doesn't bode well for that, I think.
ETA: 11:40 am and they still aren't here. Doesn' look like it's going to happen today.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Grace
~Every once in a while I get this flash of feeling that I am doing exactly what I am called to do. Today was one of those times. As I concluded the service with a blessing, it struck me how extraordinarily lucky I was to be able to be doing this amazing and sacred thing. And then I got to go hang out at the parish cookout with some great folks and come home and take a nice long nap.
~Such moments of grace are fleeting, but they are what makes it possible to get through those times when I wonder, "What in the h@ll was I thinking?"
~Such moments of grace are fleeting, but they are what makes it possible to get through those times when I wonder, "What in the h@ll was I thinking?"
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Random bits of a busy Saturday
~I multi-tasked today. Started the day by getting up early to write my sermon. Went down to church around noon for a funeral and lunch for homeless people we host once a quarter. Came home to finish the sermon around 2, and back to church at 4 to get ready for the 5:00 service.
~The woman I buried today was 103. Actually, she is the second centenarian whose funeral I've presided at this summer. Amazing.
~I marvel when I read about other clergy who do normal things on Saturday--you know, like farmer's markets and picnics and shopping. I do occasionally have Saturdays off, but nonetheless I think I've forgotten what 'normal' Saturdays are like
~That is not a total complaint--I have no desire to return to the kind of Saturdays I had when I was teaching and I felt like I had to get all the cleaning/shopping/laundry done the same day. Nope, don't miss that. (Note that I rarely actually DID get it all done the same day).
~Tomorrow I think I shall take a long clergy Sunday nap. I'm just saying.
~The woman I buried today was 103. Actually, she is the second centenarian whose funeral I've presided at this summer. Amazing.
~I marvel when I read about other clergy who do normal things on Saturday--you know, like farmer's markets and picnics and shopping. I do occasionally have Saturdays off, but nonetheless I think I've forgotten what 'normal' Saturdays are like
~That is not a total complaint--I have no desire to return to the kind of Saturdays I had when I was teaching and I felt like I had to get all the cleaning/shopping/laundry done the same day. Nope, don't miss that. (Note that I rarely actually DID get it all done the same day).
~Tomorrow I think I shall take a long clergy Sunday nap. I'm just saying.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Friday Five~Summer camp
1. Did you go to sleep away camp, or day camp, as a child? Wish you could? Or sometimes wish you hadn't?
~Never went as a child or teen but always wanted to. The one summer my mother had signed me up for church camp we ended up moving so I couldn't go.
2. How about camping out? Dream vacation, nightmare, or somewhere in between?
~My experiences with camping out are limited to one summer in Iceland. Lots of people camp there --or at least they did 30 years ago--and there were campgrounds all over. We had never been camping but we could rent camping gear so we went first on a weekend trip to Thingvellir, the site of the original Icelandic Parliament (circa 960 or something like that). It's a beautiful site, but it was a cold and rainy weekend and we went home early. Later that summer we took a week long camping trip to northern Iceland which I wrote about here . Although it was a wonderful trip in many ways, I think I decided then that camping outside might not be for me.
3. Have you ever worked as a camp counselor, or been to a camp for your denomination for either work or pleasure?
For three summers I was part of the volunteer staff for our diocesan camp in Vermont for a week. The camp there is a wonderful place--I can't say enough good things about it--and I loved doing it. Volunteer staff were in charge of the morning program--the thematic activities--while the counselors did everything else, so I mostly had afternoons free and two of those summers the Kid was one of the campers so I was truly on my own. Very relaxing to be able to do that. I'd love to be on staff at camp for a week now, but the way vacations fall I can't do it unless I use vacation time (and as much as I love it, I'm not using vacation time to do it).
Those same three summers the Kid and I went to "family camp"--a week at the end of the summer for families of all sorts which were great fun.
4. Most dramatic memory of camp, or camping out?
I'm not sure that I have memories that classify as "dramatic." Two of the summers I went to camp in Vermont I was in the discernment process for priesthood. The camp there is very much "holy ground" to me--a thin space--and I found a great deal of peace there, sitting by the lake, at the outdoor chapel (where NSLS later was married) and in the small chapel looking over the lake. It was a good place for me to be in those times and moving--but not necessarily dramatic
5. What is your favorite camp song or songs? Bonus points if you link to a recording or video.
There is a wonderful song stuck in the back of my head that I can't quite retrieve so until I do, I'll just give you this old camp favorite:
~Never went as a child or teen but always wanted to. The one summer my mother had signed me up for church camp we ended up moving so I couldn't go.
2. How about camping out? Dream vacation, nightmare, or somewhere in between?
~My experiences with camping out are limited to one summer in Iceland. Lots of people camp there --or at least they did 30 years ago--and there were campgrounds all over. We had never been camping but we could rent camping gear so we went first on a weekend trip to Thingvellir, the site of the original Icelandic Parliament (circa 960 or something like that). It's a beautiful site, but it was a cold and rainy weekend and we went home early. Later that summer we took a week long camping trip to northern Iceland which I wrote about here . Although it was a wonderful trip in many ways, I think I decided then that camping outside might not be for me.
3. Have you ever worked as a camp counselor, or been to a camp for your denomination for either work or pleasure?
For three summers I was part of the volunteer staff for our diocesan camp in Vermont for a week. The camp there is a wonderful place--I can't say enough good things about it--and I loved doing it. Volunteer staff were in charge of the morning program--the thematic activities--while the counselors did everything else, so I mostly had afternoons free and two of those summers the Kid was one of the campers so I was truly on my own. Very relaxing to be able to do that. I'd love to be on staff at camp for a week now, but the way vacations fall I can't do it unless I use vacation time (and as much as I love it, I'm not using vacation time to do it).
Those same three summers the Kid and I went to "family camp"--a week at the end of the summer for families of all sorts which were great fun.
4. Most dramatic memory of camp, or camping out?
I'm not sure that I have memories that classify as "dramatic." Two of the summers I went to camp in Vermont I was in the discernment process for priesthood. The camp there is very much "holy ground" to me--a thin space--and I found a great deal of peace there, sitting by the lake, at the outdoor chapel (where NSLS later was married) and in the small chapel looking over the lake. It was a good place for me to be in those times and moving--but not necessarily dramatic
5. What is your favorite camp song or songs? Bonus points if you link to a recording or video.
There is a wonderful song stuck in the back of my head that I can't quite retrieve so until I do, I'll just give you this old camp favorite:
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Where's a good meme when you need it?
~I haven't seen too many memes around lately--I could use one on a night like tonight. I'm wicked tired; it was another one of those wearing days. And tomorrow I need to work on my sermon (contrary to my custom) since I have a funeral and an outreach activity to attend to on Saturday.
~Some of my feelings about issues at work were validated today from a source that was unexpected. But oddly enough, it didn't make me feel better. Maybe because if someone else sees these things I can't just rationalize them away.
~It was a really beautiful day today--clear and bright and much less humid. Summer as it outght to be.
~Some of my feelings about issues at work were validated today from a source that was unexpected. But oddly enough, it didn't make me feel better. Maybe because if someone else sees these things I can't just rationalize them away.
~It was a really beautiful day today--clear and bright and much less humid. Summer as it outght to be.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
I do those things I do not want to do
and I do not do those things I want to do. Or something like that...that's the beginning of the reading from Romans for last Sunday. I don't know why I'm quoting it (I really am not a fan of Paul, and have some difficulty with that passage) except that it popped into my head when I looked at the clock and realized how late it is and I haven't done the work I brought home to do tonight. Ack. I guess, though, it would be more accurate to say "I do those things I want to do and I do not do those things I ought to be doing" because at night I play on Facebook and read blogs and take naps instead of working.
Last week I said I felt like I was swimming in molasses, and one person said in the comments that it sounded sticky! And you know that is how it felt--and still feels to a certain extent. I just don't seem to be accomplishing much--I feel stuck. I keep diddling around the edges of some big projects I need to handle and not even getting much done around those edges, even though I feel busy all the time.
I've always viewed summer as a time to slow down a bit, to catch up. It was that way when I was a student and when I was teaching. And theoretically at least that's how it is now--the boss is away, there are very few meetings, things are quieter. But I have too much to do. And perhaps I'm resisting on some level.
And I know I'm avoiding two tasks because I don't know how I'm going to pull them off. I'm about to conclude that one of them is going to have to be canceled--and I hate that because it feels like giving up, and it's something I did very successfully the last two years. But this year it just doesn't seem to be coming together for reasons that are completely out of my control. At any rate, I have to make a decision about it soon.
Now I should go to bed and avoid the other thing I've been doing--taking a nap and then staying up waaaaay too late so I'm tired in the morning.
Last week I said I felt like I was swimming in molasses, and one person said in the comments that it sounded sticky! And you know that is how it felt--and still feels to a certain extent. I just don't seem to be accomplishing much--I feel stuck. I keep diddling around the edges of some big projects I need to handle and not even getting much done around those edges, even though I feel busy all the time.
I've always viewed summer as a time to slow down a bit, to catch up. It was that way when I was a student and when I was teaching. And theoretically at least that's how it is now--the boss is away, there are very few meetings, things are quieter. But I have too much to do. And perhaps I'm resisting on some level.
And I know I'm avoiding two tasks because I don't know how I'm going to pull them off. I'm about to conclude that one of them is going to have to be canceled--and I hate that because it feels like giving up, and it's something I did very successfully the last two years. But this year it just doesn't seem to be coming together for reasons that are completely out of my control. At any rate, I have to make a decision about it soon.
Now I should go to bed and avoid the other thing I've been doing--taking a nap and then staying up waaaaay too late so I'm tired in the morning.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Of guests and quiet times
~As much as I enjoyed my guests (who left this morning), I'm also enjoying a very quiet night tonight. Having extroverted house guests can be exhausting!
~ My next guests will be NSLS and Baby J who are coming next week--I haven't seen Baby J in two months, and I'm really excited that they are coming. And while they are here, we're going to a concert.
~And since I haven't posted a baby picture in a while, I'll share this one...
~ My next guests will be NSLS and Baby J who are coming next week--I haven't seen Baby J in two months, and I'm really excited that they are coming. And while they are here, we're going to a concert.
~And since I haven't posted a baby picture in a while, I'll share this one...
Monday, July 07, 2008
Church geekiness
~A couple of friends from my field placement church in NYC are here for a couple of days. It's been fun catching up. But the level of church geekiness has been high, very high. Not since seminary have my conversations been so filled with talk of the 39 articles, proper vestments, liturgical styles, incense, pastoral dilemmas, and the like--and maybe not even then. I'm just saying.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Thankgiving is not just for November
~Things I'm thankful for, as seen at Songbird's place
~Fresh summer fruits and veggies
~Friends who care enough to check up on you
~Birdsong in the air as I awaken
~A good night's sleep
~Opportunities, often unexpected
~Fresh summer fruits and veggies
~Friends who care enough to check up on you
~Birdsong in the air as I awaken
~A good night's sleep
~Opportunities, often unexpected
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Random bits of a damp Saturday
~I spent almost all day birthing a sermon...some weeks it's just harder than others, and this was one of them. Sometimes it surprises me--this was a week I thought would be easier, until I sat down to start writing. But it's written now, preached once, revised and put to bed. Whew...
~It's damp here. Really damp. As in if you spill some water, it never evaporates, the floor feels damp under your feet, the sheets feel clammy. It did rain for a while but mostly it's damp.
~Speaking of rain, I'm not sure if the local fireworks are rained out or not. I didn't even think about going, mostly because I have to pick up the Kid from work probably about the time they would be finishing up.
~Despite my worry that the grackles would drive the orioles away, the orioles seem to have managed to raise a bumper crop of offspring. At least I'm assuming that all the pale looking orioles clustering around the jelly feeder the last couple of days are juveniles who've just learned how to feed themselves.
~It turns out that all the other birds like grape jelly, too. I go through a LOT of jelly.
~I have made it through half the year blogging every single day. It's clear to me that I don't have interesting things to say every day--things that are bloggable at any rate, but it has become a discipline. And it makes me think. I'd like to hope that it will help me become a better writer, but I'm not sure how that will work out. The experiment continues--as does the photoblog which I am trying to catch up on.
~It's damp here. Really damp. As in if you spill some water, it never evaporates, the floor feels damp under your feet, the sheets feel clammy. It did rain for a while but mostly it's damp.
~Speaking of rain, I'm not sure if the local fireworks are rained out or not. I didn't even think about going, mostly because I have to pick up the Kid from work probably about the time they would be finishing up.
~Despite my worry that the grackles would drive the orioles away, the orioles seem to have managed to raise a bumper crop of offspring. At least I'm assuming that all the pale looking orioles clustering around the jelly feeder the last couple of days are juveniles who've just learned how to feed themselves.
~It turns out that all the other birds like grape jelly, too. I go through a LOT of jelly.
~I have made it through half the year blogging every single day. It's clear to me that I don't have interesting things to say every day--things that are bloggable at any rate, but it has become a discipline. And it makes me think. I'd like to hope that it will help me become a better writer, but I'm not sure how that will work out. The experiment continues--as does the photoblog which I am trying to catch up on.
Friday, July 04, 2008
Friday Five~Fireworks edition
1. Barbeques or picnics ( or are they essentially the same thing?)Barbeque is a type of food (you know, meat with some kind of sauce--and I know lots of people who would debate on the CORRECT meat and the CORRECT sauce--but maybe that's a southern thing. When I ate meat I was in the 'pulled pork with a vinegar based sauce' camp). Eating barbeque may involve cooking out, but often it means going to a bbq joint-- one of those out of the way places that specializes in barbeque, cole slaw and maybe corn on the cob, with lots of iced tea.
Picnic is an activity :) When I was a kid and my family went on a picnic it was a Big Deal--fried chicken, potato salad, deviled eggs, and some kind of homemade dessert were always on the menu. It was a lot of work for my mother. For me, it would more likely be sandwiches, chips and drinks all hurriedly assembled. Picnics shouldn't be too much work.
Either one would be appropriate for July 4th.
2. The park/ the lake/ the beach or staying at home simply being?
Today I'm just staying home, doing my regular day off stuff. Some of my favorite 4ths were spent at the beach when my kids were little. I'm not much for big patriotic displays, so just being is okay with me.
3. Fireworks- love 'em or hate 'em?
I love fireworks displays--the bigger the better. I especially love them over the lake in Vermont. But one of my fondest fireworks memories is not of July 4th but rather the displays set off on New Year's Eve in Iceland when I lived there.
Fireworks in my area are actually tomorrow night--don't know if I'll get to see them or not.
I don't really like fireworks that people set off on their own. It's illegal here, but down south there were big fireworks stores all over the place, and firecrackers and what not would be going off all night long, making it hard for children and dogs to sleep. Not so fun. To say nothing of dangerous.
4. Parades- have you ever taken part- share a memory...
I have a vague memory of going to a big parade when I was 10 or 11 but I don't think I was actually in it. And that may be the only Fourth of July parade I've ever been to.
5. Time for a musical interlude- if you could sum up holidays in a piece of music what would it be?
The 1812 Overture.
~Pix from my archives~~July 2006
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Swimming in molasses
~That's the best metaphor I can come up with for what work has been like this week. I'm just saying.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
On NOT being a social worker
~You know what's one of the hardest parts of ministry? It's not sermons, not liturgy, not hospital visits or even funerals. For me at least it's trying to help people who come in off the streets looking for assistance--for food, gas, a place to stay. I have all sorts of sympathy and very few resources to draw on.
~I may be a sucker, but I really do want to help people out. I've been scolded by some of the office staff for being too generous--but I just can't operate from the same hermeneutic of suspicion they do. I'd rather err on the side of being taken in than on the chance of denying help to someone who really needs it.
~The truth is, however, that there is not much I can do. I have a very small discretionary fund, and I supplement that with whatever honorariums I get from funerals or weddings--although my boss does most of those. And the social services in my area are meager so there are limited places to refer people to. I can offer people limited help with food, but there isn't much else I can do.
~Before I went to seminary I was part of a group that pooled resources from a number of area churches so that we could offer more extensive help to people in need, but there doesn't seem to be anything like that around here.
~Where I live poverty tends to be hidden, but it is definitely here. Why in a country with as many resources as ours are there so many people in such need?
~I may be a sucker, but I really do want to help people out. I've been scolded by some of the office staff for being too generous--but I just can't operate from the same hermeneutic of suspicion they do. I'd rather err on the side of being taken in than on the chance of denying help to someone who really needs it.
~The truth is, however, that there is not much I can do. I have a very small discretionary fund, and I supplement that with whatever honorariums I get from funerals or weddings--although my boss does most of those. And the social services in my area are meager so there are limited places to refer people to. I can offer people limited help with food, but there isn't much else I can do.
~Before I went to seminary I was part of a group that pooled resources from a number of area churches so that we could offer more extensive help to people in need, but there doesn't seem to be anything like that around here.
~Where I live poverty tends to be hidden, but it is definitely here. Why in a country with as many resources as ours are there so many people in such need?
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Just out of reach
~When I write--whether it is here, or a sermon, or a piece for the newsletter--it often feels like what I want to say is just out of reach. The words I come up with almost express what's inside, but not quite. And I wonder if I started over or tried harder or .... I don't know what, I'd be able to say it better. Yet just as often, especially in my preaching, the words I choose express something, speak in a way that I didn't realize was there; else in their hearing they are transformed somehow and take on that meaning.
~I feel the same way about things I'd like to achieve--not personal goals as much as things I'd like to help make happen at church these days. They're feel just out of reach so that if I could just get this or that piece to fall into place it might work but there's not enough time or energy or resources to get those pieces to move. I wonder if what I end up with--less than what I dream of or yearn for--will still speak to those who need it, or want it, or just happen to be there? I wonder if their presence will be what it takes to transform it into something more?
~I feel the same way about things I'd like to achieve--not personal goals as much as things I'd like to help make happen at church these days. They're feel just out of reach so that if I could just get this or that piece to fall into place it might work but there's not enough time or energy or resources to get those pieces to move. I wonder if what I end up with--less than what I dream of or yearn for--will still speak to those who need it, or want it, or just happen to be there? I wonder if their presence will be what it takes to transform it into something more?
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