~Mostly because I've been too busy to write, or even keep up with reading.
~We've had a spate of funerals. The usual bunch of meetings plus end-of-the-program-year programs and lunches and the like. Liturgies to be planned. A new newsletter format to work out. All the normal stuff and then some.
~And because I don't want this place to turn into a constant stream of whining about my mother--which resulted in two posts being started and discarded after further reflection. Suffice it to say that all conversations about her up-coming move have been true to form. And I even got to talk to my sister last week. (Phantom, perhaps you can appreciate how much fun THAT was).
~I did have a lovely overnight visit from my friends D and J who brought their furry family (two dogs, three cats) to stay with us while they visit family in the UK. And now I am walking the dogs three times a day, which is really good for me. Plus I really enjoy having the animals here.
~The dogs love to chase the squirrels in the backyard, but I never thought they would actually catch one. But today they did! Eeek! Not sure what to do, I yelled at them and they let go of the squirrel which ran (or tried to run) up the tree. I fear it was mortally wounded, but I really really didn't want to watch them finish it off. And is eating raw squirrel good for dogs anyway?
~Yeah, I know--the natural order of things and all that. I heard that from the Kid, too. But still.....eeewww.
~The raccoons totally wrecked one of my top-of-the-line squirrel-proof birdfeeders last night. I cannot figure out how they did it--the chain and hook which held it are still in place as is the baffle that makes it impossible to get it on or off the hook without two human sized hands. I don't think I want to let the dogs tangle with the raccoons around here.
~I live in a beach town. I don't think I've ever said that directly, but if you've looked closely at some of my pictures it's been pretty obvious. I live in the old historic part, not the really touristy part, but there has still been a marked increase in traffic the last few days since "the season" starts this weekend, and we've had the weather to match it. Last year it was cold and rainy for Memorial Day weekend, but this year, it actually feels like it could be summer. Too soon to say if it will last, though.
~And now it is time to walk the doggies one last time tonight.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Mom stuff*
~The Kid has been taking AP World History (referred to as 'whap') this year, along with his closest friends. Today was their AP exam. The Kid loves history, and quite out of character for him, went to every single review session for this exam. I picked him and his friends up after the exam and they all agreed it was "awesome". An awesome exam? Who are these kids?
~It was interesting listening them talk about the topics covered on the exam. World History is certainly a different class than it was back in my high school years; thankfully it is far less Eurocentric and "great person" oriented now.
~Their discussion shifted to cars about half way home--they are teen aged boys, after all. Speed and performance were of course part of the discussion, but so was impact on the environment and comparison of various hybrids with all electric cars. Gives one hope.
~I've never thought of myself as a 'cool' mama; I'm not young and hip and fashionable, nor am I all that fun. But I've learned that I've earned a modicum of coolness among the Kid's friends because I 1) have a MacBook; 2) know how to text with my cell phone; and 3) have a blog. Who knew I was so cool?
*as opposed to Mother stuff
~It was interesting listening them talk about the topics covered on the exam. World History is certainly a different class than it was back in my high school years; thankfully it is far less Eurocentric and "great person" oriented now.
~Their discussion shifted to cars about half way home--they are teen aged boys, after all. Speed and performance were of course part of the discussion, but so was impact on the environment and comparison of various hybrids with all electric cars. Gives one hope.
~I've never thought of myself as a 'cool' mama; I'm not young and hip and fashionable, nor am I all that fun. But I've learned that I've earned a modicum of coolness among the Kid's friends because I 1) have a MacBook; 2) know how to text with my cell phone; and 3) have a blog. Who knew I was so cool?
*as opposed to Mother stuff
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Mother stuff
Maybe it was just a coincidence that it was two days before Mother's Day when my mother called me. My mother has called me maybe two times in the last 18 months, and I'm not sure what to expect when she does, so when I saw her number on the caller id I immediately had a sinking feeling--which is sad, actually. She had news-- she is moving into a retirement home in the city where my sister lives in a few weeks--not quite a nursing home yet because she will have a studio apartment, but a nursing home is part of the complex. I'd heard rumors that this might be coming from Elder Son, so I wasn't totally surprised. My mother is almost 80, and she has osteoporosis and arthritis and heart problems, and getting around was getting to be a problem for her. She's been alone in a big house since my dad died five years ago, probably longer than she should have been.
Those of you who have been reading here for a while may recall that my mother and I have a difficult relationship. I haven't had a real conversation with her since Christmas of 2005 (a call chronicled here)--I call her on her birthday and holidays, but we don't really have a conversation because there are very few things we can talk about without her getting upset with me. So it's mostly a "how are you?" kind of conversation and she never wants to stay on the phone long.
Today was no different. She wanted to tell me she was moving and to tell me that if I wanted anything from the house I should let her know. I know this is a loaded conversation because she has brought it up before. I mentioned one or two things I'd like, and predictably she had reasons why that might not be okay. And then she had to go.
Even in a brief conversation, the subtext is always there. I haven't been part of the conversations my sister and brother have been having about my mother's future because I'm not involved, and I'm not involved because I'm the bad daughter, the one who lives far away and doesn't stay in touch, the one who is selfish and who is too liberal and not a caring person. I get it. The message hasn't changed much over the last 10-15 years. And I'm willing to accept responsibility for some of it. I don't go back to visit. I don't call often. I don't because it's too painful--for both of us. I spent years of my life trying to please my mother and although there were a few years when I thought we could get along fairly well, I know that I will never please her.
It makes me sad. It makes me sad, but I don't know how to fix it. Being around her, or evem talking with her on phone is like navigating a minefield--one misstep and there's a huge blowup but there are no signs to help you avoid that misstep.
As for my mother's things--truly, there are a few things that I would like to have, and that she's told me over the years that would be mine--my grandmother's silver, my mother's wedding china, a quilt that she made. It's not really about the stuff, though--I have plenty of stuff. It's about the connections, the attachment, the family ties. It's about being part of something bigger than just me. It would mean something to me to have something of my mother's, something of her mother's. But I honestly don't know if I can jump through all the hoops, navigate through that minefield, or if I should even try.
Maybe it was just coincidence that she called when she did. But our conversation was the lens through which I saw Mother's Day this year. And it was definitely out of focus.
Those of you who have been reading here for a while may recall that my mother and I have a difficult relationship. I haven't had a real conversation with her since Christmas of 2005 (a call chronicled here)--I call her on her birthday and holidays, but we don't really have a conversation because there are very few things we can talk about without her getting upset with me. So it's mostly a "how are you?" kind of conversation and she never wants to stay on the phone long.
Today was no different. She wanted to tell me she was moving and to tell me that if I wanted anything from the house I should let her know. I know this is a loaded conversation because she has brought it up before. I mentioned one or two things I'd like, and predictably she had reasons why that might not be okay. And then she had to go.
Even in a brief conversation, the subtext is always there. I haven't been part of the conversations my sister and brother have been having about my mother's future because I'm not involved, and I'm not involved because I'm the bad daughter, the one who lives far away and doesn't stay in touch, the one who is selfish and who is too liberal and not a caring person. I get it. The message hasn't changed much over the last 10-15 years. And I'm willing to accept responsibility for some of it. I don't go back to visit. I don't call often. I don't because it's too painful--for both of us. I spent years of my life trying to please my mother and although there were a few years when I thought we could get along fairly well, I know that I will never please her.
It makes me sad. It makes me sad, but I don't know how to fix it. Being around her, or evem talking with her on phone is like navigating a minefield--one misstep and there's a huge blowup but there are no signs to help you avoid that misstep.
As for my mother's things--truly, there are a few things that I would like to have, and that she's told me over the years that would be mine--my grandmother's silver, my mother's wedding china, a quilt that she made. It's not really about the stuff, though--I have plenty of stuff. It's about the connections, the attachment, the family ties. It's about being part of something bigger than just me. It would mean something to me to have something of my mother's, something of her mother's. But I honestly don't know if I can jump through all the hoops, navigate through that minefield, or if I should even try.
Maybe it was just coincidence that she called when she did. But our conversation was the lens through which I saw Mother's Day this year. And it was definitely out of focus.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Orioles
When I was little, I spent a great deal of time with my grandmother. She was teh original fun granny, letting us do many things my mother would never have allowed: ice cream for breakfast, "science" experiments mixing up whatever we could find in the kitchen, lots of messy crafts. We did lots of paint-by-number projects with my grandmother; most of them were regular pictures, but one summer she had bird figurines for us to paint, and mine was a Baltimore oriole. It was much more difficult to paint than my sister's robin, and it was very messy. But because I had never actually seen an oriole, it seemed very exotic to me.
Fast forward many years to last summer. I had been paying attention to the birds in my yard for almost a year and had become acquainted with finches and woodpeckers and nut hatches and flickers, all new to me, but I still had never seen an oriole. I knew from my bird book that they did live in my area during the summer so I set up an oriole feeder (they like oranges and grape jelly especially) and waited. Within a few days I noticed bright flashes of orange as birds flew by--orioles! But for some reason they were only here for a couple of weeks.
This spring I moved the oriole feeder closer to the house. Orioles are supposed to arrive around May 1, and it was only a few days after that when I saw my first glimpse. I've had my camera at the ready, but the orioles (and the humming birds) have been amazingly elusive--by the time I get the camera on and aimed they are generally gone. Yesterday while I was writing my sermon I kept the camera right beside me and turned on, and I was rewarded with these:
I don't know if it's because of the link to my grandmother, or because they seem more rare, or because of their bright colors, but the orioles make me especially happy.
Fast forward many years to last summer. I had been paying attention to the birds in my yard for almost a year and had become acquainted with finches and woodpeckers and nut hatches and flickers, all new to me, but I still had never seen an oriole. I knew from my bird book that they did live in my area during the summer so I set up an oriole feeder (they like oranges and grape jelly especially) and waited. Within a few days I noticed bright flashes of orange as birds flew by--orioles! But for some reason they were only here for a couple of weeks.
This spring I moved the oriole feeder closer to the house. Orioles are supposed to arrive around May 1, and it was only a few days after that when I saw my first glimpse. I've had my camera at the ready, but the orioles (and the humming birds) have been amazingly elusive--by the time I get the camera on and aimed they are generally gone. Yesterday while I was writing my sermon I kept the camera right beside me and turned on, and I was rewarded with these:
I don't know if it's because of the link to my grandmother, or because they seem more rare, or because of their bright colors, but the orioles make me especially happy.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Twenty years ago
this past Thursday I graduated from college.
In the grand scheme of things, 20 year anniversaries of college graduations are not all that noteworthy. For me, however, graduating from college was a significant milestone, coming as it did 16 years after I graduated from high school.
I've told bits and pieces of my college story here before, I think, but never the whole story of how I went back to school. I always expected to go to college, although I had no idea of what I wanted to do or be when I grew up, and no one ever encouraged me to think of being anything other than a wife and mother--if anything, my mother and my sister always pointed out why I couldn't possibly do anything I considered. (As an aside, I did very well in high school, and later I spent several years angry and resentful because NO ONE--not my parents, not my teachers, not my guidance counselors--encouraged me to apply for scholarships or to think about career possibilities, but I finally got over it). At any rate, mostly for financial reasons I went to the local state college for a year after graduation while my high school boyfriend went through Navy boot camp and training in electronics. I loved my classes, but I was horribly lonely because not only was my boyfriend gone, but all but one of my friends had gone away to school, and the friend who didn't go got married instead. Since I lived at home instead of on campus I never felt like I was part of college life.
At any rate, the high school bf and I married a year after graduation and I dropped out of school. Since he was in the Navy we moved around a couple of times before ending up in Iceland where Elder Son was born. By the time I turned 30 we were living in the south and I had two more babies, LD#1 and LD#2. As much as I loved having babies, it was a challenging time. TFoMC was serving on a submarine by that time, so I was a solo mom for three months at at time (three months at sea followed by three months at home, such was the life of a submariner).
Around the time I turned 30 I began to be depressed. I wasn't happy and I didn't know what to do. I remember vividly waking up on my 30th birthday and crying because I didn't know what to do with my life. I'd always wanted to go back to school, but it seemed impossible. Until I read in the paper about scholarships the local college offered for people who wanted to go back to school. The scholarship would pay for one class, as much to build confidence as anything else. So without telling anyone I applied and received one, and found a friend from church who would babysit while I went to class.
I was so excited, but my husband was furious that I had done this without telling him. Nonetheless I registered for a class, and nervously went back to school. And LOVED it. Seriously loved it, and did well. The next semester I took out a loan and took two classes, and decided that I wanted to go full time the next year, which created more friction in my marriage. To be completely honest, there were other problems as well--we'd married too young and now I was changing and he was away a lot and it was hard.
I started classes full time the next fall, and that same fall TFoMC and I separated--yeah, now I was a full time student AND a full time single mother. My mother tried to convince me that I couldn't keep going to school, but honestly what were the alternatives? I couldn't have gotten a decent job with no degree and no experience. So I took out more loans and got some scholarships and went to school and worked very hard to be both student and mother. I made friends. I found mentors who encouraged me to think about grad school. I did well. And I graduated right on time, twenty years ago with a 4.0 gpa.
Somewhere I have a video of graduation. Graduation was outside under the big live oaks in front of the oldest building on campus. We wore white dresses--yes very old fashioned, but kind of fun--and the guys wore tuxes. My kids (ages 6, 9, and 12) were in the front row with my parents and my mil (who remained my friend). I got a standing ovation when it was my turn to get my diploma and the President announced that I was "first honor graduate" and in the video you can hear my kids yelling. It was awesome.
Going back to school was for me about so much more than just getting a degree--it was about finding myself, facing my identity crisis and reclaiming my self-confidence, something I had lost somewhere along the line. In some ways, I guess these are things most college students do, but maybe I appreciate the significance of what I did more because of when I did it. I went on to grad school, taught for a while, and then went to seminary--but even with all that I can hardly believe that 20 years have gone by.
In the grand scheme of things, 20 year anniversaries of college graduations are not all that noteworthy. For me, however, graduating from college was a significant milestone, coming as it did 16 years after I graduated from high school.
I've told bits and pieces of my college story here before, I think, but never the whole story of how I went back to school. I always expected to go to college, although I had no idea of what I wanted to do or be when I grew up, and no one ever encouraged me to think of being anything other than a wife and mother--if anything, my mother and my sister always pointed out why I couldn't possibly do anything I considered. (As an aside, I did very well in high school, and later I spent several years angry and resentful because NO ONE--not my parents, not my teachers, not my guidance counselors--encouraged me to apply for scholarships or to think about career possibilities, but I finally got over it). At any rate, mostly for financial reasons I went to the local state college for a year after graduation while my high school boyfriend went through Navy boot camp and training in electronics. I loved my classes, but I was horribly lonely because not only was my boyfriend gone, but all but one of my friends had gone away to school, and the friend who didn't go got married instead. Since I lived at home instead of on campus I never felt like I was part of college life.
At any rate, the high school bf and I married a year after graduation and I dropped out of school. Since he was in the Navy we moved around a couple of times before ending up in Iceland where Elder Son was born. By the time I turned 30 we were living in the south and I had two more babies, LD#1 and LD#2. As much as I loved having babies, it was a challenging time. TFoMC was serving on a submarine by that time, so I was a solo mom for three months at at time (three months at sea followed by three months at home, such was the life of a submariner).
Around the time I turned 30 I began to be depressed. I wasn't happy and I didn't know what to do. I remember vividly waking up on my 30th birthday and crying because I didn't know what to do with my life. I'd always wanted to go back to school, but it seemed impossible. Until I read in the paper about scholarships the local college offered for people who wanted to go back to school. The scholarship would pay for one class, as much to build confidence as anything else. So without telling anyone I applied and received one, and found a friend from church who would babysit while I went to class.
I was so excited, but my husband was furious that I had done this without telling him. Nonetheless I registered for a class, and nervously went back to school. And LOVED it. Seriously loved it, and did well. The next semester I took out a loan and took two classes, and decided that I wanted to go full time the next year, which created more friction in my marriage. To be completely honest, there were other problems as well--we'd married too young and now I was changing and he was away a lot and it was hard.
I started classes full time the next fall, and that same fall TFoMC and I separated--yeah, now I was a full time student AND a full time single mother. My mother tried to convince me that I couldn't keep going to school, but honestly what were the alternatives? I couldn't have gotten a decent job with no degree and no experience. So I took out more loans and got some scholarships and went to school and worked very hard to be both student and mother. I made friends. I found mentors who encouraged me to think about grad school. I did well. And I graduated right on time, twenty years ago with a 4.0 gpa.
Somewhere I have a video of graduation. Graduation was outside under the big live oaks in front of the oldest building on campus. We wore white dresses--yes very old fashioned, but kind of fun--and the guys wore tuxes. My kids (ages 6, 9, and 12) were in the front row with my parents and my mil (who remained my friend). I got a standing ovation when it was my turn to get my diploma and the President announced that I was "first honor graduate" and in the video you can hear my kids yelling. It was awesome.
Going back to school was for me about so much more than just getting a degree--it was about finding myself, facing my identity crisis and reclaiming my self-confidence, something I had lost somewhere along the line. In some ways, I guess these are things most college students do, but maybe I appreciate the significance of what I did more because of when I did it. I went on to grad school, taught for a while, and then went to seminary--but even with all that I can hardly believe that 20 years have gone by.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Random bits of my not-really-off day off
~In theory Friday is a good day for clergy to be off--respite for the working weekend coming up, and if you're lucky enough to have Saturday off as well, a shot at a real two day weekend of sorts. In theory. In reality, not so much. Too many things come up that need to be attended to, and too often meetings and funerals and such are scheduled for Fridays. So today, like many Fridays, I'm getting half a day off.
~This afternoon we will have the funeral for a prominent parishioner, a woman who succumbed to ovarian cancer very quickly. C was many things in life--a nurse, a floral arranger, a representative to many diocesan committees, a vestry member, but most of all she would tell you she was a wife, a mother and step-mother, a doting grandmother, and someone who liked to "mother" others, including me--in a good way. She will be missed. Her funeral will be the largest one here since I've been here, and although I'm not in charge, I still have to attend to the details. So in a bit I will go over to the church and make sure everything is in place.
~Yesterday was my last Fresh Start meeting. FS is a program for clergy "in transition," support for newly ordained clergy and those in new positions. As a newly ordained person, I attended for two program years. Like most programs it gets mixed reviews. For me, and many others, it's greatest value is giving us time to be with friends and colleagues and to discuss issues that we really can't talk about in our work settings. It's at FS that that I can get a reality check on my perceptions of my boss and our working relationship, a reality check that is very useful for me. I will miss the camaraderie, but some of us plan to continue to meet next fall, and that will be a good thing.
~I am still pretty sure that the decision I made last week is the right one for now, but talking about it yesterday I realized that I really do need to work hard to make the next two years more than just bearable. On the work front that probably means asking my boss to renegotiate some parts of my letter of agreement--or more precisely to negotiate some things that were left out originally. Not looking forward to that, but I need to do it. I also experienced a few pangs as the people with whom I was ordained were all talking about their plans for moving on to possible new positions in the next year. I know my time will come, and I need to make the best of what I have now.
~While I've been sitting here orioles have come to the feeder several times. They seem to be more "shy" than the other birds and don't stay at the feeder very long. Makes it very hard to get a picture!
~Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of my college graduation--not that significant a milestone in many respects, but significant to me. I started a post about it the other day, but it's still in my draft folder. Maybe I'll finish it later. Now I need to get ready for work.
~This afternoon we will have the funeral for a prominent parishioner, a woman who succumbed to ovarian cancer very quickly. C was many things in life--a nurse, a floral arranger, a representative to many diocesan committees, a vestry member, but most of all she would tell you she was a wife, a mother and step-mother, a doting grandmother, and someone who liked to "mother" others, including me--in a good way. She will be missed. Her funeral will be the largest one here since I've been here, and although I'm not in charge, I still have to attend to the details. So in a bit I will go over to the church and make sure everything is in place.
~Yesterday was my last Fresh Start meeting. FS is a program for clergy "in transition," support for newly ordained clergy and those in new positions. As a newly ordained person, I attended for two program years. Like most programs it gets mixed reviews. For me, and many others, it's greatest value is giving us time to be with friends and colleagues and to discuss issues that we really can't talk about in our work settings. It's at FS that that I can get a reality check on my perceptions of my boss and our working relationship, a reality check that is very useful for me. I will miss the camaraderie, but some of us plan to continue to meet next fall, and that will be a good thing.
~I am still pretty sure that the decision I made last week is the right one for now, but talking about it yesterday I realized that I really do need to work hard to make the next two years more than just bearable. On the work front that probably means asking my boss to renegotiate some parts of my letter of agreement--or more precisely to negotiate some things that were left out originally. Not looking forward to that, but I need to do it. I also experienced a few pangs as the people with whom I was ordained were all talking about their plans for moving on to possible new positions in the next year. I know my time will come, and I need to make the best of what I have now.
~While I've been sitting here orioles have come to the feeder several times. They seem to be more "shy" than the other birds and don't stay at the feeder very long. Makes it very hard to get a picture!
~Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of my college graduation--not that significant a milestone in many respects, but significant to me. I started a post about it the other day, but it's still in my draft folder. Maybe I'll finish it later. Now I need to get ready for work.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Random bits of spring~Wildlife edition
~It is a most gloriously beautiful day here today. The leaves are coming out on the trees, daffodils and tulips are blooming, it's reasonably warm--just lovely, really.
~I've known for a while that we have raccoons (they can take apart the best squirrel-proof bird feeder made, given the opportunity) but I'd never actually seen one--until last night. I fell asleep on the couch, and when I woke up (far too late) and got up to put myself to bed, I looked out the window. A big fat raccoon was standing up on his/her hind legs trying to reach the oriole feeder. Fortunately it was just out of reach. The raccoon sniffed around the hummingbird feeder, eyed the suet, scrounged among the seed droppings under the bird feeder and then ambled off.
~Yesterday I saw my first hummingbirds of the year--a male and a female--and today I had my first oriole at the feeder. I put the oriole feeder closer to the house this year, and I'm hoping to get a good picture--my camera is right beside the back door, waiting. I love Baltimore orioles.
~Grackles are really annoying birds, but they do have beautiful iridescent feathers. My squirrel-proof feeders are spring loaded so that the weight of the squirrel closes off access to the food. The grackles are heavy enough that they too cause the feeders to close, but one or two of them have figured out that if they shift their weight just so, they can get some seed. Very clever.
~Feeding the squirrels does seem to keep them away from the bird feeders, but they can go through an eight pound bag of sunflower seeds in no time. Watching the squirrels eat has made me realize that they definitely have pecking order. One squirrel has claimed the big squirrel feeder as his own, and the others stay away from it if that squirrel is anywhere around. It's funny to watch one of them try to be sneaky and get up there when it seems the alpha squirrel isn't around--usually they get chased away anyway.
~The geese on the pond have been quite loud lately. This time last year I had goslings in the yard but I haven't seen any yet this year.
~Right this minute there are two HUGE crows high in the trees at the back of the yard. I don't think I realized just how big crows were until I moved here, which seems silly since I'm sure there have been crows everywhere I've lived.
~I've known for a while that we have raccoons (they can take apart the best squirrel-proof bird feeder made, given the opportunity) but I'd never actually seen one--until last night. I fell asleep on the couch, and when I woke up (far too late) and got up to put myself to bed, I looked out the window. A big fat raccoon was standing up on his/her hind legs trying to reach the oriole feeder. Fortunately it was just out of reach. The raccoon sniffed around the hummingbird feeder, eyed the suet, scrounged among the seed droppings under the bird feeder and then ambled off.
~Yesterday I saw my first hummingbirds of the year--a male and a female--and today I had my first oriole at the feeder. I put the oriole feeder closer to the house this year, and I'm hoping to get a good picture--my camera is right beside the back door, waiting. I love Baltimore orioles.
~Grackles are really annoying birds, but they do have beautiful iridescent feathers. My squirrel-proof feeders are spring loaded so that the weight of the squirrel closes off access to the food. The grackles are heavy enough that they too cause the feeders to close, but one or two of them have figured out that if they shift their weight just so, they can get some seed. Very clever.
~Feeding the squirrels does seem to keep them away from the bird feeders, but they can go through an eight pound bag of sunflower seeds in no time. Watching the squirrels eat has made me realize that they definitely have pecking order. One squirrel has claimed the big squirrel feeder as his own, and the others stay away from it if that squirrel is anywhere around. It's funny to watch one of them try to be sneaky and get up there when it seems the alpha squirrel isn't around--usually they get chased away anyway.
~The geese on the pond have been quite loud lately. This time last year I had goslings in the yard but I haven't seen any yet this year.
~Right this minute there are two HUGE crows high in the trees at the back of the yard. I don't think I realized just how big crows were until I moved here, which seems silly since I'm sure there have been crows everywhere I've lived.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Party time
In honor of Songbird's birthday, a Friday 5 on parties, birthday or otherwise.
1) Would you rather be the host or the guest?
~The very idea of hosting a party makes me so incredibly anxious that I've rarely done it. In my mind I would like to have a 12th night party next year, but I don't know if I will follow through or not. I've come to enjoy having house guests; maybe I could enjoy giving parties, too. Maybe....
~I have to confess that my kids missed out on the big birthday party thing that so many kids seem to have these days. When they were little and we lived closer to family, we had parties with grandparents. Later we had a few parties at McDonald's and Chucky Cheese (and that one was a disaster!). The one time I tried to host a sleepover for LD#1 she got strep the day of the party...and again on the day we rescheduled it--seems like it just wasn't meant to be!
~I also have to admit that being invited to parties for a co-worker's kids when the Kid was little turned me off kid birthday parties a bit--big ones at least. This co-worker was fairly well off and her kids were pretty indulged. On their birthdays, she had these ginormous parties where she invited EVERYONE she knew and all their kids. On the one hand she was trying to be very hospitable (and in a way, compensate for having no grandparents or aunts and uncles) I think, but on the other hand--the excess! Here are kids who already had more stuff than they could deal with getting 40-50 birthday presents. Ai yi yi. Maybe that is just another sign of my grinchiness, but that really bothered me.
2) When you are hosting, do you clean everything up the minute the guests go home? Will you accept help with the dishes?
~If I were hosting I would be glad to accept help with the dishes, and I would also want everything done before I went to bed. I'm not an obsessively neat person by any means but getting up to a big mess that has to be dealt with is depressing.
3) If you had the wherewithal, and I guess I mean more than money, to throw a great theme party, what would the theme be?
~If I had access to a plethora of costumes, I think I would love a dress-up costume party--but only if I could be sure to provide truly wonderful costumes for everyone who wanted one, so that no one felt left out or overshadowed.
~Or if money were no object, I would rent a big house at the beach and invite all my friends for a long weekend with lots of good food and just hanging out.
4) What's the worst time you ever had at a party?
~Going to a large party with lots of people I don't know well and not being able to produce the proper small talk and "schmooze" and feeling really left out. And parties in my early married life that ended up with a lot of drunken sailors (as in Navy guys). Ugh. Can you tell I'm not much of a party person?
5) And to end on a brighter note, what was the best?
~Small to medium sized gatherings with good friends and no pressure to feel "on." Probably the best big party I've ever been to was LD#2's rehearsal party--a gourmet pizza dinner for family followed by a lake dessert cruise for a larger group of extended family and friends. Lots of fun and no pressure.
1) Would you rather be the host or the guest?
~The very idea of hosting a party makes me so incredibly anxious that I've rarely done it. In my mind I would like to have a 12th night party next year, but I don't know if I will follow through or not. I've come to enjoy having house guests; maybe I could enjoy giving parties, too. Maybe....
~I have to confess that my kids missed out on the big birthday party thing that so many kids seem to have these days. When they were little and we lived closer to family, we had parties with grandparents. Later we had a few parties at McDonald's and Chucky Cheese (and that one was a disaster!). The one time I tried to host a sleepover for LD#1 she got strep the day of the party...and again on the day we rescheduled it--seems like it just wasn't meant to be!
~I also have to admit that being invited to parties for a co-worker's kids when the Kid was little turned me off kid birthday parties a bit--big ones at least. This co-worker was fairly well off and her kids were pretty indulged. On their birthdays, she had these ginormous parties where she invited EVERYONE she knew and all their kids. On the one hand she was trying to be very hospitable (and in a way, compensate for having no grandparents or aunts and uncles) I think, but on the other hand--the excess! Here are kids who already had more stuff than they could deal with getting 40-50 birthday presents. Ai yi yi. Maybe that is just another sign of my grinchiness, but that really bothered me.
2) When you are hosting, do you clean everything up the minute the guests go home? Will you accept help with the dishes?
~If I were hosting I would be glad to accept help with the dishes, and I would also want everything done before I went to bed. I'm not an obsessively neat person by any means but getting up to a big mess that has to be dealt with is depressing.
3) If you had the wherewithal, and I guess I mean more than money, to throw a great theme party, what would the theme be?
~If I had access to a plethora of costumes, I think I would love a dress-up costume party--but only if I could be sure to provide truly wonderful costumes for everyone who wanted one, so that no one felt left out or overshadowed.
~Or if money were no object, I would rent a big house at the beach and invite all my friends for a long weekend with lots of good food and just hanging out.
4) What's the worst time you ever had at a party?
~Going to a large party with lots of people I don't know well and not being able to produce the proper small talk and "schmooze" and feeling really left out. And parties in my early married life that ended up with a lot of drunken sailors (as in Navy guys). Ugh. Can you tell I'm not much of a party person?
5) And to end on a brighter note, what was the best?
~Small to medium sized gatherings with good friends and no pressure to feel "on." Probably the best big party I've ever been to was LD#2's rehearsal party--a gourmet pizza dinner for family followed by a lake dessert cruise for a larger group of extended family and friends. Lots of fun and no pressure.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Strays
68/365
When my house and yard were being cleaned up before I moved in the slate patio was expanded without too much prep work (it needs to be fixed). Now I have these strays, popping up between the slates. I love the flowers, but soon it will just be weeds growing up there.
When my house and yard were being cleaned up before I moved in the slate patio was expanded without too much prep work (it needs to be fixed). Now I have these strays, popping up between the slates. I love the flowers, but soon it will just be weeds growing up there.
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