~This woman is impressive!
~Long ago and far away when I was married to someone in the Navy, I struggled with the notion that my identity was shaped by his job. As he advanced, I was expected to take on certain roles--roles that I was not the least bit interested in. And he was an enlisted person--if he'd been an officer it would've been much worse.
~Of course military wives are not the only ones who faced this issue. Corporate wives, clergy wives, doctor's wives...it was everywhere. I like to believe--in fact in some case I know--that things have changed for the better. But such expectations are not gone. Clergy wives (to choose the group I'm most familiar with) still work hard to define themselves apart from the roles of their spouses. Of course, clergy husbands face their own pressures, but I'm not sure it's quite the same.
~But I think it must be exceptionally difficult for the spouses of politicians--everything is so public, so out there. Things you said 20 or 30 years ago are taken completely out of context and used against you. The way you dress, do your hair, discipline your kids--it's all open to criticism. There are payoffs, of course--power, influence, moving in high circles--but I wonder about the cost.
~Michelle Obama strikes me as someone up for the challenge. I just hope the cost for her and her family won't be too high.
3 comments:
Amen and Amen to all of your post! I think it's tough being a clergy spouse but I can't even begin to imagine being the spouse of a candidate for President. I love Michelle.
i think michelle is just fabulous. such a brilliant and accomplished woman, with such a broad array of experiences. and she has passion, speaks her mind --but not in a way meant to squelch the experience and opinions of others.
one of the things i admire about her is that she believes hard conversations can be had and productive, healing solutions found despite differences; that gaps can be bridged with respect, persistence, listening, challenging respectfully, addressing barriers to working together. that has been her approach and her experience. [also that of her husband, i believe.]
what a huge contrast to the "i'm the decider" theme of the past several years.
D. and I have a long-standing agreement that, if she ever is ordained and working in a parish, I will go to another parish, for the very reason that it's so hard to know that one is in many ways an extension of one's partner's professional life. So I very much admire anyone who is the spouse/partner of a candidate or elected official.
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