~But really, it gets ridiculous. More ridiculous, I should say. The tension that is floating around just below the surface is affecting everyone--the staff, the congregation, everyone I think except the one person at the center of it.
~In all this, there are some moments of grace. A support system has emerged, after I despaired of ever having one here. I know that they are willing to listen, and to give advice when it is sought, and just to be there. They have helped me to realize that some of the things I worry about are not just my imagination, or me being difficult, and I greatly appreciate that validation.
~And my day to day work goes on, mostly just fine. Because I do love what I do. Even when there is more of it that I can keep up with. Well, I mostly love it then :)
~But I also worry about becoming bitter, about developing a bad attitude or learning negative things that will affect my work here or later in another place. Gah. And I worry about all the energy being sucked right out of me. OTOH, I'm too stubborn to let this get the best of me. So there.
~Remind me of that last bit when I need it, okay?
9 comments:
The work you do is so hard because, lets face it, people are sticky wickets. And that is putting it mildly and kindly on some days.... ha. I always try to remember to pray for all of our clergy because I can't imagine who you could vent to about us. And you would have to need to.... :) hugs!!
Okay. I'll be here.
Hugs to you. Living with that below the surface tension, and trying to keep a smile on one's face, is very difficult. Glad you are getting that validation as well. Praying for you...
Yikes. Peace of Christ to you, Rev!
Oh dear, so sorry to hear about the tension. It's hard when one loves the work but doesn't love some really important things about the context of the work.
Hang in there! You're not in an easy line of work at all. That's a lot of factors to juggle.
Hugs to you. That is not what we think about when we accept the call, but it's often what we find. Seeing God in those who drive is crazy is the hardest thing.
I promise to remind you if you promise to remind me as well!
So sorry to hear all this. I am praying for you.
Sounds like a few situations where I have been! Very frustrating, scary, and draining.
Little piece of advice: write the down the ridiculous stuff. When, what, who. And read Antagonists in Church by Kenneth C. Haugk.
It can become better, but it's a tough ride. Rewards can be good, though.
Blessings to you. Glad you have validation and support.
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