Six or so weeks ago Yankee T sent me these questions to answer. And very belatedly, I am going to tackle them.
1. How did your parenting style change from Kid 1 to Kid 4?
~I was a very young 22 when Elder Son was born. I knew that I wanted to do some things very differently than my parents had done (specifically, not use any corporal punishment and be less authoritarian), but really, I was flying by the seat of my pants. By the time the Kid came along I was a seasoned 38-year-old who'd learned the hard way what works and what doesn't. So I guess the biggest change is being more relaxed and more sure of myself. With the older three kids, I let other people convince me that what I was doing wasn't right--so for example, I only nursed Elder Son for six months because the nurse practitioner insisted that he'd be healthier on solids and he lost interest in nursing; I was inconsistent because I got a lot of badgering from my sister and mother about being "too lenient;" with each child I trusted my own instincts more and when I did we were all happier.
~I'm sure that all my kids would say I'm too strict, and I don't think that has changed, although on the hypothetical "strictness" continuum, I would place myself somewhere in the middle: all my kids had chores, had curfews, I had to know where they were going and with whom, they couldn't have friends over without my knowledge (and usually my presence), I didn't allow drinking (unlike some friends' parents) and so forth.
~The biggest difference, I guess, is that for most of the Kid's life, it's just been him and me. There are 11 years between him and his closest sibling (LD#2/NSLS); LD#1 went off to college when he was in kindergarten and LD#2 when he was in 2nd grade. So he's had lots more one-on-one attention which (most of the time) has made things easier than when I was solo-parenting 3 kids.
1. How did your parenting style change from Kid 1 to Kid 4?
~I was a very young 22 when Elder Son was born. I knew that I wanted to do some things very differently than my parents had done (specifically, not use any corporal punishment and be less authoritarian), but really, I was flying by the seat of my pants. By the time the Kid came along I was a seasoned 38-year-old who'd learned the hard way what works and what doesn't. So I guess the biggest change is being more relaxed and more sure of myself. With the older three kids, I let other people convince me that what I was doing wasn't right--so for example, I only nursed Elder Son for six months because the nurse practitioner insisted that he'd be healthier on solids and he lost interest in nursing; I was inconsistent because I got a lot of badgering from my sister and mother about being "too lenient;" with each child I trusted my own instincts more and when I did we were all happier.
~I'm sure that all my kids would say I'm too strict, and I don't think that has changed, although on the hypothetical "strictness" continuum, I would place myself somewhere in the middle: all my kids had chores, had curfews, I had to know where they were going and with whom, they couldn't have friends over without my knowledge (and usually my presence), I didn't allow drinking (unlike some friends' parents) and so forth.
~The biggest difference, I guess, is that for most of the Kid's life, it's just been him and me. There are 11 years between him and his closest sibling (LD#2/NSLS); LD#1 went off to college when he was in kindergarten and LD#2 when he was in 2nd grade. So he's had lots more one-on-one attention which (most of the time) has made things easier than when I was solo-parenting 3 kids.
2. What has been the biggest challenge for you in your ministry?
~I'm an extreme introvert, so making hospital visits or home visits to people I don't know is always a challenge. Being patient with opinions that are STUPID is also a challenge (okay, that sounds really bad but you know what I mean, right? We all have to do it....) Learning to work with my boss continues to be a challenge.
~In my almost two years doing this, I haven't had to deal with any real crises yet; I've always worried that I wouldn't know what to do or say, but I haven't been tested that way yet.
3. If you could live anywhere in the world and money was not an obstacle, where would it be?
~Probably New York City. I love being in the city--the activity, the hustle bustle, the people, the sights. And if money were no obstacle I could work part time or volunteer and take classes or whatever. And if money were really no obstacle I'd probably have a pied a terre in Maine or Vermont, too.
~I'm an extreme introvert, so making hospital visits or home visits to people I don't know is always a challenge. Being patient with opinions that are STUPID is also a challenge (okay, that sounds really bad but you know what I mean, right? We all have to do it....) Learning to work with my boss continues to be a challenge.
~In my almost two years doing this, I haven't had to deal with any real crises yet; I've always worried that I wouldn't know what to do or say, but I haven't been tested that way yet.
3. If you could live anywhere in the world and money was not an obstacle, where would it be?
~Probably New York City. I love being in the city--the activity, the hustle bustle, the people, the sights. And if money were no obstacle I could work part time or volunteer and take classes or whatever. And if money were really no obstacle I'd probably have a pied a terre in Maine or Vermont, too.
4. What got you started blogging?
~I started reading blogs probably 3 years ago; I've been part of a cyber community/email list for almost ten years, and people there started talking about blogs. I feel into a blogging community populated by academics, mommies, and clergy types quite accidentally and since I have ties to all three of those groups I was hooked. I created my persona "Rev. Dr. Mom" when I wanted to comment on a blog that didn't take anonymous comments. A few bloggers I read suggested to me that I should start my own blog, so a couple of months after I moved here I did, but not believing anyone would actually read it. And I'm still surprised that people do. I've grown quite fond of my blogger community. Isn't funny how you can feel attached to people you've never met f2f?
~I started reading blogs probably 3 years ago; I've been part of a cyber community/email list for almost ten years, and people there started talking about blogs. I feel into a blogging community populated by academics, mommies, and clergy types quite accidentally and since I have ties to all three of those groups I was hooked. I created my persona "Rev. Dr. Mom" when I wanted to comment on a blog that didn't take anonymous comments. A few bloggers I read suggested to me that I should start my own blog, so a couple of months after I moved here I did, but not believing anyone would actually read it. And I'm still surprised that people do. I've grown quite fond of my blogger community. Isn't funny how you can feel attached to people you've never met f2f?
5. What's your favorite ice cream?
Do I have to pick just one? Yikes. Let me just say that my favorite kind is Ben and Jerry's. As much as I love chocolate, I'm not as fond of chocolate ice cream, but anything with chunks of chocolate or toffee is good, and banana, and peach, and lemon. Last summer Ben and Jerry's had Key Lime Pie which was to die for. Honestly, though, I don't eat "real" ice cream that often.
Any more questions?
Do I have to pick just one? Yikes. Let me just say that my favorite kind is Ben and Jerry's. As much as I love chocolate, I'm not as fond of chocolate ice cream, but anything with chunks of chocolate or toffee is good, and banana, and peach, and lemon. Last summer Ben and Jerry's had Key Lime Pie which was to die for. Honestly, though, I don't eat "real" ice cream that often.
Any more questions?
5 comments:
I also love chocolate but not chocolate ice cream! :-)
You were never strict... I always did whatever I wanted!! It was your asshole husband who was the real contender. Good thing I had him to rebel against and not you, huh?
Strict? You just trusted WW more than me! Or something...I don't quite know. However I think we've all moved past the teen angst and don't really need to go there again...
Great answers!
I had to giggle when you said that being patient with stupid opinions is a challenge. Bless you for your honesty.
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