I just sent an email withdrawing from a job search I was in.
I hope it was the right decision. It was a job I was pretty interested in and I was happily surprised last week when I received the letter saying that I had made the first cut. But when the reality of even the possibility of moving sank in, I began to have second thoughts.
Here's the thing: When I started my current position I really thought I would be here until the Kid graduated from high school--about four years all together. But by the end of last summer, the beginning of my 2nd year here, I began to seriously consider moving on sooner rather than later for a variety of reasons. And the Kid doesn't really like it here that much (the location) so it seemed like if I could find a place before he started 11th grade it might work out.
But it takes a long time to find a new clergy position. And I don't have all that much experience. And I'm fairly picky about where I'm willing to live. The Kid has made friends and he has a summer job and he has the classes he wants to take for the next two years planned out and moving seems a lot more complicated than it did a year ago.
And truthfully, I am ambivalent about leaving my current position. My boss makes me nuts most of the time. But I like the actual work I do here. I have a great living situation that would be hard to replicate. I don't think I am doing all I could do here--the question is, will I be able to? (As in, will I be given the opportunity?)
The bottom line is, I don't think I can make a move right now. In my mind it's mostly because I just can't see making the Kid move during his junior year in high school. (I know, LD#1, you had to, but it was different--I HAD to move then, but I don't have to right now. And starting him in a new school is not as easy as it was starting you in a new school).
I hope I am making the right decision for both of us, and for the right reasons. I hope he will make the most of his last two years at a school that has a lot to offer. I hope I can make the most out of my job situation here, and that I'm not unconsciously avoiding the challenge of moving on. Time will tell.
As I thought about this last week at clergy conference and then into the weekend I realized that I have to do something else as well. I have to find a way to make the next two years more than just bearable. Not sure what that means yet--getting away more often? Taking a class somewhere? Still working on that part.
9 comments:
It's always hard to make a decision to move when you know that it will affect your children's education. My husband and I just made the decision not to move and for him to commute weekly. Not a perfect situation, but there wasn't going to be a perfect situation no matter what we did. Good for you for thinking it through. Wish you could move over here to our parish.
I still wish you'd move closer. Not that I know if that other job is any closer, but still. Maybe in two years you'll find an even better job and things will work out. They always do.
Ah, I withdrew (as a finalist) from a job search a few years back because we decided we could not move the children. Hard, but I'm glad in the end we did it. I'm still where I was, with its good points and challenges, but kids are happy and doing well, so on balance, a good discernment.
All manner of things will be well!
And even when it doesn't involve children (as I have none), there are times in discernment when one realises that the place just isn't the right fit and the best thing for both parties is to withdraw. It is far better to withdraw earlier on than later on. I have done it a few times. It is a very, very hard decision to make but having made it, I knew it was the right one. Good luck.
this sounds like a good decision--and your search for things that will make these next 2 years bearable is quite smart. Having the right job is important, but you don't need to let the downsides of this one define this period in your life. I hope you find a way to define your path soon.
Maybe you should get a dog!
Glad for your peace of mind that you made a decision. It sounds well thought out. Good luck to you-
I grapple with the pastor/parent discernment questions, too, as you know. I really thought the only way I could be faithful and/or happy was to create an upheaval for everyone else. I was delighted to discover I was wrong. It was good to put yourself out there, and good to have a receptive response, and it's good, too, to determine that moving isn't the right thing just now.
I always pray and ask God where He wants me to live, not where do or do not want to live. God has a plan and you are in it!
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