The other part of Christmas

So along with all the drama at work about boilers and steam pipes (and large funerals and budget discussions and other sundry things I didn't mention), I hosted Christmas here this year. Which I was very happy to do. With my work schedule it's easier in some ways not to have to travel, and I have a great house for everyone to gather in. But that also meant that the pressure was on to get the shopping, decorating, cleaning and so on done in a timely manner. I'm awful about being last minute...some of it is intentional--I just refuse to start Christmas as early as many do, some of it is my personality which seems to prefer last minute pressure, and some of it is work--long days mean when I come home I just want to veg out.

This year, Amazon was my friend, and almost all my shopping was done on line in one fell swoop, which was great in many ways. But all those boxes piled up in the back room, demanding to be sorted and wrapped--sort of like they were glaring at me every time I came in the door. I bought the tree in plenty of time--really it was the easiest tree-buying ever: I went to Whole Foods where they had gorgeous Fraser firs and bought the first one I saw and the guys stuffed it into my car. It was the heaviest tree I can remember and it is beautifully fat and full, and just brushes the ceiling. And it took me three nights to decorate.

WW, Mr. WW, and Baby M arrived first, on the day before Christmas Eve, and the Kid came in from the city that night. I managed to have all their presents wrapped and under the tree before they got here, and all the grocery shopping done, and the house was clean because the domestic goddess also came that day. That was also the day that the second boiler went, so I was feeling pretty stressed. On the up side, it meant I could forget about sermon writing, so I spent all of Christmas Eve afternoon wrapping the rest of the gifts. For the first time in at least 30 years I did not have to stay up until the wee hours surreptitiously wrapping while everyone else slept. Amazing.

After the early service at the neighboring church, we all came home and had dinner and then I went back to church, and WW and the Kid started baking...and were still baking when I came home: apple pie, chocolate tart, and a pie crust for me to use the next day,  and sweet potato biscuits for Christmas dinner. So even though I didn't have to wrap presents, I stayed up late with them and helped them clean up.

Christmas morning I got ready for church while Baby M had some breakfast and then he started opening presents. Only he is very very slow and deliberate so he actually only opened two before I left. Which was okay because NSLS, Mr. LS, and Little J were coming in that afternoon after being with Mr. LS's family for a few days. When I got home from church M was napping and I started in prepping Christmas dinner: Baked ham, pineapple and cheese, green beans, kale chips (which Mr. LS made when he arrived) and my contribution to dessert: pecan pie. What I really wanted was a nap, but that was not in the cards.

NSLS and her family arrived around 3, and full on present-opening commenced. J is old enough to really enjoy it now, and is sweetly thrilled by everything. M got into it, too, after he got warmed up. And it was a great Christmas evening.

Everyone stayed until Tuesday, and it's a good thing that was the plan because Sunday afternoon we were hit with the Great Christmas Blizzard of '10. The wind fairly howled, and we felt every draft in this old house, but we also had a roaring fire and we spent our time playing with Christmas toys (at one point we had a great sing along session with M's rhythm instruments) and, after the kids went to bed, board games. J and I ventured out into the snow once, but it was just too windy and cold to stay out.

It really was a lovely Christmas, and I loved having everyone here for a few days. The house is way too quiet when everyone leaves. So Tuesday afternoon, the Kid and I decided to go to see Harry Potter 7.1 ~ we've had a long standing tradition to see those movies for his birthday since that is usually when they come out, but we hadn't managed to see this one yet.  Annoyingly, the projection system wasn't working very well, but the bonus was they gave us all free passes to compensate for the less than perfect picture (really it was fine after they got it into focus, just a bit smaller than usual on the screen but they spent 10+ minutes trying to fix it). I won't say no to free movie tickets, so the next day we went back and saw The King's Speech, which is really excellent--go see it! Colin Firth was really really good as George VI.

The Kid left yesterday to visit his high school friends, and I went back to work--sort of because it was, until late yesterday, still quite cold everywhere except the main office. One boiler is up and running and hopefully Sunday we'll be back to "normal"--whatever that is!

And that's Christmas 2010.

Let me tell you about our Christmas...Part I

~About a week and a half before Christmas, the director of the preschool that rents space in our basement showed me a big wet spot on the carpet and a leak in the pipe that runs along the wall. It's a steam pipe for the heating system and we had to replace a big hunk of it on the other side of the building just about this time last year. Big sigh...we called the plumber and the news kept getting worse. Turns out we have to replace that pipe on the whole length of the building--through the preschool and the food bank beside.  it.The only good news is that the work can be done between Christmas and New Year's while the preschool is closed.

~The Friday just a week  before Christmas, even as the plumber is still giving us an estimate to replace the steam pipe, I look out the window to see a truck from the company that services our boilers in the parking lot. Not good, I think, and later I go over to see what's up. Seems like someone had noticed a lot of steam coming from our chimney and suggested we should get it checked, and sure enough, one of the two main boilers has gone kerfluey and will have to be replaced. The heating guys fix it so one boiler can heat the church for the weekend, and promise to try to get a new boiler in before Christmas.  On Sunday the church is chilly but bearable with just one boiler running. [There is a third boiler but it only heats my office and the church school space upstairs.]

~It takes longer to get a new boiler than we expected but with the one boiler keeping things bearable, we think we'll be okay. Then on Thursday, the day before Christmas Eve, I walk into a freezing church and the maintenance guy says, "Ready for some more bad news?"  Yes, indeed, the second main boiler--the one that is only two years and 25 days old--has failed. We have NO heat in the church or the Parish Hall. And no hope of getting either boiler repaired before Christmas.

~Meanwhile it's getting colder outside, and snow is forecast for the weekend. It's about 40 F in the church and I'm not sure whether to be more worried about the pipes all freezing in an unheated building or folks coming into a freezing building for Christmas Eve services. After consulting with the senior warden, I decide there is no choice but to cancel all the services for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the first Sunday after Christmas--heartbreaking but I see no alternatives. We briefly discuss renting space heaters but fear that they would overload our electrical circuits. There is a large fireplace in the Parish Hall and someone suggested that we just build a roaring fire and gather round that on Christmas Eve but I am skeptical.

~The brand new office manager who has spent her first week perfecting the many Christmas bulletins (which are now superfluous) emails and calls everyone in our directory to give them the news and I call my friend the priest who happens to be the priest-in-charge of the church in the next town over, and ask her if we might join them for Christmas services.

~If there is any good news in this whatsoever it's that the second boiler was likely defective from the beginning and we shouldn't have to pay for it. At that news I'm ready to sing the Hallelujah chorus. And the almost sort of good news is that I can abandon my sermon writing, freeing up some time for other things--like wrapping presents and SLEEP.

~So on Christmas Eve I drive to church [and that's the first time since I moved to NYC for seminary that I've driven to work for services b/c I've always been able to walk] and join the neighboring congregation for a lovely service. WW and Mr. WW and the Kid are there, and baby M sits on my lap as we watch the Christmas pageant. I return the next day, and the next [it's the perfect storm of Christmas with services on Friday, Saturday and Sunday] and some of our parishioners attend as well. It's different but it gives me a new perspective on Christmas services...and lots to think about churches and buildings. And as I drive home after the last service on Sunday the first flakes of the great Christmas blizzard of '10 are beginning to fall.

~The REST of Christmas in Part 2...

Well THAT was a bust

Reverb 10 that is.  It seemed like such a good idea, a way to motivate myself to write after NaBloPoMo was over. But honestly, the prompts were not that motivating. And combined with a month full of craziness at work meant I just never got around to it each night.

December is always a month that elicits a lot of memories and feelings for me, and I still think from time to time "I should blog that," and then don't do it. But as much to get things down for myself as for any other reason, I'll have some year-end wrap-ups in the next day or so.

Meanwhile, happy almost new year!

Community

Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

I've been part of an online community of one sort or another since 1998 when I started hanging out on an Anglican/Episcopal listserve where I made some enduring friendships. (When I was ordained in 2005 people on that listserve came from 7 states and Canada to attend). This year I've found community on FB and the RevGalBlogPals.  I don't think I spend as much time on FB as some people, but I do spend time there every day, and I love it because it allows me to be connected to people from all the many disparate parts of my life--one day I friended  both my fifth grade teacher and my favorite college professor; I've reconnected with people from my old Girl Scout Troop, my high school class, my seminary. It's the main way I keep connected with family members
 
I've never been to a RGBP "Big Event" but I do find community there, especially at the Saturday preacher party. I"m inspired by others' words, and the company is great while I'm writing.

And I found community at the CREDO conference I attended last month. I really enjoyed the people I was with--people of different ages and backgrounds and locations but still with so much in common. Which leads to the kind of community I'd like to find or become part of this year. I'd like a clergy peer group. I miss regular contact with peers--people I can be honest with, commiserate with, complain with, rejoice with.

Make

Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

I haven't really made anything in a long while. I've never been super crafty, but I used to love counted cross stitch and for a while when the girls were little, I smocked things for them. The piece I am most proud of is a romper I made for my nephew with teddy bears smocked on the front. I made piping for the collar and used French seams, and even go the sleeves in pretty well. I'm not sure my nephew ever wore it, but when the Kid was born, my sister sent it back to me and the Kid wore it once. 

I'd love to take up smocking and cross stitch again but I need two things:  more time and a good needlework shop with cross stitch supplies and the ability to pleat fabric for smocking  I've thought about taking up knitting as well, but I'm not sure I'm patient enough to get good at it. 

Let go

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

My mantra over the last couple of years has been "Let it go, let it go" sung to the tune of "Let it be"--and you know, it really helped.  In the last year I've tried to let go of thinking about people in my life who have caused me angst.  Especially my former boss. So much happened the last year I was there that I just didn't understand. As is my wont, even after I left, I continued to think about it and process it to try to make sense of it, but I reached a point where I said, "ENOUGH!" It is over and done--let it go."  

I really needed to do that--because otherwise he and our poor relationship would define who I am and what I do no, and that's not healthy and not where I want to be. That's giving him a power that he shouldn't have. And really, it's over now.

Wonder

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

The sad thing is, I'm not sure I did. Except perhaps for the time I spent with my grandchildren, for whom the world is still ALL wonder. I love being with them, watching their explorations, hearing J articulate her every experience, seeing M learn to navigate more and more independently.  Nothing like seeing through the eyes of a child.

I think my photography helped me cultivate a sense of wonder when I was spending a lot of time with it. Seeing the world through a camera lens gives you a new perspective, captures things you might miss otherwise, focuses on things in a different way.  About the same time I quit blogging every day I quit working on my photography.  And as I learn over and over again in my life...it's really hard to get back into something once I let it go. But maybe it is time to work harder on that.

Jumping on the bandwagon

...the #reverb10 bandwagon that is. I need some incentive to keep writing, and although NaBloPo seems to go all year now, it really only works for me in November.

I'm several days late, but I am going to catch up. So here goes.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

New...I think my word for 2010 is new, although the newness really began a few months before 2010 began.  I began the new year three months into a new position, three months into living on my own (read alone) for the first time in my life, and still figuring it all out. My routines and rhythms have changed over the year as the newness has started to wear off, but you know, I am still figuring it all out--what it means to be rector of a parish, what it's like to live alone, to parent only adults, to live in a new town without having children to settle in as a way to help me connect. All new.

I can no longer claim newness as this year draws to a close; I can't use it as an excuse for not recognizing someone or not knowing how to get somewhere, or even for not having a social life. The honeymoon is definitely over in my job, and the hard realities are setting in--that's not all bad, by the way, but it is hard in many ways.

A year from now, what do I want my word to be? Happy?  Satisfied? Does that sound trite?  I am ready for a year that just is--no big changes, no big drama, just things moving along. Is it tempting fate to hope for that?


December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

To quote Songbird, "Aside from working and sleeping?" Yeah, that.

At work I write newsletters and bulletins and correspondence. I view my writing at work at least in part as teaching (this applies mostly but not exclusively to the newsletter).  At home I blog and I write sermons.  After blogging for more than 450 consecutive days, I rather abruptly all but stopped when my work life became unbloggable. I've blogged sporadically since then, but I really lost steam. And the blogging community has changed as I noted here which make blogging less rewarding than it used to be.

My other writing is sermons....and really everything else I do does sort of interfere with that, at least in terms of time. I know some people who are really good as setting aside a writing day during the week, but I'm not. And becasue I *can* produce something at the last minute I often do. To be honest, I write best under some pressure, so writing on Saturday works okay most of the time. The part I don't like is not taking or having adequate prep time during the week.

Now in truth what I do all day also DOES contribute to my writing in that it connects me with my parish who are my main audience, and in that provides inspiration and direction for what I write/preach, and often for what I blog. So it's not all black and white here. 

I'm not an inherently disciplined person, but I sometimes wish I were more disciplined about writing more/better.

ETA:  As I was writing my post on wonder I realized there is something I do now that interferes with my writing and doing other things: watching TV. Ironically I don't even own a TV but over the last couple of years I've begun watching on-line...it was stress relief and then it became habit. I don't watch that much, but even one show a night takes up time that I used to spend doing other things. And when I come home from work late and tired, there's not that much discretionary time. How do people keep up with a full TV schedule and still get other things done?

Skipping December 3 for the moment...

Hey, I did it again

Successfully finished NaBloPoMo with this post. This is my fifth year...now the question is, will I keep it up in December? Only time will tell.

Meanwhile is tomorrow REALLY December 1? In denial here...big time. 

Classic

After posting last night I lay down on the couch "just for a minute" and fell fast asleep. And had a classic anxiety dream. You know the one: I was trying to get ready to catch a plane somewhere and I just couldn't get ready. Couldn't pack. Didn't remember how to get to the airport. Not enough time. At one point something caught on fire and I couldn't remember how to make my cell phone work to call 911. Felt like I was in some sort of time quick sand. Crazy.

Consider the irony of me saying that I was going to try to do things a bit differently and then dream about FLYING somewhere -- since I never fly. The not-enough-time-to-get-ready part--not so ironic--just typical.

I woke up sometime after midnight to put myself to bed. I almost blogged the dream then because it was so vivid, and I kind of wish I had because I'm sure I've forgotten parts now.  But it truly was classic.

Tonight I shall go straight upstairs to bed.

Where in the world has November gone?

This is the time of year that starts getting to me, the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I don't ever remember a year where November seemed so SHORT.

Being away for 11 days early in the month really messed with my sense of time. I arrived home exactly a week before Thanksgiving day, and it was a week packed full of work obligations, both to catch up with things I'd missed and to prepare for the immediate future--which included, of course, both Thanksgiving and the beginning of Advent. I love Advent as a season, but I'm rarely ready for it and this year is worse than ever.  I know that Christmas will be here before I can really blink,

So I'm thinking about changing things up a bit. I'm pretty much a stickler about not decorating too early,  not getting caught up in the Christmas crazy, but I think that actually works against me in some ways, so I'm trying to relax my rules a bit. We went to the local tree lighting while we were in VT for Thanksgiving, and I really enjoyed it, and it helped me feel more in the spirit of the season. I'm planning on getting the tree earlier this year, and trying not to let Christmas prep pile up so much. At the same time, I'm already thinking there won't be time enough to get everything done, at home or at work. Couldn't we get an extra day a week or something? Maybe November ought to be where the extra days goes in leap year?

Back, safe, home again

After meeting all the gathered family at a favorite breakfast place and a stroll through a quiet (because it was stii early) downtown with frosty air and dancing snow flurries, we set out for home in time to be here before dark. But the best laid plans...you know how that goes.

By the time we gassed up the car it was snow showers instead of flurries and the farther we went the harder it snowed pretty much the whole way across the state. When we made a pit stop we hit a spot of blue skies and hoped we were through the worst of the snow but I had no sooner gotten out my sunglasses because the sun was glaring on the wet roads than we caught up with the snow squalls. The roads weren't awful buy it snowed hard enough that visibility was poor and traffic slowed way down. Mind you, I'd rather it slow down than for idiots to sped by but it did make for a loooong drive home.

I have to add that it would have been beautiful if I hadn't been driving in it.

Now it is on to the Advent rush...let the new (church) year begin!

Friday five~pies, pies, pies

Songbird had a plethora of pies yesterday, leading to this Friday Five.

Please answer these five questions about pie:
1) Are pies an important part of a holiday meal?

Yes! We had chess pie yesterday (along with coconut cake and cheesecake. Can't imagine not having at least one pie.

2) Men prefer pie; women prefer cake. Discuss.

Can't speak to the generalization, but I prefer pie if it is good pie. I love pecan, and mince, and peach, and key lime and...well what's not to love if the filling is scrumptious and the pastry is flaky? Otoh, mediocre store made pies are not worth the calories.

3) Cherries--do they belong in a pie?

Why not?

4) Meringue--if you have to choose, is it best on lemon or chocolate?

I don't really care for meringue, but I've had really excellent lemon and chocolate pies sans meringue. Bake the meringue into cookies instead!

5) In a chicken pie, what are the most compatible vegetables? Anything you don't like to find in a chicken pie?

Chicken! Since I am vegetarian chicken pie isn't really on my list anymore. My MiL used to make really excellent chicken potpie with pototaoes and carrots and peas. Fresh veggies are definitely preferable to canned.

I had a roasted vegetable pie from WF a couple of weeks ago and I may try to replicate that at some point.

Suitably stuffed

Eleven adults and two kids around the table and and a bounteous feast make a wonderful Thanksgiving day.

Hope you all had a wonderful day, too.

Over the river and through the woods...

to the grandbabies house we go.
The car knows the way
To take us today
And we're hoping to see no snow.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! We're off in the morning to Vermont for a big family dinner. 

When a short week doesn't feel like a good thing

~When you have to work on your day off to make up for it.

~When after you work on your day off you are still behind.

~When you don't have a parish secretary and despite having a substitute not everything can possibly get done.

~When it's right before Advent and you really don't have all your Advent ducks in a row.

~When you have to have a sermon mid-week and you don't have a spare day to write it.

~When you've barely unpacked from your last trip and you need to pack again.

More random bits

~I've been having some tooth pain off and on for a few weeks, but it never lasted long enough for me to decide to call the dentist. But over the weekend it got worse, and this morning it hurt when I ate, and my face felt a little tender....been.there.done.that. so I called the dentist, and sure enough I ended the afternoon with a root canal.

~The procedure itself isn't bad and my dentist is very good--I was out in less than an hour. But it sort of hurts now that the numbness is gone. The dentist gave me a prescription for vicodin, but I didn't fill it--I've never taken anything stronger than advil or tylenol, and I hope not to start now. We'll see.

~The other reason I didn't fill it is because I apparently didn't have the right insurance card for prescriptions. I have never once tried to used this insurance that it has worked right the first time. It always works out eventually (but I SWEAR they only sent me one card) but why does it always have to be such a hassle? The same thing happened when I went to the eye doctor.  Can we say single.payer.system?  Why is that so hard?

~I've cast my votes AGAINST Bristol on DWTS....have you?

~Monday is normally my day off, but with a short week and having just been gone for almost two weeks, I worked today to try to get caught up--or at least get a start on getting caught up. I wish it were possible to take time off without getting snowed under upon return.

Random bits of Sunday

~First time back in the pulpit in three weeks! Much better at the second service than at the first--I really need a warm-up I guess. Which is different than when I was teaching--I hated teaching two sections of the same class because the second one almost never went as well as the first.

~TOTALLY lazy Sunday afternoon. Although I had thought to go outside and fill the bird feeders and take the chairs off the porch for the winter and change the sign for church, I never made it off the couch. I read for a while, watched an episode of Castle, dozed for a while, and that was the afternoon!

~Even if you've never ever watched an episode of Dancing with the Stars, would you go on-line tomorrow night and vote for anyone EXCEPT Bristol Palin? That she is still there is a travesty. Seriously.  (Ha! Even my mother thinks so, which sort of cracks me up!)

~I  am so NOT ready to think about Christmas. I still have Advent planning to do. Why again did I think it was a good idea to be away the first two weeks of November?

~But I am really glad I went; it was a great experience. 

~I got the sixth season of Lost on iTunes so I could watch it on the train. Which I didn't do, but I watched some last night and tonight and all I can say is wtf?  I am still waiting for it to make sense.

~Loving my iPad, but I still can't make it send email correctly. I mean, it sends the message but without the content. Again, wtf?

~I completely missed my blogiversary last month--I actually thought about it but then didn't get around to blogging it--but I've been here for five whole years. FWIW.

~Maybe I'll stick around for a while long. NaBloPoMo hasn't been as hard as I'd expected, although I haven't posted much of substance.

~I was actually thinking about this yesterday: what's missing in my corner of the blogosphere is the conversations that we used to have, not here so much, but at other blogs where we seemed to gather. (Phantom, where are you? We miss you!) Some of that conversation migrated to FB, or Twitter, but since I don't tweet I miss out on that part.

~And I guess if I started tweeting, it would signal that it's time for people to move on to the next new thing, because that's the kind of trend setter I am :)

Transitions

The 11 days I was away seemed to mark the end of fall and the beginning of winter in my little part of New England. The big maple by the church was still adorned in golden red, and the northern dogwood that hides my back door from the parking lot had just begun to change when I left, and now they are completely bare. The leaves are gone behind the fence, and at night when I look out that way I can see the lights of cars on the highway rushing by, a reminder that I am still in the midst of things. The shops down in the town center become visible if I peer through the bare branches at the edge of the driveway.

One last tree in front held on to its golden brown leaves. This is the tree where, if I were a kid, I would build a treehouse. Its branches spread out just right, and one could sit just so and watch the world go by on the deceptively busy street corner.

It must've been a windy night, although I didn't hear it. This morning the leaves from that last tree cover the front lawn, like an unexpected golden snow fall in the night. The light is different in the living room now. I can feel winter in the creaks of the furnace, in the rustling of the bare branches, in the chill of the air.

Reenty is hard

I pulled into the driveway around 4:30 yesterday afternoon, came in and took a shower, started some laundry and then went over to the church to check the mail and get ready for a meeting.  Almost from the moment I walked in the door, nothing went as I expected it.

Most of it is non-momentous....just more of the same-old same-old things that happen--a plumbing leak, no heat in my office,  a problem with a staff member, all the aggravations that go with running a parish, or a small business for that matter. A couple of bigger, more complicated things thrown in for good measure, the details of which I don't need to go into here, but that are at the very least disappointing and at the most troubling.

Part of the conference I attended involved discernment around one's vocation. I went with some questions to ponder, and I left a clearer sense of how to focus on the next couple of years. I felt--and feel--good about that. I want that positive energy to help carry me over the rough spots that are inevitable. I just wish my bubble of positivity hadn't been pricked so soon.