2010!

It's hard to believe that we're marking the beginning of the second decade of this century! I remember clearly where I was and what I was doing 10 years ago as we awaited the dawn of 2000. It was the time of Y2k....seems so silly now, but some people took it so seriously. The Kid and I were the only ones home for new year's eve (I don't remember where the girls were), and we played games on the computer to pass the time until midnight--no blogs or Facebook then to keep us occupied. At midnight we watched the time turn over (correctly) on our computer, and had some sparkling cider to toast the new year.

This year it's the two of us again. The Kid was supposed to be away visiting his high school friends, but he woke up sick this morning and had to delay his departure. So we're sitting here with our laptops, awaiting 2010, and we'll have sparkling cider again. Maybe I'll try out my new popcorn maker, too.

So much has happened in the last ten years. At the beginning of 2000 I was going up for tenure, and discerning my call to the priesthood. My three older kids were all in college, and the Kid was in 3rd grade. Now the girls are both married and mothers, the Kid is in college and Elder Son is in grad school. My father, mother-in-law, and father-in-law all died of cancer, and my mother has moved into assisted living. 9/11 happened, and I went off to seminary and was ordained. I've moved three times. I've made new friends and reconnected with old ones. And all that just barely conveys how my life has changed. I wonder what the next 10 years will bring?

Happy New Year everyone. May 2010 be filled with good things for all.

2009--the good, the bad, and the ugly

Where to start? I think I'll go in reverse order:

The Ugly:

~I will remember 2009 in large part by the truly abominable behavior I experienced from some colleagues, primarily my former boss. As I've reflected over it the last few months, I still find myself not quite believing how reprehensible some of it was, and how completely unnecessary. But if nothing else, I learned a lot about how NOT to interact with people, how NOT to manage staff, and about how I react under stress--both positively and negatively.

The Bad:

~Job stress. Lots of it, much remaining unbloggable. Really, it's remarkable how much that defined my life for the first two-thirds of the year (and see the Ugly, above). While things had been stressful for much of my tenure there, I couldn't have foreseen how hard the last year there would turn out to be.

~Moving stress--no matter if the move is positive, packing and moving is HARD physically and psychologically. I've done it many times, and I know how to get it done efficiently, but it never gets easier.

The Good:

~Family--Baby J thrives, and I was privileged to baptize her at the Easter Vigil. WW got married, and Mr. WW arrived from Nepal in time for Baby M's birth. The Kid graduated from high school, and survived his first semester of college. I got used to living alone.We had a wonderful Thanksgiving together in my great new house, and celebrated Christmas together in VT.

~Friends--took care of me in so many ways when I was totally stressed out, and rejoiced with me when things turned around. I discovered deep wells of caring and concern and generosity of spirit, sometimes from completely unexpected places. And I reconnected with some old friends via FB.

~Colleagues--rallied around me when I needed them. My clergy coach and his wife went above and beyond the call of duty to support and encourage me. I don't know where I'd be without them.

~A wonderful new parish--my new church has been warm and welcoming and seems truly happy to have me here. There are many challenges to face here, and I know the honeymoon will not last forever, but it is so nice to start out positively. I am so happy to be here, and I feel really lucky and blessed that I ended up in a good place.

And that's 2009 in a nutshell.

December!

Where did the month go?

After NaBloPoMo, I had every intention of continuing to blog, and I found myself thinking occassionally, "That'll blog!" but somehow, the posts never got written. So here's the month in random bits:

~The month started with a wonderful liturgy installing me as rector and celebrating our new ministry together as a parish. Some of my favorite people from my former parish traveled up to attend, and my clergy coach preached. It was a truly fantastic evening. And the next day was my birthday.

~I managed NOT to have the Christmas blues--I can't remember the last time that happened. Really. I can't remember.

~But I have to say that when Christmas Eve came, it took me a bit to feel the magic. Church on Christmas Eve is different here. Not bad, necessarily, but different.

~No Christmas pageant this year, and I'm surprised how much I missed it. But I did invite all the kids at the 5:00 service to come up front, and I read them the Christmas story from a Tomie DePaola book--and I saved the magi part for our Epiphany celebration on January 6.

~Another priest on FB who is in a new church remarked how much easier things would be when she wasn't doing everything for the first time. I think that is a wise observation. Just figuring out how things are "customarily" done is exhausting sometimes. And balancing the whole "of course you can do whatever you want" v. "we can't change anything!" scenario requires a lot of ....tact, to say the least.

~I had presents bought earlier than ever (but not that early by some standards, I suppose) and got the tree up in a timely manner, but I still found myself with too much to do on Christmas Eve. Which makes no sense, because I had so much less to do this year at work than last.

~The Kid and I went to Vermont on Christmas day as soon as I finished church to have Christmas with the NSLS and WW families. Baby J has a new kitchen and loves to cook. "Sit, Amma!" she says, and "Cook!" Then she gives me an ice cream cone. And Baby M is growing fast!

~Unbelievably, my camera never came out of my camera bag while I was away. Don't know how that happened. I did take a few pix with my phone but it's not the same.

~Too many deaths around Christmas....a good friend's father died on the 23rd, a priest colleague from my former diocese dies on December 24th, as did someone from my former parish in VT. I went to her funeral on Tuesday. It was the first time I'd been back to that parish since the week I was ordained as a deacon, and it was good to reconnect as we celebrated P's long and full life.

~We made it home yesterday between snow storms--here and there. I seem to have lost my driving-in-the-snow mojo, and I need to get it back. I live at the top of a hill, and I worry about getting up (and down!) when the roads are messy, although I did okay when I went to get groceries this morning.

~I won't be sorry to see 2009 out. What a year--the good, the bad, and the ugly. At least it ended on an upbeat. That should be a separate post, actually.

~What will 2010 bring in the blogosphere? When I click through my blogroll, I see so many abandoned or taken down blogs. There are voices I miss. But people move on....that's life. It will be interesting to see how blogging/fb/twitter play out in the next year.

Ding dong, the witch is dead

I spent the whole day today out shopping--I went to a very large mall in one direction because the Apple store is there, and I needed my computer worked on. And when I finished up there (some four hours later!) I went to Whole Foods in the opposite direction. Driving home it hit me--it's December 14, most of my shopping is done, and I don't have the Christmas grumpies yet! How did THAT happen?

Seriously, it's the first time that I can remember that the whole Christmas to-do hasn't depressed me to some extent--whether it was the shopping or work or what. Of course, there are still 11 days to go. And I have tons of work to do--sermons, bulletins, buying and decorating the tree, wrapping the gifts. I could still succumb. But something feels different this year--it feels lighter somehow. And I'm not complaining!

Cuteness

NaBloPoMo NoMo

It's November 30, and I made it--I posted every day, although there was a lot of filler. (I am reminded of my friend D's blog title On Not Being a Sausage, which comes from the teachings of Silvanus: "Do not be a sausage which is full of useless things," and feeling very sausagey myself!) It was a discipline if nothing else.

They say that the older you are, the faster time goes by, and I must say that I am finding that to be true. It seems impossible that the whole month of November has passed already. December will be even faster, I know, with the rush to Christmas. I bought my first Christmas present today, which puts me (for the moment) ahead of where I usually am this time of the year. And I got the Advent calendars out of the attic (I have several reusable ones.) Liturgically, Advent began yesterday, but Advent calendars usually run for the 24 days in December, so tomorrow will be Day 1. My concession to Christmas decorating is to hang one of the Advent calendars on the back door. I need to find something Adventy for the front door, too.

Even though NaBloPoMo is no mo, I am going to keep writing. Maybe I'll even have something to say :)

Fall pictures

I took these about a month ago...decided to quit futzing around with Photoshop for now and just used iPhoto to edit these. Not as sophisticated, but good enough for now.



This one is much better if you click on it to enlarge it.

Lame NaBloPoMo post

It's been a great Thanksgiving weekend, but mow I'm waaaaaay behind on writing my sermon. However, it's also almost the end of the month, and I'll be darned if I'm going to let NaBloPoMo go at this point, so here it is, my lame, last minute, placeholder post.

Not like my last few posts have been much either. I think I was half asleep when I wrote a couple of them. But I shall endeavor to finish the month with a flourish if I can!

Christmas is coming

Last night I looked out the front windows to see Christmas lights in all directions--'candles' in the windows directly across the street, lights outlining the roof line at another, light-adorned shrubbery at at third--everwhere I looked were Christmas decorations. Apparently all my neighbor used Thanksgiving Day as an opportune time to get ready for Christmas.

Actually these weren't the first decorations I'd seen; last week while driving to get a haircut I passed a yard adorned on the one side with a huge inflatable turkey, and on the other with an equally large (and obnoxious) Santa.

I guess I'm old-fashioned; certainly my outlook is affected by my occupation, but it's also shaped by tradition, and that tradition holds that Christmas BEGINS on December 24, and culminates on the Feast of the Epiphany, January 6. Clearly I am out of step with 'popular culture.' But oh, how I wshed morre people observed Advent. I wish we could celebrate Thanksgiving without being caught up in the materialism and hoopla of the season to comes--things that really have very little to do with the real reason for Christmas.

What's for dinner?

Thanksgiving at chez Rev. Dr Mom:

Roasted turkey
Cornbread dressing
Homemade cranberry sauce
Mashed potatoes
Sauteed green-beans
Roasted sweet potatoes and onions
Pumpkin cheesecake
Pecan pie

All delicious!

How about you?

Countdown to Thanksgiving

~Kid retrieved from college-check

~Groceries bought--check--after trips to two grocery stores + Tarjay, I think we're set.

~Turkey brining--check

~Pumpkin cheesecake--in the fridge, thanks to NSLS

~Pecan pie--ingredients at the ready for baking tomorrow

~Thanksgiving service--done!

~Happy Thanksgiving Eve!

Uh-huh

Random bits, Facebook style

~Rev. Dr. Mom wishes there were more days between Thanksgiving and the first Sunday in Advent.

~Rev. Dr. Mom wonders why she thought it was a good idea to host the ecumenical Thanksgiving service....and who thought it was a good idea to schedule her celebration of new ministry the very next week. Special bulletins the same week as the newsletter? Not a good idea.

~Rev. Dr. Mom has been crazily baby-proofing her house in anticipation of a visit from Baby J (and Baby M, but he can't get into anything yet.)

~Rev. Dr. Mom is picking the Kid up for Thanksgiving break tomorow--hurrah!

~Rev. Dr. Mom's car needs a new catalytic converter :(

~Rev. Dr. Mom is happy that her new cleaning person is coming tomorrow!

~Rev. Dr. Mom really needs to go to bed now!

NaBloPoMo: It ain't what it used to be

This is my fourth year doing NaBloPoMo (yeah, I was shocked when I realized that, too!) And while I'm glad I'm writing again (even if it hasn't been all that interesting) the experience this year is very different from previous years, especially 2006 and 2007.

I realize in retrospect that I began blogging at what must have been close to the height of the "blogging craze" at least in my little corner of the blogosphere. I quickly found my place in a group of bloggers that were at the intersection of academic, mommy and clergy blogs. So when I did NaBloPoMo the first two times, I already had a group of readers, and I somehow attracted more--my numbers went up both of those years, especially 2007. Last year? Not so much, and this year not at all. I realize I lost most of my readers when I quit blogging last spring, but truthfully, I think readership is down mostly because people have moved on....they're spending more time on FB and Twitter, or they've moved and changed jobs in ways that has impacted their blogging, or their kids have grown older and they're less comfortable blogging about their lives, or they've just lost interest. All of this is natural and normal. And I've had my own blogging "identity crises."

And of course, it's not all about the numbers. But the reality is that I miss many of the voices that were here, people I met here and whom I read regularly. I "know" some of them on FB which is great, but I still miss what felt like a sort of community. And reading status updates keeps me in touch, but I miss the good writing, even when it was on relatively trivial topics.

My life is really different now, too and I've been thinking about how or if that affects my blogging. I'm not quitting yet, but we'll see where this all takes me after NaBloPoMo ends.

Ted Kennedy, faith and politics

Following various links today while doing some research for my sermon, I came across a blog with this clip of Ted Kennedy speaking at Jerry Falwell's Liberty College (now University). It just so happens that I started reading Ted Kennedy's memoir True Compass a couple of days ago, and I find it surprisingly compelling. I've always respected Kennedy (while, yes, acknowledging his many flaws) and you can't live where I did for the last few years without being infected at least a little by the Kennedy mystique, whether you admire or revile them. One of the things that strikes me in the memoir is Kennedy's frequent references to the importance of his faith in shaping his world view--something that I share with him to a great degree. So I found this passage interesting. At some point I need to look up the rest of this speech and see where he goes with it.

Friday Five~Thanksgiving thoughts

The Cure

Lying around all day
with some strange new deep blue
weekend funk, I'm not really asleep
when my sister calls
to say she's just hung up
from talking with Aunt Bertha
who is 89 and ill but managing
to take care of Uncle Frank
who is completely bed ridden.
Aunt Bert says
it's snowing there in Arkansas,
on Catfish Lane, and she hasn't been
able to walk out to their mailbox.
She's been suffering
from a bad case of the mulleygrubs.
The cure for the mulleygrubs,
she tells my sister,
is to get up and bake a cake.
If that doesn't do it, put on a red dress.

-Ginger Andrews (from Hurricane Sisters)


1. What is your cure for the "mulleygrubs"?

Often a nap will do it. Or doing something to distract myself--a good book. Going out for coffee.

2. Where will you be for Thanksgiving?

Right here at chez Rev. Dr. Mom, with NSLS, Mr. LS, and Baby J, WW, Mr. WW, Baby M, and the Kid

3. What foods will be served? Which are traditional for your family?

Free range turkey for the carnivores, cornbread dressing, homemade cranberry sauce, sourdough rolls, roasted veggies, mashed potatoes, pecan pie and pumpkin cheesecake.

The two must-haves no matter what are cornbread dressing and cranberry sauce. Cornbread dressing reminds me of my grandmother, and the cranberry sauce is a favorite of my kids--I've been making it since they were little. This year WW is making sourdough rolls (assuming the starter started) in honor of my mother who made them when my kids were growing up--they were wonderful and perhaps they'll become part of our tradition again.

4. How do you feel about Thanksgiving as a holiday?

I quite like Thanksgiving. These days it gets totally eclipsed by Hallowe'en and Christmas, and I think that's too bad. As a holiday (at least in my family) it has far less baggage than Christmas.

5. In this season of Thanksgiving, what are you grateful for?

I have so much to be grateful for this year--my children and my two beautiful grandchildren, my new position and the wonderful people here, and my clergy coach and his wife, and great friends who have been there for me when things were tough

It's the end of an era and a sad sad day

One of the institutions at my seminary had nothing (and perhaps everything) to do with theological education. Since 1978 Frankie's Deli has been the place seminarians went to be fed, literally and figuratively. Good cheap food and coffee, a carton of OJ or some cat food when you didn't have time to go to the "real" grocery store, the newspaper on Sunday morning--Frankie's was good for all these things and more--a smile, a joke, a quick hug, a word of encouragement. Frankie was "Papi"--father, uncle and grandfather to us all.

Frankie's Deli is a little hole in the wall kind of place--old, crowded, and always just barely up to code, but it is a place fueled by love--and today on FB seminary alumni and friends got the official word that Frankie's is closing at the end of this year. He has lost his lease. It doesn't surprise me, given the reality of real estate in NYC; Frankie almost lost his lease while I was there, but a last minute negotiation saved him. This time, it appears, there will be no such luck. Frankie is in his 70s, and would likely have to retire at some point, but this forced closing is so sad.

Frankie's is important not only to the seminary community but also to the people of the neighborhood, especially the less affluent residents who like in any NYC neighborhood, are scattered around the area, and concentrated just to the south of the seminary. Like the seminarians they flocked to Frankie's not only because it was cheap and convenient but because Frankie cared about them. Once Frankie got to know you, you would never go without if he could help it.

Frankie, you are an icon of all that is good and right in this world. And Chelsea will not be the same without you.

It's a sad, sad day.

18

Happy birthday to the Kid, who turns 18 today. Who must register for the draft. And can now vote.

My kids are officially All Grown Up now, I guess--at least legally :) And that is an amazing thing!

One more thing

~It's repair week here at chez Rev. Dr. Mom. Cnstruction workers started rebuilding my front porch roof on Monday; when they are done there they will take down some of the hall ceiling to repair the leaky bathtub drain pipe. Tomorrow the computer guy comes to install a new hard drive on my office computer.

~And just when I think things are almost all fixed? My check engine light came on and is staying on. Argh!!!

Just saying...