It's that time of year

~This is the time of year when I start to get really grumpy. I don't want to, I don't mean to, but it usually happens. I have a bad history with Christmas, and even though the last few years have had lovely holidays, this time of year still gets me down.

~Last year I swore that I would shop and decorate earlier this year, and to that end I've been thinking about Christmas presents. Last week we had to go to the mall for the Kid to get some new earphones, and while I was there I saw something that I thought might be a good Christmas present for someone in the family. So today I went back to get it--but of course they were all out and don't know when or if they'll get more. Even when I try to shop early I'm thwarted (although I guess by many people's standards, this isn't early.)

~We're having a low key Thanksgiving--just me and the Kid. And that's really okay with me. We'll cook Thursday and then eat leftovers the rest of the weekend, because I'm sure we'll cook way more than any two people need. I like cooking Thanksgiving dinner and since Thursday is the only day I really have off I'm fine with just staying home.

~The dryer just stopped--as soon as I get the Kid's fleece out of it I'm going to bed--maybe I'll even get there before midnight!

NaBloPoMo and other random bits

~This is my third year of doing NaBloPoMo, and 2/3 way through the month, this is the first year that my number of visits per day has gone down and not up. It could be that I've had nothing interesting to say; it could be that people are twittering now instead of reading blogs, it could be any number of things, I suppose, but it has been surprising.

~I've wanted to write more this month, but honestly I just haven't had any time. By the time I get home at night I'm so tired I can barely put two thoughts together, and I fall asleep on the couch.

~Does this make me go to bed earlier, try to get more sleep? No, it doesn't. I've haven't been to bed before 12:30-1:00 am in over a week, despite promising myself I'd try to get more sleep. What I do is really stupid.

~But I think I know why I do it. I just need a period of time to myself--no one else around, quiet, and I can just be. What I' doing is less important than getting that time; it's been true for years.

~It has been COLD here the last few days, surprisingly cold for November. And that after a pretty mild fall overall. We even had a dusting of snow on Wednesday. I don't mind it being cold this time of year. When it's still cold in April, then I'll mind!

Weird night

~I have thought of a number of adjectives to describe tonight, but for now, I guess I'll stick with weird, although surreal, uncomfortable, and "I couldn't have made this up " also come to mind.

~Backstory: The church has a dinner club of sorts. People sign up and are assigned to a different group each month; goups meet at someone's home, and the groups are usually 7 in number --why 7 I have no idea. I'm not signed up, but I sometimes get invited as a substitute--which happened this week. The hosts were a couple in their early 80s (although if you saw them you'd guess early 70s at the most) who've been married a long time and really love each other and are just very nice and smart and interesting people. So when M called to invite me, I said yes without reservation.

~Of course I had no idea who else would be there but I wasn't too concerned about it. Until I got there and found out that one of the couples was my boss and his wife. Now some of you know already that in earlier posts when I talk about difficulty at work, I'm talking about my boss, although I try not to say it directly too often here. On the surface we are cordial to each other, but just below the surface is what I'll describe as an undercurrent of tension, maybe even hostitlity. Recently he barely speaks to me or looks at me directly except when we're having necessary work discussions.

~And the other couple are nice people, although a bit eccentric. She is somewhat demanding and has in recent months taken to sending me emails at 1 am complaining about this that or the other--which I mostly ignore.

~So it was a weird mix of people. Really. But I know how to be nice, so I put on my happy social face and had a lovely glass of wine before dinner.

~And then there was dinner. I don't make a big deal about being a vegetarian, and I generally eat whatever there is (always hoping it won't be steak or some such). And tonight it was some kind of meat stew--sort of like stroganoff with cauliflower and served on brown rice. So I just took lots of cauliflower and avoided the hunks of meat and it was fine. Until I was helping clear the table and looked at the open cookbook in the kitchen. It was veal stew. Veal. The one meat I didn't eat for ethical reasons even before I became a vegetarian. I am SO glad I didn't know it was veal beforehand.

~So I made nice and ate food that I otherwise wouldn't have, and then I blew my cover as a vegetarian when Eccentric Lady and her husband started talking about how unhealthy all the vegetarians they knew looked and Boss and his wife chimed in. Without thinking about it I blurted out, "I'm a vegetarian." And then hastened to reassure my hosts that it was okay, I easily made exceptions for reasons of hospitality. And felt a little bad, because I really like the hosts and thought I might have been rude. Sigh.

~The evening ended about 9:15 and I drove home. When I got in the house I reached in my pocket to get out my phone to check for messages--and I didn't have it. I left it at the hosts' house. And I needed to call the Kid--whose phone number I never memorized because it's programmed in my phone. Fortunately I found it in caller id in the house phone. (It's a little alarming how bereft I feel without my phone, which I hope I have time to retrieve tomorrow.)

~Overall, it wasn't a terrible night. My hosts are interesting people and told some great stories. They live in a funky old house, filled with her artwork. But really, I couldn't have come up with a less likely group to spend time with. And now my introverted self is exhausted and needs to go to bed.

Another quiz

Because I'm just too tired for anything else...

You Are Chess

You are brilliant and shrewd. You can often predict what people will do in the future. You thrive in complex situations. You deal with contradictions well. You can have many streams of though going on at your mind at once. You keep track of things well. You are very patient. You have lots of endurance, even when your energy dwindles

What Board Game Are You?

I wish I had her hair

This is the second quiz I've taken where I've gotten Katharine Hepburn as my result...interestingly enough, the questions were quite different. Now if I just had her hair... i always loved the way she could just pull it up in a knot and look so elegant.

Your result for The Classic Dames Test...

Katharine Hepburn

You scored 14% grit, 19% wit, 48% flair, and 29% class!

You are the fabulously quirkyand independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Setting things straight

~Terri Gross interviewed Bill Ayers on Fresh Air today, and it was fascinating. I don't think I'd ever heard of Bill Ayers before Sarah Palin brought him up during the campaign. Yes, I'd heard of the Weather Underground, but I was a tween/young teen in the sixties, and just didn't pay that much attention to the details of the anti-war movement.

~Ayers is thoughtful and well-spoken, and he raised some really excellent questions about what "terrorism" means, and about EVERYONE needing to take responsibility for what the roles they played during the war. I was prepared to be a little hard on him, becasue I am a pacificst at heart, and he readily admits that he endorsed violence (although he maintains that it was always directed at property, not people)*. But I'm also the mother of an activist dughter and in his explanations for the decisions he made, I hear echoes of her thinking. Ayers didn't excuse what he did, and he didn't apologize--but he did put it in a context that made Palin's and the McCain campaign's characterizations of him, and the implied slurs on Obama for being associated with him seem all the more overblown.

~I won't rehash all of Ayers' arguments (listen to the interview--it's worth it). But the thing that impressed me the most, I think, was his calling for a truth and reconciliation commission (similar to what took place in South Africa after the end of apartheid) so that everyone involved in the war in any way might come to terms with their roles, that an honest look at what the war in Vietnam--and those in Iraq and Afghanistan--really mean, what they cost in terms of human life and erosion of the human spirit, so that real healing migth take place.

~I don't think that Obama and Ayers "palled around" in any real sense, but I have to say that after hearing this interview, if they had it would've been a good influence, not a bad one.

*and he maintains that he supporst non-violent resistance these days, which I fully endorse

Lost and found

~So the whole blogging the lost thing hasn't worked for me yet. I've looked EVERYWHERE I can possibly imagine the discs being and then some, to no avail.

~I hate losing things like this when I know where I had them last but can't imagine where they could be now. Now I'm debating whether I should just replace parallels--I was going to upgrade it anyway. But the other missing disc is Bibleworks, and I can't afford to replace that right now.

~I had to go in the crawl space today to find something else--we have crawl spaces tucked under the eaves in a couple of different places, and I have moving boxes and other things I don't need on a regular basis stored. But in moving things around to find what I needed (some pieces of flooring for the construction guy who is finally finishing the work started last summer) I found two more boxes of baby stuff I'd saved. NSLS and I went through some earlier when she was here, but I had the feeling I had more somewhere--and I do.

~I wonder what else I'll find when it's time to pack up and move again? Probably my software, long after I need it.

Blogging the lost

~It seems to work for other people...so here goes. After my hard drive crashed last spring, I never reinstalled my Parallels program, but a couple of months ago I got it out to do so. I carried it back and forth to work with me a few times, and left it out for a while but never got around to do doing it. But this week the computer guy at work fixed it so I can have remote access to the network, so I really need Parallels to set up Windoze --and now I can't find the software. Argh. I found the Windoze disk and the other software I was going to reinstall but no Parallels anywhere. And I have no recollection of what I could have done with it.

~The irony of me losing something like this now is that my house is probably cleaner and more organized than it has been at any other time in my adult life. And I've been pretty careful about keeping computer stuff together.

~The cleaning person could have stuck it somewhere if I left it sitting out--she occasionally moves things around. Or I guess I could have left it at the office...but I don't know why it got separated from the other software I had with it.

~Piffle. I really wanted to get it all set up tonight. Here's hoping the "blogging the lost" charm works for me!

Suffering from a short memory

~It's impossible to miss all the gloomy reports lately about the economy and concerns about energy (even with dropping oil prices) that have filled the news, especially since the election. But as I've listened, I've been dumbfounded a few times by what short memories Americans have, and by how we've failed to learn from our past. Two examples:

~Today on NPR in a report talking about the real estate and mortgage crisis, someone argued that it came about (at least in part) because those making risky loans were convinced that in American real estate prices always go up and real estate is always a good investment, even with high interest loans. But one has only to look over the last 25-30 years to see evidence that that's not always true, nor is this the first time people have ended up holding mortgages greater than the value of their homes. When we bought our first house in 1979 the interest rate was 10%, and our real estate agent told us it would likely never be lower. And indeed, over the next few years it continued to climb--as high as 16-17%. When Ronald Reagan came into office he immediately canceled a number of programs that helped lower income people afford houses with those rates and house prices tanked. We were living in an area with lots of military families who had been encouraged to buy homes as good investments, and who needed to sell those homes when they received orders to a new posting, and suddenly those houses were an albatross rather than a good investment. Sound familiar? (It's not lost on me that just as in today's crisis the first victims were those who could not have afforded to buy without special loan programs.) And when I moved to Vermont in the mid 90s, I could afford my condo only because real estate prices had stagnated for several years and condo owners in the area just wanted to get rid of them. I know that the mortgage crisis this time around cuts deeper and perhaps has more complicated causes, and of course I'm no expert. But I just don't see how people who ARE the experts could believe that real estate is always such a sure thig. Were they naive, greed, stupid--or all three?

~During the energy crisis in the mid 70s, Jimmy Carter had solar panels installed on the White House. I remember that energy crisis well--when there were lines at the gas pumps, speed limits were lowered to 55, and Americans were urged to conserve energy at home--but I don't remember the solar panels. At any rate, again after Reagan was elected, the energy crisis abated and Reagan not only had the solar panels removed, but he also pulled the funding from the agencies that were working on developing solar energy and other sustainable energy sources. This little tidbit was in the context of a report on fears that since oil prices had decreased so dramatically the pressure was off for developing more fuel efficient cars and alternative sources of energy.

~The philosopher George Santayana said, "Those who fail to remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Perhaps we should pay greater heed to that notion.

This may be my favorite silly quiz...

The Ultimate Color Test

When you are at peace, you are: Deeply stable When you are moved to act, you are: Unorthodox and idealistic When you are inspired, you are: Creative and productive When your life is perfectly balanced, you are: Totally in the moment Your life's purpose is: To change the world

The Ultimate Color Test

Work--the unbloggable

~I have started, in my head and on the computer, at least forty eleven different posts about work in the last few months, but none of them have been published. As much as I want--really, really want--to blog about all the cr@p sh1t, um, stuff going on, actually doing so makes me very uneasy, so I don't.

~But really, it gets ridiculous. More ridiculous, I should say. The tension that is floating around just below the surface is affecting everyone--the staff, the congregation, everyone I think except the one person at the center of it.

~In all this, there are some moments of grace. A support system has emerged, after I despaired of ever having one here. I know that they are willing to listen, and to give advice when it is sought, and just to be there. They have helped me to realize that some of the things I worry about are not just my imagination, or me being difficult, and I greatly appreciate that validation.

~And my day to day work goes on, mostly just fine. Because I do love what I do. Even when there is more of it that I can keep up with. Well, I mostly love it then :)

~But I also worry about becoming bitter, about developing a bad attitude or learning negative things that will affect my work here or later in another place. Gah. And I worry about all the energy being sucked right out of me. OTOH, I'm too stubborn to let this get the best of me. So there.

~Remind me of that last bit when I need it, okay?

What's next, American Idol?

~I haven't owned a TV in going on 13 years, so there's lots of programming that has come and gone without me ever seeing it. But about a year and half ago, I discovered Grey's Anatomy, first on DVD and then on-line. Recently it's become my habit to download the newest episode on Friday and watch it while I eat lunch.

~So a couple of weeks ago when GA was over, I idly clicked on the list of available shows, and then clicked on Dancing with the Stars--sort of fun to watch in a mindless sort of way (and I really need mindless these days). Cloris Leachman was a hoot (but no more, alas) and Susan Lucci dances nothing like I'd imagine Erica Kane would. She's really pretty restrained.

~Over the course of a couple of days, I managed to catch up with this season so far. And have been checking weekly to see who is the next to go. Silly really, but as I said before--mindless at a time I really need it.

~So is this the beginning of the end of my "no TV" life? And what will come next? Stay tuned!

No time, no words

~It's almost midnight; too tired to string enough words together to make a blog post, so I leave you with this:

Oh, the memories!

As Dani noted, today is Sesame Street's 39th birthday. I'm older than Sesame Street but I loved watching it with all my kids, and her post got me thinking about all my old skool favorites. I remember watching SS's trip to Hawai'i with Elder Son, and I found this on YouTube:

There's lots more where this came from!*

*although it's not the "official" Sesame Street YouTube

And you just never know how things are going to turn out

Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an everflowing stream Amos 5:24

~I love that passage, and it really spoke to me this week, but as I noted in my last post, whether from tiredness or distractedness or writer's block (or some combination thereof) I just couldn't get the sermon going. It was okay, but it didn't really capture what I was feeling. I really, really wanted to rewrite it last night, but the energy just wasn't there. This morning as I was getting ready for the 8:00 service, it just came to me what I needed to do. I didn't have time to work on it before that service so I preached it as it was, and it was okay, but as soon as the service was over I ran to my office and rewrote the last part and everything clicked--although I wasn't completely sure of that until I actually preached it.

~The irony for me of writing being so hard for me this week is that I gave not one but three extemporaneous 5 minute homilies on the texts during the week. Despite that I don't think I've ever wrestled so hard with a sermon. It was a happy surprise for me for it to all come together in the end.

Living the (bad) dream

~You know the recurring dream, the one where you're supposed to be somewhere, but no matter what you do you can't seem to get there. Or the one where you're back in high school, and there's a test in Latin but you can't find the class room and you forgot to study and why are you taking Latin anyway. You know the dream; we've all had them. That's what my life has felt like the last couple of day.

~It's all because diocesan convention was yesterday and today, and I'm preaching this weekend, and my boss was away this past week, so I had an extra service to do on Thursday, plus a project that's been hanging over my hard to finish up. Saturday mornings are my best writing time for sermons, but because of convention, I was determined to write my sermon on Thursday afternoon. And I tried, I really did, but it just didn't happen.

~Nor did it happen Thursday night because after I got home at 7pm, having worked almost 12 hours, and then got dinner and ran an errand, I promptly fell asleep on the couch before working on the sermon OR doing a job-search related task that I needed to tackle.

~So yesterday morning, when I had planned to set up for tonight's service and do a couple of other tasks at the office, I found myself with a sermon still to write AND the job-search stuff still to do-all before 1 pm. Now normally I do my best writing under pressure, but it just wasn't happening. So I left for convention with a half-written sermon, determined to finish it last night.

~I left the convention banquet before it was really over and still didn't get home until 9:30. I sat down to work on the sermon, but I was so tired I found myself writing gibberish. Seriously. So I went to bed. Still no finished sermon.

~I set the clock to get up early , and I determined that if I were an hour or so late to convention, it would be okay. But I woke up with a wicked headache and a serious brain fog. You know, feeling like you're in slow motion or stuck in molasses. So I stayed in bed longer than I should have. And once I got up, wrote in a fog. It really did feel like I was in that bad dream. And finally left the house three hours after I should have. Sermon written. Finally.

~As it turned out, things were running behind at convention, too, so I didn't miss as much as I'd thought I might. And I can't vote because I'm not "canonically resident" in this diocese. And I'm not sure anyone really noticed I was late. Happily the brain fog and headache disappeared about the time I left the house.

~I had to leave convention early this afternoon to get to church to set up for the service, since I didn't get to do it yesterday (and it's a service that requires more than the usual altar setup). I was sufficiently bored at convention that I didn't mind leaving (usually I really enjoy diocesan convention, but this year--not so much). Set up for the service, presided and preached. The sermon is adequate, but that's all, and if I had more energy I'd rewrite it. But I don't think it's going to happen.

~I'm already looking forward to a nap tomorrow afternoon.

Friday Five~Funny papers edition

~Posting early before a busy, busy day...the title of this F5 tickled me because we did indeed call the comics "the funnies" when I was a kid.

1. What was your favorite comic strip as a child?

~Dick Tracy, Dondi, Peanuts

2. Which comic strip today most consistently tickles your funny bone?

~Doonesbury, For Better or For Worse

~FBoFW has just ended its run of new pieces, sadly. It eerily parallels my own life in some ways: Michael and Elizabeth are close in age to my own older children, and April is only a few months older than the Kid. So I could always identify with the family things going on

3. Which Peanuts character is closest to being you?

Ummmm, Linus, I think.

4. Some say that comic strips have replaced philosophy as a paying job, so to speak. Does this ring true with you?

I think there is some truth in that. I appreciate the subtle and often ironic ways the philosophical points are made, too.

5. What do you think the appeal is for the really long running comic strips like Blondie, Family Circus, Dennis the Menace as some examples?

I don't read any of those anymore, but I guess they do have a timelessness--and show how somethings never really change, which is comforting in a way.

Bonus question: Which discontinued comic strip would you like to see back in print?

Calvin and Hobbes, without a doubt. One of my all time favorites.

In brief

~I filled up the car for under $30. Seriously. And it was on empty. I can't remember the last time that happened.

~I am still very, very, very happy that Obama is now our president-elect. And I'm glad the campaign is over. Now would you commentators quit deconstructing the whole process? Please?

~I am beyond tired, having worked 11 1/2 hours today, and I still need to write a sermon before lunchtime tomorrow--at which time I have to show up at the diocesan convention, which lasts until late afternoon Sat. at which time I have to go back to church for the 5:00 service.

~Convention is local this year, Which is a good news/bad news sort of thing. The good news is that I don't have to travel. The bad news is that I have no excuse to miss that 5:00 service. And really, I'm falling asleep just sitting here.

In the afterglow

~I dreamed about it last night, and it still brings tears to my eyes when I think about it this morning, and read the reactions from around country and around the world to what we've done. It really feels like a new day, a new chance, a new hope. I appreciated that in his acceptance speech last night President-elect Obama did not only exult in the victory but also recognized the very hard work, the grueling work in front of him, and all of us.

~And yet, there is still a small dark cloud amongst the rejoicing. The fate of Prop 8 is still uncertain in California, and bans on gay marriage passed in Florida and Arizona. It is painful to watch as discrimination and injustice are written into law. It's wrong.

~One of this Sunday's readings is from the prophet Amos and it ends, "Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever flowing stream." Amen, may it be so.

It brings tears to my eyes...

~Reading through everyone's comments on blogs and on Facebook, it just brings tears to my eyes. What a moment this is. There are few moments in my life--perhaps no other moments--that have felt this momentous.

~Yes we can! Yes we did!

Barack the vote!

~I voted early this morning, and because I had a lot of work to do, I didn't have too much time to think about the election. But now....I am so excited and so anxious. And worried. And hopeful.

~NPR just called Pennsylvania and New Hampshire for Obama. Hurrah!

~It's going to be a long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Vermont is the first state to go dark blue on the NY Times map. No surprise there, but it I like it anyway. I can't really claim to be a Vermonter but I still feel very attached there. And Vermont politics suit me.

~Ha! Elizabeth Dole has been defeated by Kay Hagan. Hurrah!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Ohio for Obama!

~I'm feeling cautiously optimistic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Listening to the results in North Carolina makes me think of my dad. He was a Tar Heel through and through and he was an old-fashioned Southern Liberal Democrat. It pained him to have Jesse Helms for his senator, and to see the Republican takeover of the south. I like to think that if he were still alive he'd have been in line early this morning to cast his votes for Kay Hagen and Barack Obama.

~I saw a quote on a NY Times blog that someone heard while waiting to vote in NC. When asked,"How long have you been waiting?" the reply was "About 20 years." I can imagine my dad saying that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~I dozed off for a minute and when I woke up--HE WON!!!!!!!!

~BARACK THE VOTE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's so wrong

with spreading the wealth?

Seriously, I always thought spreading the wealth was a great idea. Suddenly it's socialist? Oh, excuse me, we're not creating wealth so we're not capitalist enough?

Just color me pink(o), I guess.

Metablogging

~as if I haven't been boring enough lately, now I'm blogging about blogging.*

~About a year ago I started another blog under my real name. I posted some sermons there, and a couple of reflections, and had high hopes for doing some "serious" writing there--hopes that never came to fruition. And then in January, because I love taking pictures, I started a 365 photo blog that I kept up faithfully for a few months and then, without intending to, abandoned. But somehow I've managed to keep writing here, albeit about the most mundane things. Maybe because I'm really a shallow thinker? Maybe because it's my way of having conversations of a sort with the larger world, with people outside of my congregation and community? Maybe because on some level it's gratifying to put words down somewhere even if they are mundane? I don't know, and probably it doesn't matter.

~Anyway, since it's NaBloPoMo, and lots of others commit to every day blogging, I'm hoping for some inspiration. So, as I did in the last two years of NaBloPoMo, I'll open it up--any questions? Any suggestions for things to write about? Any good memes? (and where have all the good memes gone, anyway--or am I hopelessly stuck in the past to be looking for them?)

*really, this is just to keep me from obsessing about how the election is FINALLY tomorrow and that's all I can think about most of the time.

Saints, politics and other stuff

~Today is All Saint's Day (actually, it was yesterday, but we transferred the observance to today), one of my favorite days in the church year. It's also a day for baptisms, and I had the great privilege and joy of baptizing three children and one adult (the mom of one of the children) this morning. They brought lots of friends and family members along, and the church was packed. And we sang two of my favorite hymns, I Sing a Song of the Saints of God, and For All the Saints.

~I Sing a Song of the Saints of God is the first hymn I remember learning way back in jr. choir. I couldn't have been more than 2nd grade at the time. I loved it then and now for reminding us that saints are extraordinarily ordinary people, people we can encounter anywhere we go.

~There's a wonderful children's book illustrating I Sing a Song....and the pictures in it are illustrations of the church where I did my field placement in NYC. I actually owned the book before I knew where the pictures came from, but while I was there, the author of the book visited the church and talked about the book. This church suffered a devastating fire in the early 80s and the author donated some of the proceeds from the book to the rebuilding effort.

~Today is also NSLS's birthday. She was born on a Sunday, too, and in an election year--the year Jimmy Carter lost his reelection bid to Ronald Reagan. I didn't vote that year because I'd had a c-section and was still in the hospital. Of course, I'd never given a thought to getting an absentee ballot ahead of time. I remember the doctors and nurses walking around the day after the election in disbelief that Reagan had won. I hope we're not saying that this week about McCain.

~I don't ever recall an election feeling this intense, or the stakes so high. I was really, really opposed to Bush in the last two elections, but this feels even more of a must-win situation. The Kid was out with some of the other "Young Democrats" from his school today holding signs; they'll be out again Tuesday. For them and all the other young people who've been inspired and energized by Obama, I want him to win. And because I think he's our one chance for something new and different.

~I watched the clip of McCain on SNL with Tina Fey last night. It was hilarious. And while I was watching it I was thinking that I could so see Sarah Palin doing something like that--hosting something on TV--far more than I can imagine her in a position of real power.

~Yesterday felt more like a "normal" Saturday than any I've had in recent memory. No sermon to write, no other work thing hanging over my head, I cleaned out a closet and did laundry while the Kid gave his room a major cleaning and did his homework. Every once in a while normal domesticity is comforting. (Just don't expect it too often!)

For no discernible reason

~except that I was editing some pictures from my August vacation and liked it.

~And maybe I'm in denial about it being November?

What's Halloween without trick-or-treaters?

~Not much of a Halloween.

~I knew not to expect any, and I didn't buy any candy, but I still miss having trick-or-treaters; I even miss going out with the Kid when he was younger. I miss dressing up, too, which I did the last couple of years we lived in VT and every year when we lived in NYC.

~I loved Halloween when I was a kid, too. I waxed nostalgic abut it a couple of years ago, Maybe the next place I lived will be in a neighborhood with kids.

~Meanwhile, I can't believe that tomorrow it's November already!

Friday Five~Positive potpourri

The busy time of year is upon us--now through Christmas; a Friday Five in recognition of that:

1) Your work day is done and the brain is fried, what do you do?

Put on my jammies, sweatshirt and furry slippers and sit on the couch with my laptop to browse the news, and of course, blogs.

2) Your work week is done and the brain is fried (for some Friday, others Sunday afternoon), what do you do?

~Sunday afternoons we usually go out for brunch and then I take a nap or read the New York Times or take pictures or some combination of the three.

3) Like most of us, I often keep myself busy even while programs are on the tv. I stop to watch The Office and 30 Rock on Thursday nights. Do you have 'stop everything' tv programming or books or events or projects that are totally 'for you' moments?

~I don't have a TV, but I do like to download Grey's Anatomy on Fridays and watch it while I have lunch or a late afternoon cup of tea.

4) When was the last time you laughed, really laughed? What was so funny?

~Watching one of the many Sarah Palin skits on SNL.



5) What is a fairly common item that some people are willing to go cheap on, but you are not.

~OJ--I like 'not from concentrate' and I prefer a particular brand. I guess that doesn't stand out as much as it used to when frozen concentrate was the way to go--do they even make it anymore?

~Will Smama's answer of TP was pretty good, too, and to that I will add tissues (Kleenex in my vernacular although they are more likely to be Puffs with lotion).

Oops, I did it again

Signed up for NaBloPoMo for November that is.

This is my third year. The first two years, I wasn't sure I could do it, but I did. But this year is different--it's more like an impetus to keep going, because I've already blogged every day this year so far. (And I hope I don't jinx myself by saying that.) So stick around. At least with the election there will be plenty to write about, the first part of the month anyway. Whether it will be a huge celebration or a pity party remains to be seen.

I forgot...

~how expensive the senior year of high school can be.

~Today I paid for four college application fees and a cap and gown. I've already paid for the SAT (twice) and two AP tests (okay, those weren't actually during senior year--but he's taking three more this year!). I saved a bundle by taking his senior picture myself (and it turned out quite nicely, thank you very much.) And tux for the prom will at least be less than a prom dress!

~All this is just warm-up for next year when the real financial pain will be felt, I suppose.

Adding my voice

Perhaps it's a truism that we don't really appreciate our rights until we don't have them. When I was growing up I played "wedding" every chance I had, I dreamed about being a bride, I knew that no matter what else I did, I'd surely get married. And it was easy (maybe too easy) for me to do so--something I took completely for granted. But for my friends who happened to grow up gay or lesbian, that's not the case.

I never really thought much about same sex marriage until I moved to Vermont, where I happened to teach with one of the litigants in the court case that led to the passage of the nation's first civil union law. Listening to the debate, the rhetoric that was often ugly, juxtaposed with hearing my colleague talk about his love for his partner and their desire to have their relationship recognized and protected like any other couple helped me realize that there really is no compelling reason why same sex couples should not marry. (Let me add that I would extend this to religious as well as civil marriage).

Beyond that belief, though, is another thing: Civil rights should NEVER be put to the vote. The oppressor is seldom going to vote to extend rights to the oppressed. If integration had needed voter approval I suspect there are places that would still be segregated. Same sex marriage is no different. The courts have weighed in and determined that the rights and protections of marriage should be extended to same sex couples, and that should not be up for referendum.

Susan, over at Crunch Granola, wrote this the other day:

Proposition 8 is a California initiative that would eliminate the rights of California's same-sex couples to marry. As the most excellent No on 8 site explains, Proposition 8 is unnecessary, unfair, and just plain wrong. Lesbians and gays want to get married for the same sorts of reasons that straight people want to get married: we want to make a commitment to our partners; we want to assert our family status; we want our families to be protected in the event of tragedy...We love, we fight, we cook, we clean, we travel, we work, we snooze. We have big families, small families, and families in between. We eat meat, we're vegetarians, we participate in religious communities, or not. We live in the country and in the city. In the United States, we enjoy far more legal protections than at any other point in our history, but Proposition 8 could be a major setback to the marriage movement.

I can't vote in California but I'm adding my voice to the cause, and urging any of you who do live in CA to vote no on 8. I'm lucky to live in the first state to legalize same sex marriage, and I will do everything I can to protect that right for my gay and lesbian friends here. What about you?

Relieved

~and grateful.

~Baby J's MRI was today, and like her kidney ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, it was completely normal. Never has that word "normal" sounded so good.

~So for now things are looking as good as they could. Baby J had blood drawn today for a genetic analysis to check for the mutation associated with TSC, but it will be a few weeks before the results are in on that, and right now I just want to live with the gratitude I feel for "normal."

One week to go

~Hard to believe that this time next week it will all be over but the counting. Scary, too, as I sit here listening to the news on NPR and hearing both McCain and Palin ranting about Obama raising taxes and redistributing wealth.

~What will there be to talk about after two whole years of campaigning?

~I'm pretty careful not to talk politics at work. Most people can probably figure out what my political leanings are and who I'm for but I don't purposely engage in political debate.But yesterday I was sitting in my office with my door open while a group of older women were meeting in the next room to knit. A member of the congregation who is a local politician had stopped in to chat with them, and I almost lost it when I heard her repeating blatant lies about Obama--the kind of stuff that gets spread around the internet. Honestly, I knew this woman was a Republican but I never imagined she would fall for such crap. I held my tongue, but it was all I could do not to go out and call her on what she was saying.

~And maybe I should have--at least suggested she go to factchecker.com and check out what she was saying. But I didn't.

~I sure hope that this time next week we are having a big ol' party!

Spin

Spin--a particular bias, interpretation, or point of view, intended to create a favorable (or sometimes, unfavorable) impression when presented to the public.

~In this year of all campaigning all the time, it's impossible to get away from 'spin'. It's troubling enough in the political sphere, but when it starts to be applied to my own life, it's even worse. In the last week or so I've become keenly aware that my boss is spinning certain details about my job to justify some decisions he's made. It's not harmful to me in the long run (and so maybe I shouldn't care?) but I feel a bit manipulated and used, and I don't like it. And it puts me in the position of answering questions about my future plans in a less than perfectly honest way, which I also don't like. But there's not one thing I can do about it.

~Part of the spin is about some details in my contract. My understanding of those details is based on a conversation I very vividly remember having with him when I was offered the position; his understanding is apparently different, although he's never bothered to actually have a conversation with me about it. What I have learned from this (and some things that have come up in the past) is the realization that every detail, every jot and tittle needs to be in writing. The irony of this situation is that there never would have been any conflict over these details but he felt the need to spin them anyway.

~Yes, I feel a little bitter about this and I need to get over it. It's not worth wasting any more of my energy over. But it's hard not to be really, really annoyed.

Note to self

~When you sit down on the couch with the lap top to write a blog post, and wake up an hour and a half later to find yourself lying on the couch, computer still on lap, it's really time to go to bed.

Another time waster

Your result for The 4-Variable IQ Test...

Verbal

Your strongest type of intelligence is Verbal. You thrive on words, word games, and languages in general. I'm feeling insecure as I write this, because you are reading it. You see, language demands a certain level of recursive thought, and, as someone who just scored highly on it, I'm guessing you already noted the intentional dangling modifier I just put in this sentence. Didn't you? Smarty pants. 4-eyes.

Your specific scores follow. On any axis, a score above 25% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 25% means you use it less. It says nothing about cognitive skills, just your interest.

Your brain is roughly:

20% Interpersonal

20%Visual

45%Verbal

15%Mathematical

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice to the world.

1. Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 20%.

2. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 5%.

3. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 50%.

Take The 4-Variable IQ Test at HelloQuizzy

Friday Five~Location, location, location

~If I count correctly I've lived in 21 different houses/apartments in 10 states and 2 countries. I've posted about some of my favorites before, but here are my top five locations:

1. New York City--The Kid and I lived in an apartment in NYC for three years. It was a seminary apartment in a nice location across the street from the Close (the campus) and we loved it. It was just the right size for the two of us, it was comfortable, it had big windows and good light and wood floors. More important it was in a neighborhood that felt like a community, and it was in the city, which I loved. At heart, I think I am an urban person. I loved walking or taking public transportation, loved sitting in the corner cafe and watching the world go by, loved the green market and the parks and the museums. Just loved it.

2. Vermont--I moved there with a two year old and two teenagers to take my first teaching job after grad school. I feel in love with the area when I went on my interview: it was in March, there had been a big snow storm just before I arrived, and my first day there was a crystal clear cold day--cold but bearable to be outside. Something about being there still soothes my soul, and although I have no regrets about leaving academia for the priesthood, I am sorry that we could not go back to Vermont after seminary (no jobs, alas...). I lived there for 8 years; both the girls graduated high school and WW graduated college there. Both girls live there (NSLS full time and WW part time) and it's as close to a "home" with roots as I have.

3. Iceland--Lived there for three years in the early seventies. Gave birth to my firstborn there. It felt like an adventure, and it was, in fact, my first real time away from home. It's a beautiful place and I'm grateful for my time there.

4.Roanoke, VA--the location of the best three years of my childhood. We lived in a big brick house in a comfortable but not fancy neighborhood with lots of kids. We kids had the run of the neighborhood and could walk to school, or to the local swimming pool or to the movies. Kids would congregate at our house on summer evenings or after sledding in the winter. My best friend lived just one street over, and her dad taught us to play poker on her front porch--the same porch where we had marathon Barbie sessions. It truly was the most idyllic part of my childhood.

5. Charleston SC--lived there for 8 years. We moved there when TFoMC was stationed there on a submarine. NSLS was born there, I returned to school there and graduated with honors. I grew up there (finally) in many ways, and left to go to grad school in a different southern state. For a long time I though I'd like to return there, but I think that despite my deep southern roots, my heart is in the northeast now.

Are we outraged yet?

~The wardrobe is bad enough; this morning the NY Times is reporting that the highest paid person in the McCain-Palin campaign (at least during the first two weeks of October) is--are you ready--Sarah Palin's makeup artist. Who pulled in a cool $22,800 for that two weeks.

~I'm speechless. Really.

Will the real Sarah Palin please stand up?

~Ever since she received the VP nomination, Sarah Palin has represented herself as an average working class American, a hockey mom, someone who knows what it's like to sit around the kitchen table and worry about how to pay the bills. But more and more information trickles out that belies this image.

~Much has been written about the $150,000 spent on a wardrobe for Palin and her family.* No doubt they needed a wardrobe boost, no doubt Palin needs to look professional. But as the NY Times points out, her "look" has changed little--it just comes with designer labels these days (be sure to check out the slide show.) Why? What's more, according to NPR a Salon reporter went out to see what you could get for $150,000 and realized that she wasn't up for the task--she couldn't easily spend that amount. Could there be some excess involved, you think?

~NPR also pointed out that Palin is not without her own resources--she and her husband have assets worth aroung $1.5 million. In this day and age, it's unlikely that anyone will get very far in the political arena with out considerable financial resources; what galls me is the way Palin portrays herself as "ordinary", not an "elitist", a working class person. Excuse me? That just doesn't work anymore.

~What I don't understand is why people continue to cheer her on. If anything she is a mockery of the average working class people she claims to reprsent.

~*I don't think the clothes issue is particularly sexist, either. I would be equally critical of a male candidate who spent THAT MUCH on clothes, expensive men's suits not withstanding.

In the meme time...

It feels like there haven't been many memes circulating lately, but I have seen this one a couple of tines.

I rather like Katharine Hepburn; as for the descriptors --well,many of them are totally me, but a few are totally not.

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Katharine!

You are a Katharine -- "I am happy and open to new things"

Katharines are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute to the world.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.
• * Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.
• * Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.
• * Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.
• * Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people.
• * Don't tell me what to do.
  

What I Like About Being a Katharine

• * being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down
• * being spontaneous and free-spirited
• * being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.
• * being generous and trying to make the world a better place
• * having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures
• * having such varied interests and abilities

What's Hard About Being a Katharine

• * not having enough time to do all the things I want
• * not completing things I start
• * not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing; not making a commitment to a career
• * having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies
• * feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship
  

Katharines as Children Often

• * are action oriented and adventuresome
• * drum up excitement
• * prefer being with other children to being alone
• * finesse their way around adults
• * dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up
  

Katharines as Parents

• * are often enthusiastic and generous
• * want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life
• * may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive

Will the real Americans please stand up?

As seen at Angry Pregnant Lawyer's

In the closet

~Prompted in part by the aforementioned rummage sale, along with the realization that some time in the next year or so I'll be moving to a new place, I've been thinking about getting rid of things. I'm bit of a pack rat, but what I hold onto generally has some sentimental value or memory attached (which means it's all the more difficult to get rid of). But I've also learned the hard way that it's not good to let too much accumulate, and in this big house, it's very easy to let things accumulate.

~So this morning I started going through my closets, pulling out stuff I don't often wear. I was actually glad to get rid of some things I bought when I graduated from seminary, but never really liked. Then, in the very back of the closet, I found a stash of dresses that I had completely forgotten about--things I used to wear when I was teaching. And haven't worn since I started seminary in 2002. Ought to be easy to get rid of, right? But for some reason, I felt an unexpected attachment to those dresses. I know I won't wear them anymore--they still fit, but they are really out of style--but I found myself wavering about whether to hold onto them.

~Good sense did prevail, and most of them are already down at the rummage sale. One I washed because I really might wear it Two others are still hanging there but I think I will get rid of them tomorrow. But as I took them off the hangers and folded them, I had to ask myself, why the attachment? The dresses were nothing special--casual because that's how profs at my school dressed, and comfortable and warm because it was Vermont--and I've never once thought to wear one since I started working here. On reflection, though, I think perhaps I feel attached to those dresses because they are one of the last links to my life as a professor, a life I relished even though I gave it up after less than 10 years. When I started my job in Vermont, I thought that I would be there for the rest of my career, assuming I got tenure. I liked the college and I loved the area--something about living there just suited me. But by the time I got tenure, I already knew that my heart was being called elsewhere. Funny how these things work out.

~I loved teaching, but I don't really miss being a professor. I loved being on a college campus and I think I'd enjoy living in a college town, but I love working in a church, too. I think I made the right choices. I liked those dresses, but they are gone now, on to their next owner I hope, useful to someone, as I hope to be in this path I'm on now.

Blogiversary

~Three years ago today I posted my first blog entry. Who knew that I'd keep writing, or that blogging would introduce me to such a great community and so many interesting people--most of whom I know only in cyberspace, but some of whom I've had the pleasure of meeting in real life. And who knew that blogging would be come a family activity, or that it would become one way to keep up with friends from real life? Although I'm sure I spend way too much time on the computer, I am equally sure that blogging has enriched my life in ways I'd never imagined possible.

~So have some virtual bubbly on me, and thanks for being here!

Score!

~Twice a year the church has a huge rummage sale. The amount of stuff that is contributed to these sales is truly astounding. I confess that I'm not much of a rummager so although I usually take a peek at what's there, I rarely buy anything, or even get very excited about it. (And to be even more honest, for lots of reasons, the rummages sales are a huge PITA and I'd just as soon avoid them altogether if I could, but that's not possible). Any way, the fall sale is next weekend, and that means that starting today, people are dropping off their treasures. One of the first things to be dropped off was a stereo system--one with a 3-disc changer, dual tape deck, AND a turntable--vintage late 90s I'm guessing but in like new condition. The Kid took one look and said, "Sold!" Because, you see, in our hall closet was a bag of vinyl--yes, a dozen or so of my old albums from high school and the years shortly afterwards that my daughter found in my mil's house shortly before she died. I'd forgotten they existed, but boy, were they a walk down memory lane--John Denver, Carly Simon, John Lennon, Elton John, the Beatles, and Tommy by the Who. And the Kid had longed wanted to hear them.

~So we are now listening to Elton John and the Kid is marveling at the technology--how you have to listen to songs in order rather selecting individual tracks when you want them, how you have to be careful lifting the stylus up, how you can still hear the record playing faintly when you turn the volume all the way down, and so forth. He's also vowing to start looking for old records to buy now.

~All this reminds me of my dad who had a huge record collection dating back into the 40s. When Daddy was in high school he worked for a juke box company changing records, and he was allowed to keep the records that were no longer going to be used. So he had some really cool stuff. And he kept buying records right up until shortly before he died. After he died we had a discussion about what to do with his record collection, and my mother agreed not to get rid of it without allowing us kids to have some of it. But when my mom's house was emptied out, things were a little chaotic and there's no telling what became of the records. I'm guessing they are either packed up somewhere at my sister's house, or more likely, were sold. I sure wish I had them.

Wow. Just wow.

Colin Powell has endorsed Barack Obama for President. And take note of this quote:

Mr. Obama is a lifelong Christian, not a Muslim, he said. But, he added, “The really right answer is, what if he is?”

“Is there something wrong with being Muslim in America? No, that’s not America,” he said.

Amen to that!

Doing it the hard way

~I'm not much of a sports fan, but this time of year, living in Red Sox Nation, I get sucked in. So I've been sitting here checking the scores and they pulled it off--won game six to tie up the ALCS at 3 games each after being down 3-1. Go Sox!

Friday Five~Coin toss edition

1) When was the last time you flipped a coin or even saw one flipped in person?

Honestly, I can't remember.

2) Do you have any foreign coins in your house? If so, where are they from?

Oooh, let's see--Korea, Canada, England, China...maybe a few others.

3) A penny saved is a penny earned, they say. But let's get serious. Is there a special place in heaven for pennies, or do you think they'll find a special place in, well, the other place?

I keep a big basket full of change on the pantry counter. We use the quarters mostly, but the others, including LOTS of pennies, will get rolled up and turned in one of these days, or put in my United Thank Offering box. They are pretty useless otherwise, I guess, but I wouldn't consign them to "the other place." I remember too well penny candy and trick-or-treating for UNICEF and getting a box full of pennies to think of them negatively.

4) How much did you get from the tooth fairy when you were a child? and if you have children of your own, do they get coins, or paper money? (I hear there may be some inflation.)
Ha! Back in the dark ages I think I got a dime. My kids didn't get much, either--maybe a quarter or fifty cents. Cheap, I know.

5) Did anyone in your household collect the state quarters? And did anyone in your household manage to sustain the interest required to stick with it?

Yes, the Kid and I have been collecting them. We're only missing one from 2006 (Nebraska maybe?) and then Alaska, Hawaii, and Oklahoma from this year.

My laugh for the day

Indulge me

Live blogging the debate....sort of

~Taxes are not inherently evil. Taxes are the dues we pay for being members of society. They are meant to provide us with services. McCain seems to lose sight of this fact. At least Obama started to say that he didn't mind paying more taxes for himself.

~What are you going to cut? A freeze on spending is not the same thing.

~Songbird is live blogging, too, and I'm torn between commenting there or here....or both.

~Obama is so much more reasonable...and keeps his cool.

~Can you balance the budget? Ha!

~McCain: I am not Bush. ... I will balance our budgets. Americans are angry.

~What "conduct of the war" did McCain oppose that his party supported?

~I don't think Obama's campaign has been nearly as negative as McCain's...

~Ten town hall meetings? Spare us!

~So is McCain's tagline for tonight "I can prove it?"

~Enough already about Joe the Plumber!

~Okay--John Lewis--Obama is laying it out very well. And I still don't hear McCain repudiating the terrorist claims Palin keeps spouting.

~Oh puh-leeze..."the people who come to my rallies are the most patriotic...." So that makes it okay? There is no where near the level of vitriol at Obama rallies.

~McCain is over the top here about Ayers.

~I love that Obama is absolutely unflappable.

~Why would the country be better with your running mate? There is NO WAY McCain can get through this one!

~Sarah Palin is a role model for women? I think NOT. A reformer? Under investigation for an ethics violation? A breath of fresh air? Now he's playing the "special needs" card.

~I wish Obama had been harder on Palin's qualifications.

~Why does McCain ALWAYS get the last word?

~Obama hit the nail on the head when he said we had to cut costs AND provide more healthcare. McCain's $5000 tax credit is just not enough.

~Whoa--McCain just lumped coverage for cosmetic surgery and transplants into the same category of "gold-plated" health care. Really? And how can being taxed for my health care benefits be helpful even with a tax credit?

~Roe v. Wade and the Supreme Court: McCain--no litmus test, but qualifications important. But does anyone REALLY ignore ideology when it comes to supreme court justice nominations? Ah...here's the rub: anyone who opposes Roe v. Wade wouldn't have proper qualifications. Obama: no litmus test but RvW rightly decided. Strong support for choice--supported by constitutional right to privacy. Not really sure that Obama and McCain differ on this point about how they'd pick justices; clearly they differ on the issue of abortion.

~You go Obama: provide good education about sex and contraception.

~McCain: pro-abortion movement? Umm...not the same as pro-choice.

~Choice and competition in school...not so much. And when did we ever get to choose our elementary and high schools? The Kid went to school in NYC where there is choice, but the choice means cutthroat competition, and doesn't result in everyone having access to better schools by any means.

~At least Obama is willing to say that programs must be funded to work. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but it seems to have been overlooked all too often.

~Ooops. Doesn't McCain know that Palin's son has Down Syndrome, not autism?

~McCain, quit interrupting! And really, why does McCain get to diss Obama at the end of every question?

~Someone must've coached McCain not to say "my friends" tonight.

~Obama: We need fundamental change. Amen.

Fall goodness

Back safe home again

~Why does it always seem like it takes longer to get home from a trip than to get there? At least that's how it always seems to me. Or maybe I'm just fooling myself about how long it really takes to get from NSLS's to here. At any rate we pulled back in the driveway around 9:00 this evening.

~I'm really glad we went, even if it was a bit of a whirlwind trip. I really needed to get away from here for a few days. And it was good to spend time with Baby J and to see how wonderfully normal she is, how healthy and happy she seems to be. There is no doubt in my mind that developmentally she's right on target.

~Her renal ultrasound is this Friday morning---on of the things that needs to be checked out after the TSC diagnosis. Keeping my fingers crossed.

~I also really loved seeing all the fall splendor that New England has to offer. And driving through the mountains. And seeing the lake. It was great.

~I would be remiss if I failed to mention that the Kid thoroughly test out the Wii Mr. LS received for his birthday last week. And I, the one with no coordination, managed to beat everyone at Wii bowling.

~I have a full week ahead of me, and I have half a bushel of apples I need to use up--pie? Applesauce? Apple butter? We'll see.

~Meanwhile, here's another picture from our apple picking trip:

Apple picking and other treats

~Today was a gorgeous day--as only fall in New England can be. To celebrate the day we went apple picking, where Baby J enjoyed her first taste of apple--and she liked it. The apples were as gorgeous as the day, and we picked two big bags full--Golden Delicious, Cortlands, and Macintoshes. Yum.


















Late this afternoon we had another treat. NSLS, Baby J and I had a bloggy meetup with Crunchy Granola, Politica, and Curious Girl. If jo(e) had been there, one of us would've had to get naked; if Phantom had been there it would've been feet (and of course we wished you both had been there), but instead, we did this:

Road trip

~Fall in New England is really lovely. I was reminded of that today as we drove up to Vermont. Where I live in southern New England the leaves have barely started changing and the ones that have changed are dull colors. (Not sure why--too wet? too dry? just an off year?) But we were only 30-40 miles from home when the trees began to be the bright golds and reds that I love. Although the leaves were clearly past peak on the last half of our trip, they were still lovely. I realized that I haven't been in Vermont, or northern New England in general during the fall since I started seminary six years ago. So there's another reason I'm thankful for this trip.

~And it was a splendid day--clear bright blue skies, brilliant sun and warm temps. The drive up was great -- all except the hour plus we spent going 15-20 mph in the Granite State. Not sure why the traffic was so backed up, but it was annoying, and made the trip longer than necessary.

~I can't drive and take pictures, so no fall pix tonight. But tomorrow there should be outdoorsy pix--and baby pix as well. Baby J is cuter than ever, and it's amazing to me how much she's changed since we last saw her Labor Day Weekend. She scoots on her tummy and rolls to get things that are out of her reach and claps her hands when you ask her to. Clearly smart and happy as well as beautiful.

Packing

~WW went off to Nepal for several months with what she could carry in her back pack and a carry on. I'm going away for barely three days and packing for that seems like a monumental task. What's wrong with this picture?

Looking forward to the weekend

~It was a long day. Not a bad day, just very long.

~I have this weekend off, which is a very rare occurrence, given that it's not my vacation or anything. I asked for it off for a family thing that ended up not happening. But once I had it off, I decided that I would keep it off, having gone 28 straight days (until last week) without a whole day off.

~Having this weekend off also means that I get out of a task that I really didn't want to do, one that got set up while I was on vacation in August, one that no one consulted with me about even though it was just assumed that I would take care of it. And now I'm not, and I don't feel badly about that AT ALL.

~So Saturday morning the Kid and I are heading north for the weekend. It will be a quick trip, returning on Monday, and I'm hoping that traffic won't be too bad given a holiday weekend and leaf peepers. I just needed to get out of here, so we're going to Vermont to see NSLS and Mr. LS and of course, Baby J. I want to see some fall leaves. Maybe pick some apples. Take some pictures. Relax.

~Tomorrow is my normal day off, and I have errands to do and laundry. I also keep remembering things I needed to do today that didn't get done--phone calls to return, emails to send (both of which need to be taken care of before the weekend) so I guess I'll spend some time at the office, too. But hey, I still have the weekend!

Radom bullets of tiredness

~Long day at work, came home, ate dinner, drove the Kid to a meeting, stopped at the store, came home and baked bran muffins and pumpkin bread for tomorrow's breakfast group.

~I can list the things I find scary about John McCain--his attitude towards the war, his health care policy, his lack of judgment as reflected in his VP choice, among others. But what do people find scary about Obama? Really? That he's educated and articulate? That he's even tempered and not easily ruffled? That he's willing to be honest about the need for tax dollars and to place more of the burden on those who can most afford it? Or is it that he's a black man?

~WW is on her way to Kathmandu--a 40 hour trip. Yikes. I'm hoping she'll blog while she's there, but she didn't take her computer and will be depending on internet cafes.

~While I baked tonight I was listening to an NPR piece on all the ways people have tried to disenfanchise voters this year. Do we need to call in Jimmy Carter? Of course, after the 2000 debacle I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

~What does it mean for a whole country to go bankrupt? Is Iceland going to be the only one, or just the first?

~Now I should go to bed. I have to be up early, and I have a 12 hour day ahead of me. BUT I have the weekend off, and I am really, really looking forward to it.

I don't know if I can sit through this

~I have the debate on but I just don't know if I can bear to listen to it. I am really starting to dislike John McCain as much as I dislike GWB. Just saying.

~ETA: I made it, though I did doze off at the end and missed Obama's closing statement. Heard McCain's though--gah. Songbird did a great live blog; check it out, along with the comments.

Grief

~When Songbird wrote this post about grief just a week ago, I had no idea how soon I would be feeling some of what she described. I must say that what I most feel today is sadness, a sense of loss with a bit of denial and a smidge of anger--which just reinforces for me what I learned about Kubler-Ross' stages when I was teaching--often they're not stages per se, but emotions experienced in no set order.

~I do really appreciate all the kind comments on my previous post, and the good thoughts and prayers. And I am holding onto hope that things will be okay in the long run.

~Meanwhile NSLS sent me a cute picture of Baby J today--napping with the blankie I got for her a few weeks ago. NSLS herself had a beloved blankie, the story of which I told here . When NSLS was working to get Baby J to sleep better at night we wondered if a blankie would help, so I bought her a Taggie blanket . I have no idea if she'll become as attached to it as her mommy was to hers but we'll see. Isn't she sweet?

In the blink of an eye, life changes

~When Baby J was born, there was a small white mark on her inner thigh. The nurse noticed it and suggested that NSLS have her pediatrician take a look at it, which she did. At first I think they thought it might fade with time, but it didn't, and in fact, they discovered a few more small white spots on her body, so they were referred to a dermatologist who then referred them to a geneticist.

~On Friday NSLS, Mr. LS and Baby J saw the geneticist and the white spots were diagnosed as tuberous sclerosis complex. Because there is no history of this condition on either side of the family, the doctor is assuming that this is the result of a random mutation. Although this condition can be linked to autism, developmental delays, and seizures, Baby J has so far experienced no other symptoms, and has met all appropriate developmental milestones. In three weeks she will undergo a MRI to check for tumors--the primary result of this condition. Tumors, almost always benign but still dangerous, can grow on any of her organs. Many times they can be surgically removed, but will often reoccur. She will also see a pediatric ophthalmologist since her eyes can be affected.

~Many people with TSC live with few or no symptoms, but others can be seriously affected. We are, of course, hoping and praying that Baby J will be one of the former. It is still a blow, though, to hear that a seemingly thriving baby has a condition that has the potential to affect her for the rest of her life.

~So, in the blink of an eye, life changes. Of course, my first reaction was "It's not fair! Not our sweet Baby J!" But why should it be fair? And why not us? I think of all the others I know of who have things potentially much worse to deal with, and in my heart I try to be grateful that it is not worse. But it is hard.

~When I talked to NSLS yesterday and today she seemed to be handling it well. She and Mr. LS are of course worried, but at the same time, they remind themselves that Baby J is the same baby she was before they received this diagnosis, that she's not sick, per se. She'll require lots more monitoring. Their challenge, and mine I must admit, is to make this new reality "normal" as much as we can, not to disrupt Baby J's life, not to define her by this condition.

~Because I can catastrophize with the best of them, and because Dr. Google is right there to help me, I can picture all of the possible grim outcomes. But I don't want to go there. I want to picture that precious baby growing up to be a strong and vibrant woman. I want her to a have a normal and happy childhood. I want everything to be okay. Just what all parents and grandparents want. It just doesn't always turn out that way. But for now I am trying very hard to focus on how healthy and happy Baby J is now, and how blessed we are to have her.

More debate redux

~Lots on my mind tonight, but not ready to articulate it; in lieu of real blogging, take a look at this--spot on, I'd say.

Debate redux

~I know there is lots of commentary out there about last night's VP debate, but I'll quickly add my own two cents worth.

~I didn't really know much about Joe Biden and was lukewarmish about him as a running mate for Obama, but I came away from last night's debate feeling much more positive about him. His answers seemed thoughtful, he is knowledgeable about a wide variety of topics, he wasn't afraid to poke a little fun at himself, nor did he hide his emotions when he spoke of being a single dad.

~Palin, OTOH, came across as too cutesy, too folksy, and quite annoying. While she didn't stumble as badly as she' done in her interviews, her refusal to even attempt to address the questions asked seems inexcusable to me and I kept hoping Gwen Ifill would call her on it. And what's with the winking at the audience?

~I'm also surprised that no one (at least that I know of) in the media has called Palin on her "tolerance" towards gays and lesbians who have "chosen" a "lifestye" that she (Palin) wouldn't choose. Has she not been paying attention? Does she not realize that one's sexual orientation is more than choosing a "lifestyle?"

Please Don't Vote !

Random bits of Wednesday

~I don't know where September went, but here we are in October. It doesn't really feel much like fall here yet--it's cool, but it's also wet and only a few leaves are changing color. Yet I know winter will be here in the blink of an eye.

~I'm working on putting together a new parish directory and it has turned into the project from hell. Murphy's Law rules--if it could go wrong, it has. And I don't really have time to just work really hard on it for a day or two and get it done. So it sits there mocking me. Argh.

~Woman Warrior is here for a short visit before she leaves for Nepal next week. Seems like she just got home from Korea, and now she's leaving again. But what can you say--you raise them to be strong and independent and adventurous and when they turn out that way it hardly seems fair to complain.

~I've been watching more snippets of the Sarah Palin interview. Although I wouldn't have thought it possible, but she just keeps sounding worse--less intelligent, less informed. How can anyone take her seriously? The debate tomorrow night should be interestig.