Saturday, September 03, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Lord, have mercy
I grew up dreading nuclear war. I don't remember bomb drills in school, but I remember when magazines regularly ran articles about how to stock your backyard fallout shelter. I remember the black and yellow signs adorning public buildings, telling us we could take refuge there, and I remember the boxes of non-perishable food and barrels of water that you could sometimes glimpse passing through such areas. I remember the Cuban missile crisis, and my mother sitting on the edge of the couch, watching the news reports back in the days before 24-7 coverage, when a news bulletin interrupting a regular broadcast means something really momentous was happening. I remember Three Mile Island and Chernobyl and anti-nuke protests.
But I never imagined it being like this: a holocaust brought on by an event already tragic in its own right, a melt-down of such vast proportions, one that seems to spiral ever towards apocalypse. The NY Times says it's not yet as bad as Chernobyl; maybe it's just the non-stop pictures and commentary and the story of the last 50 workers left trying to prevent further catastrophe that make it seem much worse. Or maybe it's that I'm older and catastrophe seems more real to me, finitude more certain.
Nothing comes without cost; the people of Japan have more than once paid a tragic price for whatever good has come out of humans' ability to spilt the atom.
Lord have mercy on the people of Japan. Lord have mercy on us all.
But I never imagined it being like this: a holocaust brought on by an event already tragic in its own right, a melt-down of such vast proportions, one that seems to spiral ever towards apocalypse. The NY Times says it's not yet as bad as Chernobyl; maybe it's just the non-stop pictures and commentary and the story of the last 50 workers left trying to prevent further catastrophe that make it seem much worse. Or maybe it's that I'm older and catastrophe seems more real to me, finitude more certain.
Nothing comes without cost; the people of Japan have more than once paid a tragic price for whatever good has come out of humans' ability to spilt the atom.
Lord have mercy on the people of Japan. Lord have mercy on us all.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Friday Five~All about cars
I think I've written about this before, back when memes were all the thing, but here goes:
1. The earliest recollection you have of a family car
A black Plymouth two door sedan--probably a 1950 model? The front seats just folded forward without any kind of latch for us to get in the back, and I can remember sitting in the front by my mother who would always throw her right arm out when she braked, as if to hold me in place. No seatbelts, no car seats in those days. That car was replaced by a white 57 Ford with blue interior. I vividly remember my mother bringing my youngest brother home from the hospital in that car.
Later we had this car (56 Dodge wagon; apparently tri-tone paint was all the thing.) From this picture you can't really tell how absolutely HIDEOUS it was. We got this used and had it from the time I was 7 or 8 until I was in 8th grade. By then I was mortified to be seen in it. I was ever so grateful when my parents replaced it with a boring blue Chevy wagon--the car my dad drove into the river (see below).
2. The first car you drove when you could (legally) get behind the wheel yourself.
A green 1963 Corvair--with lots of rust spots that I covered up with daisy decals--hey, it was 1970, what can I say? I loved that car, but it used as much oil as gas and broke down frequently. THAT one was replace by a 1971 Pinto--did my parents know how to pick them or what?
3. A memorable road trip
When I lived in Iceland we decided to take a camping vacation around the island in our 72 baby blue Beetle (I've written about that trip in detail before.) The first day out a rock flew up and broke the windshield, but a local repair person was great about getting it fixed pronto. We forgot a piece of the tent pole and were bailed out by some great folks at a local hardware store at our first overnight stop (Akureryi). We forded a stream. We tackled back roads that led us to remote places. The Beetle was great, and thus my life-long love of VWs (I've had a Rabbit and a new Beetle since then, and they've been my favorite cars.)
4. The car you drive now. Love it? Hate it?
I drive a dark grey 2010 Subuaru Legacy and I like it a great deal. It's the only brand-spanking new car I've ever bought on my own, and it has amenities I've never had before--heated seats! a sunroof! among others--and AW drive which is why I chose a Subaru. It's a pleasure to drive. BUT I kinda miss my little red Beetle which I owned for 9 years. That car had personality!
5. An interesting story that involves you and a vehicle. (No, I do not have a dirty mind!)
How about the one where I was driving to my grandfather's funeral with my three kids, then about 11, 8, and 5--we pulled into my parents' driveway and my older son said, "Mom, there's smoke coming from under the hood!" I scoffingly said, "Oh it must just be some steam or something." He insisted so I popped the hood and sure enough, there were flames in the motor. I ran into the house yelling for someone to come help--my car was on fire! My father and brother-in-law thought I was just being an hysterical female and took their time, but when they got there the whole motor compartment was engulfed in flames. The firefighters arrived quickly and got it out before it reached the gas tank (!) but the car was a total loss.
Bonus story--my parents gained some notoriety when I was in high school when my dad drove our car right into a river. Out for a Sunday drive they stopped at a small one-car ferry, and my dad left the car running while they waited for the ferry to get back to their side of the river. He heard a noise under the car, and when he opened the door and leaned out to check on it, his foot sipped off the brake and hit the gas, and into the river they went. Now my dad couldn't swim, so it's probably a good thing that he fell right out of the car, but my little brother and my mother sat in the car while it sank--which I don't think took too long--and then rolled down a window to get out (I worry now about what would happen with electric windows!). I was at home and my dad called me to say they'd be a little late because they had run into a "little bit of water" Ha! Later they arrived in a state police car, dressed in what I remember looking like the Beverly Hillbillies clothes. Of course I was mortified when it was on the front page of the local paper.
Bonus: Good car music = oldies rock and roll, but often when we travel the Kid and I listen to Harry Potter--no matter how many times we've heard it, it's still good.
And a fwiw....I have never been a car buff, but I have an uncany ability to recognize cars from the 50s through the 70s. It's weird, but the Kid will verify it.
A black Plymouth two door sedan--probably a 1950 model? The front seats just folded forward without any kind of latch for us to get in the back, and I can remember sitting in the front by my mother who would always throw her right arm out when she braked, as if to hold me in place. No seatbelts, no car seats in those days. That car was replaced by a white 57 Ford with blue interior. I vividly remember my mother bringing my youngest brother home from the hospital in that car.
2. The first car you drove when you could (legally) get behind the wheel yourself.
3. A memorable road trip
4. The car you drive now. Love it? Hate it?
I drive a dark grey 2010 Subuaru Legacy and I like it a great deal. It's the only brand-spanking new car I've ever bought on my own, and it has amenities I've never had before--heated seats! a sunroof! among others--and AW drive which is why I chose a Subaru. It's a pleasure to drive. BUT I kinda miss my little red Beetle which I owned for 9 years. That car had personality!
5. An interesting story that involves you and a vehicle. (No, I do not have a dirty mind!)
How about the one where I was driving to my grandfather's funeral with my three kids, then about 11, 8, and 5--we pulled into my parents' driveway and my older son said, "Mom, there's smoke coming from under the hood!" I scoffingly said, "Oh it must just be some steam or something." He insisted so I popped the hood and sure enough, there were flames in the motor. I ran into the house yelling for someone to come help--my car was on fire! My father and brother-in-law thought I was just being an hysterical female and took their time, but when they got there the whole motor compartment was engulfed in flames. The firefighters arrived quickly and got it out before it reached the gas tank (!) but the car was a total loss.
Bonus story--my parents gained some notoriety when I was in high school when my dad drove our car right into a river. Out for a Sunday drive they stopped at a small one-car ferry, and my dad left the car running while they waited for the ferry to get back to their side of the river. He heard a noise under the car, and when he opened the door and leaned out to check on it, his foot sipped off the brake and hit the gas, and into the river they went. Now my dad couldn't swim, so it's probably a good thing that he fell right out of the car, but my little brother and my mother sat in the car while it sank--which I don't think took too long--and then rolled down a window to get out (I worry now about what would happen with electric windows!). I was at home and my dad called me to say they'd be a little late because they had run into a "little bit of water" Ha! Later they arrived in a state police car, dressed in what I remember looking like the Beverly Hillbillies clothes. Of course I was mortified when it was on the front page of the local paper.
Bonus: Good car music = oldies rock and roll, but often when we travel the Kid and I listen to Harry Potter--no matter how many times we've heard it, it's still good.
And a fwiw....I have never been a car buff, but I have an uncany ability to recognize cars from the 50s through the 70s. It's weird, but the Kid will verify it.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Ash Wednesday
So my 40th high school reunion is this year (yes, I am THAT old, and I expect that this reunion will provide much blog fodder in the months to come.) I haven't been back to the town where my high school is in more than 20 years. My parents moved away from there not long after I graduated, and since I was divorced from tFoMC (my high school sweetheart whose parents lived there) there has been little reason to return. I haven't attended any reunions. I'm not sure why I didn't go to the 10th; at the 20th I was in Florida in grad school and pregnant with the Kid, and if there was a 30th I didn't hear about it. But thanks to FB, this one is attracting a lot of attention and I'm seeing names of people I havent' thought of it, well years--40 years for some of them.
Tonight just before my last service of the day I clicked on a FB message from our Class of 71 group, only to find a list of class members who have died. Oh my. Seeing those names of classmates, friends, crushes, even though I haven't thought of them in years, was sobering. The girl who tried to commit suicide in 10th grade. The guy who married his 8th grade girl friend. The funny girl who rode my bus. The president of the student government. All gone on to greater glory.
I went into church and sat in the quiet before the service and I thought about ashes. Remember that you are dust and to dust you shall return.
Rest in peace Leslie, and Susan, and Susan, and Joey and Ralph, and Kenny, and Audrey, and Trudy, and Lee, and the ones whose names are unknown to me. Rest in peace.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday Five~~Fave Verses
I'm an Episcopalian, and we're not known for being as "biblical" as some denominations (although I would argue that point; while we don't emphasis memorization of scripture, we don't do "sword drills" and such, and we don't tend to read the bible literally, we do hear 4 pieces of scripture in every Sunday service, and our liturgy is FULL of scripture). I grew up hearing bible stories, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I really learned anything about the bible. It was transformational for me when I realized that it really did have something to do with how I lived my life. So following Songbird, who once served on a search committee that asked candidates about their favorite bible verses, here are (some of) mine (in no particular order):
1. Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God (in Christ Jesus our Lord.)
Not too much I can say about that. I have this embroidered on my white stole. I believe it. And the parentheses? Well, I tend to be a universalist when it comes to the love of God. I know it through Jesus, but others know it other ways.
2. Micah 6:8
He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
If you get an email from my realname address, you will find this as part of my "signature." Another one that just kind of says it all for me.
3. Matthew 25:44-45
Then they also will answer, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?” Then he will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.”
1. Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God (in Christ Jesus our Lord.)
Not too much I can say about that. I have this embroidered on my white stole. I believe it. And the parentheses? Well, I tend to be a universalist when it comes to the love of God. I know it through Jesus, but others know it other ways.
2. Micah 6:8
He has told you, O mortal, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
If you get an email from my realname address, you will find this as part of my "signature." Another one that just kind of says it all for me.
3. Matthew 25:44-45
Then they also will answer, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?” Then he will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.”
This is why I give money to street people. This is why I believe in universal health care (and other things that earn me the label 'bleeding heart liberal' and 'socialist'.) And it sort of goes along with the caution about "entertaining angels unawares." Maybe it appeals to me because I grew up in the "war on poverty" era, believing that we are called to care for one another. Or maybe I believe that because this is in my 'collective conscious' (to be Jungian about it.)
4. Matthew 5:38-48
‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you
‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
4. Matthew 5:38-48
‘You have heard that it was said, “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you
‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax-collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters,what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Like the passage above, when I first read and heard this seriously as an adult, it seemed to give validation and purpose to things I already (sort of, mostly) believed. Maybe that's bass ackwards, but that's how it is.
5. Matthew 6:34
‘So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
5. Matthew 6:34
‘So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
My New Testament prof used to quote this all the time during our first year of seminary, and it was always very comforting to hear it--still is. Something I try to remember.
Wow, in writing this post I realize that I have a LOT more favorites than I realized, because I have only touched the tip of the iceberg here. Now if only I lived them out as well as I should...a work in progress.
Biblical verses from Oremus Bible Browser Because I don't know them all by chapter and verse!
Friday, January 07, 2011
Friday Five~~Holiday Redux
1) What food item was one of your favorites this year - a definite keeper?
Baked pineapple and cheese for Christmas dinner (usually with ham) has become a family tradition and is a keeper for sure.
2) Was there a meal or party or a gathering that stands out in your mind from this most recent holiday season?
I really enjoyed having my family--kids and grandkids--gathered here for Christmas. Because of our varied and hectic work schedules that doesn't happen every year, so it was extra special. One of my favorite moments was one of the days after Christmas. Because of the snow we were housebound, and we were gathered in the living room around the fire. The Kid picked up his guitar and started playing and pretty soon, everyone in the room had one of the instruments from Baby M's rhythm band set and we were all singing along. It was great.
3) Were you involved in a jaw-dropper gift? Were you the giver or recipient or an on-looker?
Not sure we really had any jaw-droppers, but I think the person who was most excited about his gift was Mr. LS who received the P90X videos from me, and was ridiculously happy about it.
4) Was there at least one moment where you experienced true worship?
At the 5:00 service on Christmas Eve in the parish we joined in with there was a Christmas pageant. I love Christmas pageants, but usually they are stressful because I am worrying about some detail or other. Because I had no responsibility, I could just enjoy it. I was sitting on a side pew up front, and Baby M wandered up and sat on my lap, and for a bit I was able to just be in the magic of Christmas.
5) What is at least one thing you want to make sure you do next year?
I let the stocking gifts fall through the cracks this year, and if WW hadn't been so prepared, there would have been none, so I need to do better on that!
I really loved my tree this year and felt less stressed out about it than usual. Next year I'd like to replicate that and maybe even buy it a little earlier than usual.
I haven't baked Christmas cookies in years and I meant to this year, but with all the craziness at work, it just didn't happen. I got a new stand mixer for Christmas, and I really want to bake next year for sure.
BONUS: What is something you absolutely must remember to do differently... or not at all!
NO BUILDING DRAMA at church next year...please.
January, thank God!
November and December kicked my butt, workwise.
I went off to CREDO the second week of November and because I took a couple of extra days to visit my mom, I was gone for 11 days. Right before I left my parish secretary left to take a new position, but a volunteer stepped in, and I left fairly confident, assuming that things were in place so that when I got home we'd ready for Thanksgiving and Advent.
Well, you know what they say about assuming...
I hit the ground running when I got home--I had a meeting of the nominating committee that very evening, just a few hours after I got off the train. I prepped the Thanksgiving bulletin, I pulled out the Advent plans...
Except I could never get any momentum going. Because everywhere I looked there was a crisis of some sort, a fire to put out, a pastoral issue that needed my attention, a problem with the building, a ruffled feather here and a hurt feeling there. It was as if that Mayhem character from the Allstate commercials had been running amok through the parish.
It was awful.
Of course we kept on ...Advent wasn't bad, really, although I was too rushed to really feel it. But all sorts of things fell through the cracks and/or were done hurriedly--newsletters, getting the results of our pledge campaign really put together, finding candidates for vestry. Some hard conversations were had. Some grim facts were faced. In the midst of a very sad death and a very large funeral there were moments of grace. We hired a wonderful new parish administrator. And then came Christmas.
As I've already written, the boilers that heat the church and parish hall both failed in the days leading up to Christmas, and a large steam pipe that runs through our downstairs space sprang a devastating leak. Suddenly all the other crises dimmed in comparison as we scrambled to see how bad the situation really was, and when we found out, how fast we could get the repairs done. And of course, what do to about Christmas.
The decision not to have Christmas in our own building was hard. And it didn't please everyone. But it did bring its own moments of grace. Worshiping in a new and different setting with a congregation that was largely unknown to me gave me a different perspective. As much as I love old beautiful churches, I realized in a new way that we are far too married to our buildings. As much as I appreciate the deep roots people have in congregations where their families have worshiped for generations, maybe it is time for us to think about how we build new communities and develop new ways of being church.
I took most of the week after Christmas off. After my family left (and it was really wonderful having them here) I just vegged out. Went to the movies twice. Exchanged some gifts. Because I didn't have to preach Sunday (because we had a service of Lessons and Carols postponed from the previous week), I spent all of Saturday doing what much of the world does on Saturday: cleaning and cooking and baking. I think I really needed that time.
Monday morning the whirlwind started up again. Not all of the drama has subsided. I need to really catch up on all the things that fell into or through the cracks in December. We don't have enough candidates for vestry. Our budget deficit is bigger than ever before. We have a third boiler (circa 1975) that could fail--or it could be good for another 10 years; who knows? I need new volunteers for almost everything that happens at church, and I'm not sure where they are coming from. I could be overwhelmed if I let myself. But I guess that is the nature of parish ministry.
I went off to CREDO the second week of November and because I took a couple of extra days to visit my mom, I was gone for 11 days. Right before I left my parish secretary left to take a new position, but a volunteer stepped in, and I left fairly confident, assuming that things were in place so that when I got home we'd ready for Thanksgiving and Advent.
Well, you know what they say about assuming...
I hit the ground running when I got home--I had a meeting of the nominating committee that very evening, just a few hours after I got off the train. I prepped the Thanksgiving bulletin, I pulled out the Advent plans...
Except I could never get any momentum going. Because everywhere I looked there was a crisis of some sort, a fire to put out, a pastoral issue that needed my attention, a problem with the building, a ruffled feather here and a hurt feeling there. It was as if that Mayhem character from the Allstate commercials had been running amok through the parish.
It was awful.
Of course we kept on ...Advent wasn't bad, really, although I was too rushed to really feel it. But all sorts of things fell through the cracks and/or were done hurriedly--newsletters, getting the results of our pledge campaign really put together, finding candidates for vestry. Some hard conversations were had. Some grim facts were faced. In the midst of a very sad death and a very large funeral there were moments of grace. We hired a wonderful new parish administrator. And then came Christmas.
As I've already written, the boilers that heat the church and parish hall both failed in the days leading up to Christmas, and a large steam pipe that runs through our downstairs space sprang a devastating leak. Suddenly all the other crises dimmed in comparison as we scrambled to see how bad the situation really was, and when we found out, how fast we could get the repairs done. And of course, what do to about Christmas.
The decision not to have Christmas in our own building was hard. And it didn't please everyone. But it did bring its own moments of grace. Worshiping in a new and different setting with a congregation that was largely unknown to me gave me a different perspective. As much as I love old beautiful churches, I realized in a new way that we are far too married to our buildings. As much as I appreciate the deep roots people have in congregations where their families have worshiped for generations, maybe it is time for us to think about how we build new communities and develop new ways of being church.
I took most of the week after Christmas off. After my family left (and it was really wonderful having them here) I just vegged out. Went to the movies twice. Exchanged some gifts. Because I didn't have to preach Sunday (because we had a service of Lessons and Carols postponed from the previous week), I spent all of Saturday doing what much of the world does on Saturday: cleaning and cooking and baking. I think I really needed that time.
Monday morning the whirlwind started up again. Not all of the drama has subsided. I need to really catch up on all the things that fell into or through the cracks in December. We don't have enough candidates for vestry. Our budget deficit is bigger than ever before. We have a third boiler (circa 1975) that could fail--or it could be good for another 10 years; who knows? I need new volunteers for almost everything that happens at church, and I'm not sure where they are coming from. I could be overwhelmed if I let myself. But I guess that is the nature of parish ministry.
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Random bits of blogging the New Year
~In just about four minutes 2010 will be over and 2011 will commence. I guess it's tradition now for me to blog in the New Year; maybe it's a testament to how dull and boring my life can be that I am sitting here with my laptop every New Year's Eve at midnight.
~For a few years I did the 'year in review' meme in which I posted the first sentence of of each month's first post, but I haven't blogged every month in 2010, so that meme won't be happening here. I've been thinking all day about this past year; in many ways it's been fairly uneventful. If 2009 was the year of change for me, 2010 is the year I had to live into that change.
~Well. it's midnight now--Happy New Year!! I hear fire works going off outside but I have no idea where they are coming from.
~One of the big parts of living into the changes has been learning to live all by myself. In some ways I don't mind it. I'm an introvert and after work sometimes all I want is some quiet time. But I've discovered that I really miss having kids at home with me. I was never a helicopter parent, never one to call my kids alot when they were away, and never expected to suffer from any sort of "empty nest" thing, but now that they are all out of the house, I really miss them.
~I have never lived near family--we left my father's home town when I was 8, and I've never lived closer than three hours to family since then. So I'm not used to frequent family gatherings like some people have; it was just never possible. But if I could, I'd move closer to my daughters--I'd really love to be able to see J and M more often and be actively involved in their lives. And I'd like it if the Kid were close by, too. I talk to him pretty often now that he's in the city, and it's nice to stay connected that way.
~The other change I've lived in to is being "in charge." They did tell us in seminary that being rector meant worrying about buildings and money as much as (or more than) anything else, and it's true. This year has been full of those issues: we lost five out of nine air conditioning units, and two out of three boilers in the last five months. Our budget deficit is so big it's sort of like thinking about the national debt (proportionately). Negativity is rampant. Of course there is much to love about what I do, and I'm glad to be here. But sometimes it is hard not to get sucked into that black hole of despair about how in the world things are going to work out.
~ And now it's time for bed. Happy New Year, everyone. May 2011 be a year filled with blessings!
~For a few years I did the 'year in review' meme in which I posted the first sentence of of each month's first post, but I haven't blogged every month in 2010, so that meme won't be happening here. I've been thinking all day about this past year; in many ways it's been fairly uneventful. If 2009 was the year of change for me, 2010 is the year I had to live into that change.
~Well. it's midnight now--Happy New Year!! I hear fire works going off outside but I have no idea where they are coming from.
~One of the big parts of living into the changes has been learning to live all by myself. In some ways I don't mind it. I'm an introvert and after work sometimes all I want is some quiet time. But I've discovered that I really miss having kids at home with me. I was never a helicopter parent, never one to call my kids alot when they were away, and never expected to suffer from any sort of "empty nest" thing, but now that they are all out of the house, I really miss them.
~I have never lived near family--we left my father's home town when I was 8, and I've never lived closer than three hours to family since then. So I'm not used to frequent family gatherings like some people have; it was just never possible. But if I could, I'd move closer to my daughters--I'd really love to be able to see J and M more often and be actively involved in their lives. And I'd like it if the Kid were close by, too. I talk to him pretty often now that he's in the city, and it's nice to stay connected that way.
~The other change I've lived in to is being "in charge." They did tell us in seminary that being rector meant worrying about buildings and money as much as (or more than) anything else, and it's true. This year has been full of those issues: we lost five out of nine air conditioning units, and two out of three boilers in the last five months. Our budget deficit is so big it's sort of like thinking about the national debt (proportionately). Negativity is rampant. Of course there is much to love about what I do, and I'm glad to be here. But sometimes it is hard not to get sucked into that black hole of despair about how in the world things are going to work out.
~ And now it's time for bed. Happy New Year, everyone. May 2011 be a year filled with blessings!
Friday, December 31, 2010
The other part of Christmas
So along with all the drama at work about boilers and steam pipes (and large funerals and budget discussions and other sundry things I didn't mention), I hosted Christmas here this year. Which I was very happy to do. With my work schedule it's easier in some ways not to have to travel, and I have a great house for everyone to gather in. But that also meant that the pressure was on to get the shopping, decorating, cleaning and so on done in a timely manner. I'm awful about being last minute...some of it is intentional--I just refuse to start Christmas as early as many do, some of it is my personality which seems to prefer last minute pressure, and some of it is work--long days mean when I come home I just want to veg out.
This year, Amazon was my friend, and almost all my shopping was done on line in one fell swoop, which was great in many ways. But all those boxes piled up in the back room, demanding to be sorted and wrapped--sort of like they were glaring at me every time I came in the door. I bought the tree in plenty of time--really it was the easiest tree-buying ever: I went to Whole Foods where they had gorgeous Fraser firs and bought the first one I saw and the guys stuffed it into my car. It was the heaviest tree I can remember and it is beautifully fat and full, and just brushes the ceiling. And it took me three nights to decorate.
WW, Mr. WW, and Baby M arrived first, on the day before Christmas Eve, and the Kid came in from the city that night. I managed to have all their presents wrapped and under the tree before they got here, and all the grocery shopping done, and the house was clean because the domestic goddess also came that day. That was also the day that the second boiler went, so I was feeling pretty stressed. On the up side, it meant I could forget about sermon writing, so I spent all of Christmas Eve afternoon wrapping the rest of the gifts. For the first time in at least 30 years I did not have to stay up until the wee hours surreptitiously wrapping while everyone else slept. Amazing.
After the early service at the neighboring church, we all came home and had dinner and then I went back to church, and WW and the Kid started baking...and were still baking when I came home: apple pie, chocolate tart, and a pie crust for me to use the next day, and sweet potato biscuits for Christmas dinner. So even though I didn't have to wrap presents, I stayed up late with them and helped them clean up.
Christmas morning I got ready for church while Baby M had some breakfast and then he started opening presents. Only he is very very slow and deliberate so he actually only opened two before I left. Which was okay because NSLS, Mr. LS, and Little J were coming in that afternoon after being with Mr. LS's family for a few days. When I got home from church M was napping and I started in prepping Christmas dinner: Baked ham, pineapple and cheese, green beans, kale chips (which Mr. LS made when he arrived) and my contribution to dessert: pecan pie. What I really wanted was a nap, but that was not in the cards.
NSLS and her family arrived around 3, and full on present-opening commenced. J is old enough to really enjoy it now, and is sweetly thrilled by everything. M got into it, too, after he got warmed up. And it was a great Christmas evening.
Everyone stayed until Tuesday, and it's a good thing that was the plan because Sunday afternoon we were hit with the Great Christmas Blizzard of '10. The wind fairly howled, and we felt every draft in this old house, but we also had a roaring fire and we spent our time playing with Christmas toys (at one point we had a great sing along session with M's rhythm instruments) and, after the kids went to bed, board games. J and I ventured out into the snow once, but it was just too windy and cold to stay out.
It really was a lovely Christmas, and I loved having everyone here for a few days. The house is way too quiet when everyone leaves. So Tuesday afternoon, the Kid and I decided to go to see Harry Potter 7.1 ~ we've had a long standing tradition to see those movies for his birthday since that is usually when they come out, but we hadn't managed to see this one yet. Annoyingly, the projection system wasn't working very well, but the bonus was they gave us all free passes to compensate for the less than perfect picture (really it was fine after they got it into focus, just a bit smaller than usual on the screen but they spent 10+ minutes trying to fix it). I won't say no to free movie tickets, so the next day we went back and saw The King's Speech, which is really excellent--go see it! Colin Firth was really really good as George VI.
The Kid left yesterday to visit his high school friends, and I went back to work--sort of because it was, until late yesterday, still quite cold everywhere except the main office. One boiler is up and running and hopefully Sunday we'll be back to "normal"--whatever that is!
And that's Christmas 2010.
This year, Amazon was my friend, and almost all my shopping was done on line in one fell swoop, which was great in many ways. But all those boxes piled up in the back room, demanding to be sorted and wrapped--sort of like they were glaring at me every time I came in the door. I bought the tree in plenty of time--really it was the easiest tree-buying ever: I went to Whole Foods where they had gorgeous Fraser firs and bought the first one I saw and the guys stuffed it into my car. It was the heaviest tree I can remember and it is beautifully fat and full, and just brushes the ceiling. And it took me three nights to decorate.
WW, Mr. WW, and Baby M arrived first, on the day before Christmas Eve, and the Kid came in from the city that night. I managed to have all their presents wrapped and under the tree before they got here, and all the grocery shopping done, and the house was clean because the domestic goddess also came that day. That was also the day that the second boiler went, so I was feeling pretty stressed. On the up side, it meant I could forget about sermon writing, so I spent all of Christmas Eve afternoon wrapping the rest of the gifts. For the first time in at least 30 years I did not have to stay up until the wee hours surreptitiously wrapping while everyone else slept. Amazing.
After the early service at the neighboring church, we all came home and had dinner and then I went back to church, and WW and the Kid started baking...and were still baking when I came home: apple pie, chocolate tart, and a pie crust for me to use the next day, and sweet potato biscuits for Christmas dinner. So even though I didn't have to wrap presents, I stayed up late with them and helped them clean up.
Christmas morning I got ready for church while Baby M had some breakfast and then he started opening presents. Only he is very very slow and deliberate so he actually only opened two before I left. Which was okay because NSLS, Mr. LS, and Little J were coming in that afternoon after being with Mr. LS's family for a few days. When I got home from church M was napping and I started in prepping Christmas dinner: Baked ham, pineapple and cheese, green beans, kale chips (which Mr. LS made when he arrived) and my contribution to dessert: pecan pie. What I really wanted was a nap, but that was not in the cards.
NSLS and her family arrived around 3, and full on present-opening commenced. J is old enough to really enjoy it now, and is sweetly thrilled by everything. M got into it, too, after he got warmed up. And it was a great Christmas evening.
Everyone stayed until Tuesday, and it's a good thing that was the plan because Sunday afternoon we were hit with the Great Christmas Blizzard of '10. The wind fairly howled, and we felt every draft in this old house, but we also had a roaring fire and we spent our time playing with Christmas toys (at one point we had a great sing along session with M's rhythm instruments) and, after the kids went to bed, board games. J and I ventured out into the snow once, but it was just too windy and cold to stay out.
It really was a lovely Christmas, and I loved having everyone here for a few days. The house is way too quiet when everyone leaves. So Tuesday afternoon, the Kid and I decided to go to see Harry Potter 7.1 ~ we've had a long standing tradition to see those movies for his birthday since that is usually when they come out, but we hadn't managed to see this one yet. Annoyingly, the projection system wasn't working very well, but the bonus was they gave us all free passes to compensate for the less than perfect picture (really it was fine after they got it into focus, just a bit smaller than usual on the screen but they spent 10+ minutes trying to fix it). I won't say no to free movie tickets, so the next day we went back and saw The King's Speech, which is really excellent--go see it! Colin Firth was really really good as George VI.
The Kid left yesterday to visit his high school friends, and I went back to work--sort of because it was, until late yesterday, still quite cold everywhere except the main office. One boiler is up and running and hopefully Sunday we'll be back to "normal"--whatever that is!
And that's Christmas 2010.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Let me tell you about our Christmas...Part I
~About a week and a half before Christmas, the director of the preschool that rents space in our basement showed me a big wet spot on the carpet and a leak in the pipe that runs along the wall. It's a steam pipe for the heating system and we had to replace a big hunk of it on the other side of the building just about this time last year. Big sigh...we called the plumber and the news kept getting worse. Turns out we have to replace that pipe on the whole length of the building--through the preschool and the food bank beside. it.The only good news is that the work can be done between Christmas and New Year's while the preschool is closed.
~The Friday just a week before Christmas, even as the plumber is still giving us an estimate to replace the steam pipe, I look out the window to see a truck from the company that services our boilers in the parking lot. Not good, I think, and later I go over to see what's up. Seems like someone had noticed a lot of steam coming from our chimney and suggested we should get it checked, and sure enough, one of the two main boilers has gone kerfluey and will have to be replaced. The heating guys fix it so one boiler can heat the church for the weekend, and promise to try to get a new boiler in before Christmas. On Sunday the church is chilly but bearable with just one boiler running. [There is a third boiler but it only heats my office and the church school space upstairs.]
~It takes longer to get a new boiler than we expected but with the one boiler keeping things bearable, we think we'll be okay. Then on Thursday, the day before Christmas Eve, I walk into a freezing church and the maintenance guy says, "Ready for some more bad news?" Yes, indeed, the second main boiler--the one that is only two years and 25 days old--has failed. We have NO heat in the church or the Parish Hall. And no hope of getting either boiler repaired before Christmas.
~Meanwhile it's getting colder outside, and snow is forecast for the weekend. It's about 40 F in the church and I'm not sure whether to be more worried about the pipes all freezing in an unheated building or folks coming into a freezing building for Christmas Eve services. After consulting with the senior warden, I decide there is no choice but to cancel all the services for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the first Sunday after Christmas--heartbreaking but I see no alternatives. We briefly discuss renting space heaters but fear that they would overload our electrical circuits. There is a large fireplace in the Parish Hall and someone suggested that we just build a roaring fire and gather round that on Christmas Eve but I am skeptical.
~The brand new office manager who has spent her first week perfecting the many Christmas bulletins (which are now superfluous) emails and calls everyone in our directory to give them the news and I call my friend the priest who happens to be the priest-in-charge of the church in the next town over, and ask her if we might join them for Christmas services.
~If there is any good news in this whatsoever it's that the second boiler was likely defective from the beginning and we shouldn't have to pay for it. At that news I'm ready to sing the Hallelujah chorus. And the almost sort of good news is that I can abandon my sermon writing, freeing up some time for other things--like wrapping presents and SLEEP.
~So on Christmas Eve I drive to church [and that's the first time since I moved to NYC for seminary that I've driven to work for services b/c I've always been able to walk] and join the neighboring congregation for a lovely service. WW and Mr. WW and the Kid are there, and baby M sits on my lap as we watch the Christmas pageant. I return the next day, and the next [it's the perfect storm of Christmas with services on Friday, Saturday and Sunday] and some of our parishioners attend as well. It's different but it gives me a new perspective on Christmas services...and lots to think about churches and buildings. And as I drive home after the last service on Sunday the first flakes of the great Christmas blizzard of '10 are beginning to fall.
~The REST of Christmas in Part 2...
~The Friday just a week before Christmas, even as the plumber is still giving us an estimate to replace the steam pipe, I look out the window to see a truck from the company that services our boilers in the parking lot. Not good, I think, and later I go over to see what's up. Seems like someone had noticed a lot of steam coming from our chimney and suggested we should get it checked, and sure enough, one of the two main boilers has gone kerfluey and will have to be replaced. The heating guys fix it so one boiler can heat the church for the weekend, and promise to try to get a new boiler in before Christmas. On Sunday the church is chilly but bearable with just one boiler running. [There is a third boiler but it only heats my office and the church school space upstairs.]
~It takes longer to get a new boiler than we expected but with the one boiler keeping things bearable, we think we'll be okay. Then on Thursday, the day before Christmas Eve, I walk into a freezing church and the maintenance guy says, "Ready for some more bad news?" Yes, indeed, the second main boiler--the one that is only two years and 25 days old--has failed. We have NO heat in the church or the Parish Hall. And no hope of getting either boiler repaired before Christmas.
~Meanwhile it's getting colder outside, and snow is forecast for the weekend. It's about 40 F in the church and I'm not sure whether to be more worried about the pipes all freezing in an unheated building or folks coming into a freezing building for Christmas Eve services. After consulting with the senior warden, I decide there is no choice but to cancel all the services for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the first Sunday after Christmas--heartbreaking but I see no alternatives. We briefly discuss renting space heaters but fear that they would overload our electrical circuits. There is a large fireplace in the Parish Hall and someone suggested that we just build a roaring fire and gather round that on Christmas Eve but I am skeptical.
~The brand new office manager who has spent her first week perfecting the many Christmas bulletins (which are now superfluous) emails and calls everyone in our directory to give them the news and I call my friend the priest who happens to be the priest-in-charge of the church in the next town over, and ask her if we might join them for Christmas services.
~If there is any good news in this whatsoever it's that the second boiler was likely defective from the beginning and we shouldn't have to pay for it. At that news I'm ready to sing the Hallelujah chorus. And the almost sort of good news is that I can abandon my sermon writing, freeing up some time for other things--like wrapping presents and SLEEP.
~So on Christmas Eve I drive to church [and that's the first time since I moved to NYC for seminary that I've driven to work for services b/c I've always been able to walk] and join the neighboring congregation for a lovely service. WW and Mr. WW and the Kid are there, and baby M sits on my lap as we watch the Christmas pageant. I return the next day, and the next [it's the perfect storm of Christmas with services on Friday, Saturday and Sunday] and some of our parishioners attend as well. It's different but it gives me a new perspective on Christmas services...and lots to think about churches and buildings. And as I drive home after the last service on Sunday the first flakes of the great Christmas blizzard of '10 are beginning to fall.
~The REST of Christmas in Part 2...
Well THAT was a bust
Reverb 10 that is. It seemed like such a good idea, a way to motivate myself to write after NaBloPoMo was over. But honestly, the prompts were not that motivating. And combined with a month full of craziness at work meant I just never got around to it each night.
December is always a month that elicits a lot of memories and feelings for me, and I still think from time to time "I should blog that," and then don't do it. But as much to get things down for myself as for any other reason, I'll have some year-end wrap-ups in the next day or so.
Meanwhile, happy almost new year!
December is always a month that elicits a lot of memories and feelings for me, and I still think from time to time "I should blog that," and then don't do it. But as much to get things down for myself as for any other reason, I'll have some year-end wrap-ups in the next day or so.
Meanwhile, happy almost new year!
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
Community
Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)
I've been part of an online community of one sort or another since 1998 when I started hanging out on an Anglican/Episcopal listserve where I made some enduring friendships. (When I was ordained in 2005 people on that listserve came from 7 states and Canada to attend). This year I've found community on FB and the RevGalBlogPals. I don't think I spend as much time on FB as some people, but I do spend time there every day, and I love it because it allows me to be connected to people from all the many disparate parts of my life--one day I friended both my fifth grade teacher and my favorite college professor; I've reconnected with people from my old Girl Scout Troop, my high school class, my seminary. It's the main way I keep connected with family members
I've never been to a RGBP "Big Event" but I do find community there, especially at the Saturday preacher party. I"m inspired by others' words, and the company is great while I'm writing.
And I found community at the CREDO conference I attended last month. I really enjoyed the people I was with--people of different ages and backgrounds and locations but still with so much in common. Which leads to the kind of community I'd like to find or become part of this year. I'd like a clergy peer group. I miss regular contact with peers--people I can be honest with, commiserate with, complain with, rejoice with.
I've been part of an online community of one sort or another since 1998 when I started hanging out on an Anglican/Episcopal listserve where I made some enduring friendships. (When I was ordained in 2005 people on that listserve came from 7 states and Canada to attend). This year I've found community on FB and the RevGalBlogPals. I don't think I spend as much time on FB as some people, but I do spend time there every day, and I love it because it allows me to be connected to people from all the many disparate parts of my life--one day I friended both my fifth grade teacher and my favorite college professor; I've reconnected with people from my old Girl Scout Troop, my high school class, my seminary. It's the main way I keep connected with family members
I've never been to a RGBP "Big Event" but I do find community there, especially at the Saturday preacher party. I"m inspired by others' words, and the company is great while I'm writing.
And I found community at the CREDO conference I attended last month. I really enjoyed the people I was with--people of different ages and backgrounds and locations but still with so much in common. Which leads to the kind of community I'd like to find or become part of this year. I'd like a clergy peer group. I miss regular contact with peers--people I can be honest with, commiserate with, complain with, rejoice with.
Monday, December 06, 2010
Make
Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)
I haven't really made anything in a long while. I've never been super crafty, but I used to love counted cross stitch and for a while when the girls were little, I smocked things for them. The piece I am most proud of is a romper I made for my nephew with teddy bears smocked on the front. I made piping for the collar and used French seams, and even go the sleeves in pretty well. I'm not sure my nephew ever wore it, but when the Kid was born, my sister sent it back to me and the Kid wore it once.
I'd love to take up smocking and cross stitch again but I need two things: more time and a good needlework shop with cross stitch supplies and the ability to pleat fabric for smocking I've thought about taking up knitting as well, but I'm not sure I'm patient enough to get good at it.
I haven't really made anything in a long while. I've never been super crafty, but I used to love counted cross stitch and for a while when the girls were little, I smocked things for them. The piece I am most proud of is a romper I made for my nephew with teddy bears smocked on the front. I made piping for the collar and used French seams, and even go the sleeves in pretty well. I'm not sure my nephew ever wore it, but when the Kid was born, my sister sent it back to me and the Kid wore it once.
I'd love to take up smocking and cross stitch again but I need two things: more time and a good needlework shop with cross stitch supplies and the ability to pleat fabric for smocking I've thought about taking up knitting as well, but I'm not sure I'm patient enough to get good at it.
Let go
December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
My mantra over the last couple of years has been "Let it go, let it go" sung to the tune of "Let it be"--and you know, it really helped. In the last year I've tried to let go of thinking about people in my life who have caused me angst. Especially my former boss. So much happened the last year I was there that I just didn't understand. As is my wont, even after I left, I continued to think about it and process it to try to make sense of it, but I reached a point where I said, "ENOUGH!" It is over and done--let it go."
I really needed to do that--because otherwise he and our poor relationship would define who I am and what I do no, and that's not healthy and not where I want to be. That's giving him a power that he shouldn't have. And really, it's over now.
My mantra over the last couple of years has been "Let it go, let it go" sung to the tune of "Let it be"--and you know, it really helped. In the last year I've tried to let go of thinking about people in my life who have caused me angst. Especially my former boss. So much happened the last year I was there that I just didn't understand. As is my wont, even after I left, I continued to think about it and process it to try to make sense of it, but I reached a point where I said, "ENOUGH!" It is over and done--let it go."
I really needed to do that--because otherwise he and our poor relationship would define who I am and what I do no, and that's not healthy and not where I want to be. That's giving him a power that he shouldn't have. And really, it's over now.
Saturday, December 04, 2010
Wonder
December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)
The sad thing is, I'm not sure I did. Except perhaps for the time I spent with my grandchildren, for whom the world is still ALL wonder. I love being with them, watching their explorations, hearing J articulate her every experience, seeing M learn to navigate more and more independently. Nothing like seeing through the eyes of a child.
I think my photography helped me cultivate a sense of wonder when I was spending a lot of time with it. Seeing the world through a camera lens gives you a new perspective, captures things you might miss otherwise, focuses on things in a different way. About the same time I quit blogging every day I quit working on my photography. And as I learn over and over again in my life...it's really hard to get back into something once I let it go. But maybe it is time to work harder on that.
The sad thing is, I'm not sure I did. Except perhaps for the time I spent with my grandchildren, for whom the world is still ALL wonder. I love being with them, watching their explorations, hearing J articulate her every experience, seeing M learn to navigate more and more independently. Nothing like seeing through the eyes of a child.
I think my photography helped me cultivate a sense of wonder when I was spending a lot of time with it. Seeing the world through a camera lens gives you a new perspective, captures things you might miss otherwise, focuses on things in a different way. About the same time I quit blogging every day I quit working on my photography. And as I learn over and over again in my life...it's really hard to get back into something once I let it go. But maybe it is time to work harder on that.
Jumping on the bandwagon
...the #reverb10 bandwagon that is. I need some incentive to keep writing, and although NaBloPo seems to go all year now, it really only works for me in November.
I'm several days late, but I am going to catch up. So here goes.
December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)
New...I think my word for 2010 is new, although the newness really began a few months before 2010 began. I began the new year three months into a new position, three months into living on my own (read alone) for the first time in my life, and still figuring it all out. My routines and rhythms have changed over the year as the newness has started to wear off, but you know, I am still figuring it all out--what it means to be rector of a parish, what it's like to live alone, to parent only adults, to live in a new town without having children to settle in as a way to help me connect. All new.
I can no longer claim newness as this year draws to a close; I can't use it as an excuse for not recognizing someone or not knowing how to get somewhere, or even for not having a social life. The honeymoon is definitely over in my job, and the hard realities are setting in--that's not all bad, by the way, but it is hard in many ways.
A year from now, what do I want my word to be? Happy? Satisfied? Does that sound trite? I am ready for a year that just is--no big changes, no big drama, just things moving along. Is it tempting fate to hope for that?
December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)
To quote Songbird, "Aside from working and sleeping?" Yeah, that.
At work I write newsletters and bulletins and correspondence. I view my writing at work at least in part as teaching (this applies mostly but not exclusively to the newsletter). At home I blog and I write sermons. After blogging for more than 450 consecutive days, I rather abruptly all but stopped when my work life became unbloggable. I've blogged sporadically since then, but I really lost steam. And the blogging community has changed as I noted here which make blogging less rewarding than it used to be.
My other writing is sermons....and really everything else I do does sort of interfere with that, at least in terms of time. I know some people who are really good as setting aside a writing day during the week, but I'm not. And becasue I *can* produce something at the last minute I often do. To be honest, I write best under some pressure, so writing on Saturday works okay most of the time. The part I don't like is not taking or having adequate prep time during the week.
Now in truth what I do all day also DOES contribute to my writing in that it connects me with my parish who are my main audience, and in that provides inspiration and direction for what I write/preach, and often for what I blog. So it's not all black and white here.
I'm not an inherently disciplined person, but I sometimes wish I were more disciplined about writing more/better.
ETA: As I was writing my post on wonder I realized there is something I do now that interferes with my writing and doing other things: watching TV. Ironically I don't even own a TV but over the last couple of years I've begun watching on-line...it was stress relief and then it became habit. I don't watch that much, but even one show a night takes up time that I used to spend doing other things. And when I come home from work late and tired, there's not that much discretionary time. How do people keep up with a full TV schedule and still get other things done?
Skipping December 3 for the moment...
I'm several days late, but I am going to catch up. So here goes.
December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)
New...I think my word for 2010 is new, although the newness really began a few months before 2010 began. I began the new year three months into a new position, three months into living on my own (read alone) for the first time in my life, and still figuring it all out. My routines and rhythms have changed over the year as the newness has started to wear off, but you know, I am still figuring it all out--what it means to be rector of a parish, what it's like to live alone, to parent only adults, to live in a new town without having children to settle in as a way to help me connect. All new.
I can no longer claim newness as this year draws to a close; I can't use it as an excuse for not recognizing someone or not knowing how to get somewhere, or even for not having a social life. The honeymoon is definitely over in my job, and the hard realities are setting in--that's not all bad, by the way, but it is hard in many ways.
A year from now, what do I want my word to be? Happy? Satisfied? Does that sound trite? I am ready for a year that just is--no big changes, no big drama, just things moving along. Is it tempting fate to hope for that?
December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)
To quote Songbird, "Aside from working and sleeping?" Yeah, that.
At work I write newsletters and bulletins and correspondence. I view my writing at work at least in part as teaching (this applies mostly but not exclusively to the newsletter). At home I blog and I write sermons. After blogging for more than 450 consecutive days, I rather abruptly all but stopped when my work life became unbloggable. I've blogged sporadically since then, but I really lost steam. And the blogging community has changed as I noted here which make blogging less rewarding than it used to be.
My other writing is sermons....and really everything else I do does sort of interfere with that, at least in terms of time. I know some people who are really good as setting aside a writing day during the week, but I'm not. And becasue I *can* produce something at the last minute I often do. To be honest, I write best under some pressure, so writing on Saturday works okay most of the time. The part I don't like is not taking or having adequate prep time during the week.
Now in truth what I do all day also DOES contribute to my writing in that it connects me with my parish who are my main audience, and in that provides inspiration and direction for what I write/preach, and often for what I blog. So it's not all black and white here.
I'm not an inherently disciplined person, but I sometimes wish I were more disciplined about writing more/better.
ETA: As I was writing my post on wonder I realized there is something I do now that interferes with my writing and doing other things: watching TV. Ironically I don't even own a TV but over the last couple of years I've begun watching on-line...it was stress relief and then it became habit. I don't watch that much, but even one show a night takes up time that I used to spend doing other things. And when I come home from work late and tired, there's not that much discretionary time. How do people keep up with a full TV schedule and still get other things done?
Skipping December 3 for the moment...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Hey, I did it again
Successfully finished NaBloPoMo with this post. This is my fifth year...now the question is, will I keep it up in December? Only time will tell.
Meanwhile is tomorrow REALLY December 1? In denial here...big time.
Meanwhile is tomorrow REALLY December 1? In denial here...big time.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Classic
After posting last night I lay down on the couch "just for a minute" and fell fast asleep. And had a classic anxiety dream. You know the one: I was trying to get ready to catch a plane somewhere and I just couldn't get ready. Couldn't pack. Didn't remember how to get to the airport. Not enough time. At one point something caught on fire and I couldn't remember how to make my cell phone work to call 911. Felt like I was in some sort of time quick sand. Crazy.
Consider the irony of me saying that I was going to try to do things a bit differently and then dream about FLYING somewhere -- since I never fly. The not-enough-time-to-get-ready part--not so ironic--just typical.
I woke up sometime after midnight to put myself to bed. I almost blogged the dream then because it was so vivid, and I kind of wish I had because I'm sure I've forgotten parts now. But it truly was classic.
Tonight I shall go straight upstairs to bed.
Consider the irony of me saying that I was going to try to do things a bit differently and then dream about FLYING somewhere -- since I never fly. The not-enough-time-to-get-ready part--not so ironic--just typical.
I woke up sometime after midnight to put myself to bed. I almost blogged the dream then because it was so vivid, and I kind of wish I had because I'm sure I've forgotten parts now. But it truly was classic.
Tonight I shall go straight upstairs to bed.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Where in the world has November gone?
This is the time of year that starts getting to me, the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I don't ever remember a year where November seemed so SHORT.
Being away for 11 days early in the month really messed with my sense of time. I arrived home exactly a week before Thanksgiving day, and it was a week packed full of work obligations, both to catch up with things I'd missed and to prepare for the immediate future--which included, of course, both Thanksgiving and the beginning of Advent. I love Advent as a season, but I'm rarely ready for it and this year is worse than ever. I know that Christmas will be here before I can really blink,
So I'm thinking about changing things up a bit. I'm pretty much a stickler about not decorating too early, not getting caught up in the Christmas crazy, but I think that actually works against me in some ways, so I'm trying to relax my rules a bit. We went to the local tree lighting while we were in VT for Thanksgiving, and I really enjoyed it, and it helped me feel more in the spirit of the season. I'm planning on getting the tree earlier this year, and trying not to let Christmas prep pile up so much. At the same time, I'm already thinking there won't be time enough to get everything done, at home or at work. Couldn't we get an extra day a week or something? Maybe November ought to be where the extra days goes in leap year?
Being away for 11 days early in the month really messed with my sense of time. I arrived home exactly a week before Thanksgiving day, and it was a week packed full of work obligations, both to catch up with things I'd missed and to prepare for the immediate future--which included, of course, both Thanksgiving and the beginning of Advent. I love Advent as a season, but I'm rarely ready for it and this year is worse than ever. I know that Christmas will be here before I can really blink,
So I'm thinking about changing things up a bit. I'm pretty much a stickler about not decorating too early, not getting caught up in the Christmas crazy, but I think that actually works against me in some ways, so I'm trying to relax my rules a bit. We went to the local tree lighting while we were in VT for Thanksgiving, and I really enjoyed it, and it helped me feel more in the spirit of the season. I'm planning on getting the tree earlier this year, and trying not to let Christmas prep pile up so much. At the same time, I'm already thinking there won't be time enough to get everything done, at home or at work. Couldn't we get an extra day a week or something? Maybe November ought to be where the extra days goes in leap year?
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Back, safe, home again
After meeting all the gathered family at a favorite breakfast place and a stroll through a quiet (because it was stii early) downtown with frosty air and dancing snow flurries, we set out for home in time to be here before dark. But the best laid plans...you know how that goes.
By the time we gassed up the car it was snow showers instead of flurries and the farther we went the harder it snowed pretty much the whole way across the state. When we made a pit stop we hit a spot of blue skies and hoped we were through the worst of the snow but I had no sooner gotten out my sunglasses because the sun was glaring on the wet roads than we caught up with the snow squalls. The roads weren't awful buy it snowed hard enough that visibility was poor and traffic slowed way down. Mind you, I'd rather it slow down than for idiots to sped by but it did make for a loooong drive home.
I have to add that it would have been beautiful if I hadn't been driving in it.
Now it is on to the Advent rush...let the new (church) year begin!
By the time we gassed up the car it was snow showers instead of flurries and the farther we went the harder it snowed pretty much the whole way across the state. When we made a pit stop we hit a spot of blue skies and hoped we were through the worst of the snow but I had no sooner gotten out my sunglasses because the sun was glaring on the wet roads than we caught up with the snow squalls. The roads weren't awful buy it snowed hard enough that visibility was poor and traffic slowed way down. Mind you, I'd rather it slow down than for idiots to sped by but it did make for a loooong drive home.
I have to add that it would have been beautiful if I hadn't been driving in it.
Now it is on to the Advent rush...let the new (church) year begin!
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