So it's my birthday

(as some of you have already noted here and elsewhere--thanks!) I don't usually call attention to my birthday. We're not big celebrators in our family, and it's been a long time since I had a cake or presents or a party. But I've been thinking a bit about age lately and now seems as good a time as any to talk about it.

I'm 55 today. That sounds so OLD. My dad retired when he was 55 (mandatory retirement age for his job). I cannot even begin to imagine retirement. I just got started. I've done so many things in my life out of sequence--late mostly: college late, grad school late, first decent job late, ordination late, but some early (notably marriage and kids, although I did kids both ways, the first three when I was relatively young, and the last one in my late 30s.). I've always had friends who were older and younger than I--now I have friends who are the same age as my children. So even though I am firmly middle age, I don't see myself that way. Since NSLS announced that I would be a grandmother, I've taken to saying that I'm not a day over 35 inside. And if 60 is the new 40, then I guess that's about right.

The negative thing about this is that I've seen ageism on both ends--and I don't like it. It's especially hard as a newly ordained person. People complain that young clergy aren't always taken seriously, but the same is true for people like me. And while I want my younger colleagues to have lots of opportunites, to be taken seriously, I want those opportunities, too. I'm not included in many things targeted to more recently ordained people because I'm too old. And while there's a Young Women's Clergy Project, if there's one for older women, I sure don't know about it. Please don't think I am criticizing this project, either--I think it's wonderful. I'm just a bit envious. I'm not ready for the AARP or the let's-talk-about-retirement group. My interests and experiences are all over the place, which means that sometimes I don't fit in anywhere exactly.

The good part of my age (and I am truly grateful for every year I get) is that I do feel like I've learned some things over the years. I'm more comfortable in my own skin now. I could wish I'd acheived that earlier, but I didn't. And I look forward to doing much much more.

Because I'm an idealist, I wish for a world in which people weren't categorized and pigeon-holed by age...or gender or sexual orientation or ethnicity or nationality....but I'm not hopeful that world will be achieved any time soon.

Meanwhile, I think we should have a party here. Virtual cake, anyone?