Happy Birthday, Sk8tr Boy

Today is Sk8tr Boy's 14th birthday.

It is such a cliche to talk about time flying, but you know what? It does. Fourteen years ago just about this time I was on my way to the hospital, contractions 5 minutes apart. Of course they stopped as soon as we got there, but because I was having a v-back and because I lived 45 minutes from the hospital we decided not to go home. So we walked the mall, and we went for a drive, and we walked the mall some more, and I had a corndog for lunch (what was I thinking?) and finally late afternoon I was admitted, and he was born in the early evening.

I was in grad school at the time, and since he was born in November, I was able to take off until after the Christmas break. I thought that I would be able to do some reading for quals during those weeks. What was I thinking? Sk8tr Boy was one of those babies who preferred night to day, and who never slept longer than 30-40 minutes. I could just barely get a shower in between nursings.

For lots of reasons I won't go into here, the next couple of years were mega-stressful. He was two and a half when I finally finished my Ph.D. and we moved to New England for my teaching job. He thrived there. My college has a wonderful daycare--I can't say enough good things about that and how important that was for me. But the stress wasn't over because his dad left the picture for good just a year later, and he's had minimal contact with him since (actually he hasn't seen him in 7 years, nor talked to him in over two years).

Sk8tr Boy started kindergarten when he was still four. His preschool teacher thought he would be bored, and the public school had a wonderful full day kindergarten. He was in a multi-age K1 class with fantastic teachers, but it was still a hard transition in some ways. His fine motor skills probably weren't up to par for a kindergartener, but he coped, and eventually he flourished. He learned to ride his two-wheeler, tried soccer but preferred baseball, became a Little League catcher, read voraciously, took up computer games in the absence of a TV, took up the guitar and trumpet, spent lots of time with his older sisters, especially Lovely Daughter #1 who stayed in the area for college and afterwards.

When we moved to Seminary City, he was starting middle school--public middle school in the city, traveling by public transportation. Luckily, he loved the city, and adapted to public transportation (becoming the resident expert on the subway system). But school was a trial because he was picked on a lot in sixth grade. The school was very slow to respond to my complaints, too, believing that he should advocate for himself more. Well, yes, maybe he should have, but when it's your kid who's being bullied you want someone to stop it NOW! The saving grace was that there was a great group of kids his age at the seminary with whom he spent his out of school time, and the others students in my class were very good to him as well. The next year the bullying stopped--not sure why, but he was much happier in school. He also took up black nail polish and blue hair, but chickened out about getting his ears pierced.

It was very hard for him to leave the city. Schoolwise it was good timing--he finished middle school there and started high school here. He likes his school, and for the first time ever is GETTING HIMSELF UP IN THE MORNING. You cannot imagine what a big deal that is. But he still misses the city, and considers himself a city boy, and not a week goes by without a lament about what is missing here (Indian food, coffee shops, subways...the list goes on).

I can't believe how quickly this has all sped by. In just a few years he will be out of the house and on his own. When I am frustrated by the trail of debris he leaves behind him and his taking procrastination to a new level, I need to remember that.

Happy Birthday, Sk8tr Boy.