Tomorrow morning I will rise at 5 to drive LD#1 to the airport for her flight back to South Korea. She's been back in the US for just three months (well, two actually because she spent most of May in South America) and she's ready to go--partly because she needs to get back to work, but more, I am realizing, because that is where she feels most at home right now. She really has her feet in two worlds--but for now, I think her heart is in Korea.
My older daughter is a beautiful, intelligent , articulate, compassionate, strong-willed woman. I am incredibly proud of her--of her commitment to the things she believes in, of the her commitment to family in a family that isn't always easy to part of, of her courage. I am happy that she is able to follow her heart. But I really miss her when she is so far away.
Looking at my children gathered here for the wedding, I feel a little nostalgic for their childhoods. I know there were times when I could have been a better mother. I wish I could go back and fix some of the things that happened; I wish I could have protected them from some of the hurts they experienced. I wish, too, that I had held tighter to some of the special moments. But I can't relive the past; there are no "do-overs" in the real world. What I can do, however, is treasure my children as adults. If I have one hope for the future it is that I will have a better adult relationship with my children than I do with my own mother.
SoI will hug my beautful daughter good-bye in the morning, and I will tell her how much I love her and send her on her way. And then I will start counting the days til she will be home again.
Godspeed and good travel LD. I love you.
1 comment:
I find it hard to imagine that the love, appreciation, wonder, and respect you convey for your children will do anything other than nourish a healthy relationship for all your years together.
Safe travels, LD#1!
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