Friday FIve~Taking in the view

1. How important is the "big picture" to you, do you need a glimpse of the possibilities or are you a details person?

~I am most definitely a big picture person. I need to see the picture, and I think my ability to grasp the big picture in a discussion is one of the gifts I bring. But in the job I'm in now I've learned that I can attend to the details; in fact, I frequently am the clergy person who does so. Having the context of the big picture is essential for me, though, to attend to the details. Context is everything I guess.

2. If the big picture is important to you how do you hold onto it in the nitty gritty details of life?

~Stepping back to see the big picture is what helps keep me sane in the moment. So when I get really frazzled by the details I try to take a minute, stop and breathe, and think about the big picture. And honestly, it's just how my mind works. Remembering all the details is much harder.

3. Name a book, poem, psalm, piece of music that transports to to another dimension (one....what am I thinking....)

Hard question. People who went to my seminary will most understand this answer, but hearing "King of glory, king of peace" particularly when the descant is sung transports me to a good place.

4. Thinking of physical views, is there somewhere that inspires you, somewhere that you breathe more easily?

At the top of the hill in the city by the lake, looking over the lake, especially on a bright sunny day (summer or winter).

Conversely, walking the streets in NYC, not going any place in particular, just seeing the city around me, or sitting a my favorite table at my favorite coffee shop in the city, watching the world go by.

5. A picture opportunity... one way to get the view... (not the picture I really have in mind, but it will have to do for now.)

Three years ago...

~Three years ago yesterday I was ordained to the diaconate. Like most anniversaries, in some ways it seems so long ago, and in others it seems like just yesterday. I was reading blogs at that point, but I hadn't started my own, so there is no post to go back to, but if I find the time to go back into some old pix folders tomorrow, I'll post some photos.

~It was a glorious June day in Vermont, and a wonderful, joyous occasions with good friends and family present. Although in some ways ordination to the priesthood is more dramatic, ordination to the diaconate is thrilling in its own way, the penultimate step in a long, long process, and marking the entry into the world of "clergy." Three of us were ordained that day (all women) and we worked together to plan a beautiful liturgy with wonderful music and great preaching.

~A few short weeks later I was packing and moving from NYC to my present location...and what a rollercoaster it's been here. There is so much I love about what I do, and equally as much that I find frustrating in my work situation. And this week has been hellacious in ways that I just can't blog about. Suffice it to say that there are a whole lot of changes and a lot of drama going on...most of it doesn't involve directly me but it nonetheless affects my work and it can be emotionally exhausting.

~It's no secret here that this hasn't been my favorite geographical location either. I've lived a lot of different places in my life, and this is probably my 2nd or 3rd least favorite. And I'm not sure why, because there are some things about where I live that, if you asked about in the abstract, I would rate as contributing to a desirable place to live. Lately I've realized that I've gotten to know only a small part of the area; usually when I move someplace I explore a lot more. I'm not sure how much that would change how I feel about the area, but perhaps I"ll try to get out more.

~June 4, btw, is also the anniversary of my high school graduation, but I'm loathe to say how many years ago it was....suffice it to say that many of my bloggy friends weren't even born yet!

An open letter to a candidate

Dear Senator Clinton,

When I was in elementary school, my best friend and I used to pretend that one of us would be the first woman president. At 11, anything seemed possible, but as we got older reality set in, and the limitations of being female --those explicitly stated and those more subtle--affected the paths we took. The schools we attended, the careers we chose, the choices we made about marriage and family were all shaped by what it was "okay" for women to do.

Now I'm middle-aged. I've achieved things that weren't possible for women when I was 11, but we still haven't had a woman president. And I long for the day when we will. According to the demographics, I'm your ideal voter: an educated middle-class woman. But I have to say, when it came right down to it, I couldn't support you just because you were a woman. I wanted to, I really did. I admired you when you presented your first health care plan when you were First Lady, I stuck up for you when you stuck with you marriage, figuring that you were the best one to judge if that was the right decision. I applauded you when you ran for the Senate and when you first announced your candidacy for the presidency, I was excited.

But when it came time to vote, I was torn. Truth is, I'm more liberal than you are. And I worry about the political debts that you bring along with you, the downside of the many connections you've made over the years. I worry about political dynasties. More than that, I was infected by the voice of hope, the idea of real change, of a fresh start that your worthy opponent offered.

You ran a good campaign; you've worked hard and you've done well. You have faced down more than your share of criticism and ugly remarks, and you've shown that a woman can be a strong candidate. But now you need to show you can also be a graceful runner-up. Now is the time to remember what this is all about--not just having the first woman president (or the first black president for that matter). It's about turning this country around, about bringing liberal values back into play, it's about change, and yes, it's about hope--hope that we can do a new thing.

You may not be the winning candidate, Senator Clinton, but you still have a great deal of power to influence the outcome. I'm hoping you'll continue to show the world that you are strong woman, one who can rally her supporters to rise above the "sour grapes" attitude many of them have been displaying, an attitude that is antithetical to what you've been campaigning for. I'm hoping that you'll do everything you can to stop the candidacy of the opposition, a candidacy that would prolong the already too-long war we're embroiled in, one that fails to grasp the needs of working people, one that doesn't not support the right of women to have full control of their own bodies or understand the need for thorough-going reform of health care.

You may not be the winning candidate but you are still a winner in many ways: You've made the notion of a woman as president become more than a child's day dream, made it something that is truly conceivable. You've been part of a campaign that is truly extraordinary --look that the choices we've had, choices that would've been unthinkable a few years ago. It gives me hope. Don't give lie to that hope now-be part of it so that the transformation we all so deeply desire can become reality.

Question

~So last night I was in a really really bad mood, and I started writing a post KNOWING I would never publish it, at least not in that form. I was just dumping stuff out with the idea that I would delete most of it if I ever decided to publish part of it. But then I pressed publish instead of save. Yikes. I knew immediately that I'd messed up. So I deleted the whole thing. It couldn't have been up more than 30 seconds, a minute at the most.

~My question is this: when I do something like that, does it still go out to people's feeds? Cause if it did, I'm really really embarrassed. Really.

Missed photo op

~I was sitting at the kitchen table yesterday afternoon reading (yes, a real book) when I heard something scratching around outside. I peered out to see the groundhog on the back step, with his/her little front paws up on the door, as if to peek inside. The door was closed, alas, so there was nothing to see, and the groundhog scurried over to the other back door and did the same thing.

~But by the time I'd grabbed my camera, the groundhog was gone.

~I don't know anything about groundhogs, but the one I have this year is much bolder than the one that frequented the yard my first year here. That one stayed way out by the stone wall, but this comes up on the patio pretty often.

Summer meme

as seen at Songbird's place...

1. What first tells you that Summer is here?

~Where I live now....temperatures finally getting into the 70s and the arrival of the tourists.

2. Name five of your favorite distinctively Summer habits or customs.

~Keeping the windows open
~Eating fresh corn and tomatoes and blueberries every chance I get
~Wearing sandals
~Painting my toenails
~Buying fresh flowers at the farmer's market

3. What is your favorite smell of Summer?

~ Lilacs

4.What is your favorite taste of Summer?

~Fresh vine ripe tomatoes...a tomato sandwich with mayonnaise and salt and pepper

5. Favorite Summer memory?

~Spending a week a the beach with my family when my kids were little; Fourth of July in Vermont; Central Park in early summer; the greenmarket in Union Square and the farmer's market in VT, NSLS's June wedding, ....okay, that's more than one but it's hard to choose.

6. Extreme heat or extreme cold? Which would you choose and why?

~Extreme cold--it's much easier to get warm than it is to get cool. I've lived where it is routinely 95 degrees with 95% humidity, and I don't miss it!

7. What books do you plan to read for the season?

~The next Julia Spencer Fleming mystery, and some of the many books piled up around my house.

8. How does the Summer affect your faith? Is it a hindrance or an ally?

~Attendance goes down at church and the pace is much slower--but I guess that's not the question. Summer is the first part of that long stretch of "ordinary" time -- no big holy days, no penitential seasons, or times of special celebration, more time just to be. That's a good thing, I think.

Now it's your turn...

(Totally) random bits of June 1

~Finally we had a day with temps above 70! And about time--it just doesn't seem possible that it is June 1 already.

~The Kid says that he is now a senior! Didn't he just start kindergarten a little while ago?

~I really think I'm going to have to get a dog.

~Today was emotionally exhausting...so much so that tonight all I did was watch old episodes of Grey's Anatomy. How's that for escapism?

~I'm still trying to lure the orioles back. I put up a new oriole feeder this afternoon. I saw one oriole flying close to it, but he didn't stop-but it's still progress. The one I saw yesterday was much further away.

~I think I will try to get to bed before midnight for a change. Which means I should stop blogging now. Goodnight!

Random bits of my weekend

~Irises are blooming. I love irises, at least in part because they remind me of my much-loved mil...and now of my granddaughter since Iris is her middle name.

~I'm not preaching this week, no meetings on the calendar except for having dinner with the Rite 13 kids tonight, no funerals...so I've had a quiet and relaxing couple of days. Both yesterday and today I met someone from church for breakfast, and today it was definitely work, but it was okay. Getting up and out of the house early reminds me that no matter how good it feels in the moment to stay in my jammies half the day, overall I'm happier when I get up and get out of the house.

~Tomorrow is June, and it's STILL not very warm here...not in the 70s yet. Sigh....this afternoon the sky kept getting darker and darker and I felt sure we were in for a big storm, but it never arrived. It is raining, but it's a gentle rain ansd so far no wind or thunder and lightning.

~I was pretty incensed when I read this article in the NY Times about women being denied health insurance or paying significantly higher rates after c-sections. It's bad enough that women have to deal with doctors who actually think c-sections are preferable and then they get penalized by insurance companies? It's a no win situation.

~I still don't understand the behavior of HRC's supporters in Florida and Michigan, who today were yelling "McCain in 08" after the deal to give their delegates half a vote each. And I hope that Howard Dean is right when he says, “We are strong enough to struggle and disagree and to even be angry and disappointed and still come together at the end of the day and be united.”

~I spent some time taking pictures yesterday afternoon. I've probably taken 800 pix in the last week...the only downside of that is that it takes a long time to go through them and pick out the best ones to process. And I need to find some new places to take pictures, too.

~I saw one oriole flying around this afternoon, but he never came to the feeder. But at least I know there are still some orioles in the area. Meanwhile the grackles are still coming by occasionally to try the feeders, but they don't stay very long and there are fewer of them.

It must be the season...

An apropos Friday 5 since my church had its semi-annual rummage sale last weekend...

1) Are you a garage saler?

No, not at all, and I'm not a rummage saler either. I try to avoid the rummage sale, but it's hard when there is STUFF everywhere for a week. Really, there's an amazing amount of STUFF.

2) If so, are you an immediate buyer or a risk taker who comes back later when prices are lower?

I'm more of a waffler, and generally talk myself out of buying anything...I don't need more STUFF.

3) Seriously, if you're not a garage saler, you are probably not going to want to play this one.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking...

That wasn't really #3

Oooooookay then...

3) This is the real #3: What's the best treasure you've found at a yard or garage sale?

Never have found a treasure...maybe that's one reason I don't like garage/rummage/yard sales.

4) If you've done one yourself, at church or at home, was it worth the effort?

Never had one. When I move and need to get rid of stuff I generally give it to Salvation Army or Goodwill.

But the church ladies make a lot of $$ with the rummage sale which is used for outreach, and they love doing it, so I guess it is worth the effort.

5) Can you bring yourself to haggle?

Not really.

And no, I don't usually do e-bay, either.

Birds on an extinction schedule

~In a comment on a previous post about the grackles, Ianqui mentioned that from a behavioral psychology standpoint it would be interesting to watch the grackles who can no longer get food from the feeders. I don't know if I've talked about it here, but as a matter of fact, I spent some time in a behavioral psych program, and spent my last undergrad year running mice in Skinner boxes. So I know reinforcement schedules and extinction curves and the like. And yes, the grackles have behaved just as Skinner would've predicted. Put on an extinction schedule (no more reinforcement, i.e., food) they try very very hard for a while and then taper off. And then they come back occasionally to try a little and then finally quit responding.

~It's actually pretty funny how much my feeders are like a Skinner box, although I hadn't thought about it until Ianqui mentioned it. For the grackles, landing on the perch is like a bar press in a Skinner box. Before I adjusted the feeders they were on a continuous ratio reinforcement schedule--they always got food. But fixing the feeders meant that landing on the perch produces NO food for them now. So the one grackle who was literally jumping up and down on the perch madly was just like a mouse madly bar pressing trying to get a food pellet in a classic extinction burst. Pretty cool. (And probably more than you ever wanted to know about operant conditioning! But I could so still teach that...)

~But I think I should have fixed the feeders sooner--my other birds really seem to be gone. I've only seen one cardinal in the last few days, and not a single oriole whereas I had 4-5 orioles earlier. I'm afraid that the grackles who are omnivores and not above eating baby birds may have raided some nests and driven the orioles elsewhere. The orioles stuck around all last summer, but the year before that they were only here for a little bit, and I wonder if the same thing happened that year. I will be really sad if they are gone for the summer. I have some finches and chickadees still, but it's awfully quiet out there now, and the feeders are still almost full after a few days which is unusual.

Let it go, let it go...

~...sung to the tune of "Let it Be"

~That's my new mantra (seriously, I sing it to myself and it helps--so call me crazy. Whatever).

~I'm singing it a lot today and it's not noon yet. I'm just saying...

Writing style and other observations about a very busy weekend

~The weekend just past was a very busy one for me. I had three funeral services (one Friday evening, one Saturday morning, and one Sunday afternoon) in addition to the regular Saturday evening/Sunday morning schedule, and the rector was away so I was preaching and in charge of everything else as well. It all went very well, I'm thankful to say. But what I've been reflecting on is my sermon writing process.

~As I've mentioned here before, I write best with a deadline looming--nothing like a little pressure to get the words flowing (although that sounds and sometimes feels a bit risky). Combine that with the fact that I've tried to preserve Friday as a day off and the result is that I write my sermons on Saturday morning. I've been thinking about and processing material all week, but it still takes me a good 3-4 hours on Saturday and then I have to jump in the shower and rush down to work.

~When I have something to do on Saturday I try to get the sermon written on Friday, but it feels harder. This was one of those weeks--I started early Friday evening and sat there until I had 600-700 words (I aim for 1200-1400 total). Then I got up early Saturday morning and finished it off.

~The funeral was at 11:30 and because it was a brief graveside service I was home by 12:15. I did a quick edit on the sermon, but then what to do all afternoon? It felt odd to have free time. So eventually I decided to take some advice garnered from several sources and practice the sermon out loud, from the pulpit. so that's what I did--several times. (I haven't done that since my earliest preaching days in seminary.) And when it was time to preach, it went very well.

~I've ALWAYS done my best writing at the last minute with some pressure on. But maybe, just maybe I need to try harder to write on Friday and practice it on Saturday. We'll see. Preserving time off is still an issue. Mondays are off days, too, but because I have some sort of small group every Tuesday that requires some reading for prep, Mondays aren't totally free either--sort of like being an academic--there's always reading or writing to be done.

~It also struck me this weekend that I actually like having several services to lead. As an introvert I'm pretty wiped out by the time I get home, but I have plenty of energy in the moment. Which is a good thing. But it makes me wonder why my boss thinks that adding an additional service on the weekend would be too hard --he's an extrovert, too, so it ought to be easier for him. Whatever. Maybe I'm just a workaholic.

~And once again I meant to go to bed early tonight, but now I've blown it. Nothing new there.

Birds and other wildlife

~I've had a larger than usual population of grackles this spring. They are nuisance birds in my book because they don't play well with others. When they are at the feeders, very few other birds come around. So I've been trying to outwit them. I have two feeders that have spring-loaded perches--they're made that way to be squirrel proof--enough weight on the perch and the feeding holes close up. The springs are adjustable and so I've been tweaking them a bit every day--I finally have them set so that when a grackle lands, the feeder closes, grackles being bigger and heavier than most of the other birds. I'm a bit worried that the red-bellied woodpecker won't be able to feed, but I haven't seen him/her lately anyway.

~The grackles don't give up easily though. One of them was literally jumping up and down (by fluttering its wings) trying to get the feeder to stay open long enough to get something. The good news is that there were fewer grackles here today but the bad news is that there haven't been many other birds here either--I think they've been throughly scared off. I do think they'll be back if the grackles stay away for a bit.

~Lately I've been seeing a groundhog prowling around. I saw one the first summer I lived here, but not since then. We had a fox that summer, too, but I haven't seen a fox in more than a year.

~Last night I heard something scratching around outside the window. I thought it was a raccoon but when I peered out I saw an opossum instead.

~And this afternoon I saw a bunny hopping across the yard.

What's your Sesame Street persona?

As seen at profgrrrrl's place:

Your Score: Snuffleupagus

You scored 66% Organization, 61% abstract, and 66% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are somewhat organized, both concrete and abstract, and both introverted and extroverted.


I bet you didn't think you were Snuffleupagus. Let's find out why.


You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Alloyius Snuffleupagus (and all Snuffleupagus') is not sloppy by nature, but he moves so incredibly slowly that it is impossible for him to be totally organized.

You both are about equally concrete and abstract thinkers. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course. Snuffy generally has very basic interests, but he explores his abstract sensitive side when he plays his snuffleflute.

You both are somewhat introverted. Originally Snuffleupagus was very shy and was only Big Bird's invisible friend. However as he has aged he has started to build new friendships with new characters. Like Snuffy, you probably like to have some time to yourself. However, you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations.

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test

Crazy request

~Friday I was reading blogs and clicked through some links in comments and found myself at at a blog I don't usually read. There was a very interesting post about this blogger's reactions to applause in a worship service at the Festival of Homiletics. I left a comment and I wanted to go back and read what other people might have said, but I can't remember what the name of the blog was or how I found it (yeah, it's kind of dumb...) I tried the mostly likely places that I thought could've led me to this blog, but to no avail...

~So if you posted something like that, or if you know who did, let me know in the comments, okay?

Trying to figure it out

~The squirrels are mightily vexed that they can't reach the two feeders mounted on the bay window. But one of them has been trying and finally managed to get up on the outside edge of the window. I don't think it's possible for a squirrel to get to the feeders from there, but I guess we'll see. They are very persistent!

Holiday?

~I totally forgot that this was Memorial Day weekend until the Kid reminded me that he has no school on Monday. In New England, Memorial Day really does usher in the summer season, but it just doesn't feel like summer yet--it's barely warm enough to be spring.

~This time of year I have a small twinge of nostalgia for academia. Even though I taught summer classes every year and worked on other things all summer, there was still something delicious about the prospect of three months with less structure, less routine. I miss that.

~This weekend for me is sermon writing, three funerals, and regular Sunday services. At least the sun is supposed to be out.

More political thoughts

~Listening to the second discussion I've heard today on NPR on how sexism has affected HRC's candidacy. One person went so far as to imply that if Clinton does not get the nomination it's a slap in the face of all women, who should then boycott the general election.

~I hope that there is a woman president in my life time. But I don't think it's smart to vote for a woman JUST BECAUSE she's a woman.

~It all smacks just a teeny bit of sour grapes at this point. I mean, if the table were turned, couldn't the same arguments be made about racism and black voters? Neither racism or sexism is okay. But you know, ONE of them has to lose. And then it's time to think about how to beat McCain. I'm just saying...

Another quiz: Politics this time

You are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (10% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test

Random bits of my week so far

~Is this the week for brain tumors or what? I don't mean that to be as flip as it might sound, but I was shocked to hear that Ted Kennedy has a malignant brain tumor. I grew up in the era when the name Kennedy was magic, and I have to admit that voting for Kennedy for my senator last year was a bit of a thrill.

~And I don't know how my sister is doing or what kind of tumor she had. I did talk to my mother who had no more information than I did at the time.

~I'm still processing all the crap that blew up last week, and still feeling a bit tender. Add to that the things that are going on at work, and I've had better weeks. But my new mantra is "Let it go, let it go, let it go" about things I can't control and I'm working on it.

~Note that letting it go is not the same as denial.

~It is raining and cold here AGAIN. Hello, it's the end of May? I am so ready for warm weather.

~The Kid downloaded some music for me to use as ring tones on the crackberry--very cool!

~Lilacs seem to be in bloom all over the place, but that is one thing I don' t have in my yard or in the church garden. I miss them. I had some outside my office when I was teaching and I used to (surreptitiously) pick some for my desk from time to time. I love lilacs.

I took it twice to be sure...

and I got the same thing both times. (as seen at Dani's place)

The Neurotic Test

Your Score: Well-Adjusted

You scored 42 anxiety, 39 awkwardness, and 34 neuroticism!

You scored low in all categories--so there's no need to worry! Not that you were worrying, anyway. You are so Well-Adjusted that I almost feel the need to worry for you.

Your low anxiety score implies that you are able to relax, can enjoy the here and now, and have a healthy amount of self-confidence.

Your low awkwardness score implies that you are socially capable, are personable and charming, and probably go to parties and have fun.

Your low neuroticism score implies that you don't exhibit subtle neurotic behaviors--your nails are probably an acceptable length, your pencils aren't covered with bite marks, and your bookcase isn't arranged alphabetically by genre. Congrats!
__


Try it yourself:

The Neurotic Test written by littlelostsnail

Oriole

Meme of fives

As seen at Crunchy Granola's place...

What were you doing five years ago?
Finishing my first year of seminary and getting ready to begin CPE (clinical pastoral education).

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order)?
The only thing on my to-do list for today is to get to bed earlier than I usually do. For tomorrow and Monday, though, I need to:

1. Buy a new chair for the computer desk.
2. Buy a light bulb for the fluorescent light fixture over the sink (a task that has been surprisingly difficult).
3. Do reading for the Tuesday bible study group
4. Take pictures, which I've sadly neglected doing for the last few days.
5. Go for a walk

What are five snacks you enjoy?

1. Peanut butter crackers with iced tea or diet coke
2. Popcorn
3. Ice cream
4. A nice cup of tea or latte with a biscotti
5. A bit of chocolate

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?

1. Give a bundle of money to my seminary.
2. Pay off all my student loans and all my kids' student loans
3. Buy an apartment in New York and a house in Vermont
4. Set up a foundation to support causes near and dear to my heart
5. Travel

What are five of your bad habits?

1. Staying up too late for no good reason.
2. Procrastination
3. Taking showers that are way too long
4. Being too sedentary
5. Not taking good advantage of my days off

What are five places where you have lived?

1. North Carolina
2. West Virginia
3. Iceland
4. Maryland
5. Florida

and five more

1. Virginia
2. South Carolina
3. Vermont
4. New York
5. Illinois

What are five jobs you've had?

1. Waitress at a diner
2. Child care worker
3. Library assistant
4. Retail clerk
5. Preschool teacher

Tag: Anyone who wants to

What it's all about

~My sister had surgery yesterday for a brain tumor. That's not my fault.

~Every single time something happens in my family the fact that we are largely estranged and don't communicate well becomes an issue; that, it seems, is my fault.

~If you've read here long, you may recall that my relationship with my mother and my sister is, well, difficult. There is plenty of fault to be had on all sides. I'll take my share. I have chosen in recent years not to be very involved with them. But it goes both (all) ways. And it's not helpful to have it thrown up at me how awful I am. Just. Doesn't. Help.

~To make it all more complicated, it was Elder Son who was taking me to task about it this time. I've never posted much about Elder Son--for different reasons, we have a complicated relationship, too, and he has a different relationship with my mother and siblings than I do. But him going off on me at 11 pm after a long and hard week--um....not helpful either.

~The good news is that my sister came through the surgery fine. I don't know what the prognosis is, nor what kind of tumor it was--still waiting to hear that.

~I'm really tired of being the Evil Awful Person in the family. It's not a role I sought, nor one I enjoy. And I'm not sure that it's one I can get rid of easily--especially when everyone else just thinks that it is all.my.fault.

~Cosmic sigh.

It's all my fault

~Once again there is angst in my extended family, and once again I'm getting bitched out because I am the evil awful person and it's all my fault.

~I'm tired of it.

~That's all.

Race, gender, class--and other naive political musin

~Listening to the commentary about this week's primary in WV--low income people with no college degree are more like to vote for HRC. Hmm...can we keep this straight? Young? Obama. Old? Clinton. Black? Obama. White? Clinton. Female? Clinton? College degree? Obama. Not? Clinton. Blue collar? Clinton. White collar? Obama. If it were really that simple....what happens when you are, for example, an older (Clinton), black (Obama), female (Clinton), professional (Obama)? Which category most influences one's vote? Is gender more salient that race? Does either trump class?

~I just don't follow the thinking of the Clinton supporters who claim that, if Obama gets the nomination , they'll switch their votes to McCain. Huh? I've heard Obama supporters say that they just won't vote at all rather than vote for Clinton, a position that I don't especially agree with but at least (sort of) understand. But to switch your vote to someone who is diametrically opposed to what your original candidate stood for? That just makes no sense to me.

~Meanwhile this article from the NYTimes magazine looks at McCain's views on the war in Iraq in light of his experiences in Vietnam. One friend of McCain's came to the conclusion that I was coming to in reading this piece--McCain is to some extent refighting the Vietnam war--like GWB finishing his daddy's war? Scary.

Yummy dinner for a change

~Once upon a time I was a good cook. When the kids were little I was the master of 101-ways-to-use-ground-beef-and-chicken-breasts. And we had lots of salad and veggies, too. But over the years as the number of people at home dwindled, so did my desire to cook. After NSLS went off to college and it was just the Kid and me, it really went downhill, and at seminary because we could eat at the refectory during the week, and eat (relatively) cheaply out on the weekends, I rarely cooked.

~Here we sorely lack the diversity of eating places we had in the city. But I have no real desire to cook. I hate planning meals. I'm uninspired. I don't feel like spending a lot of time in the kitchen after work. So we eat a lot of salads. Frozen pizza (and I've found some really good frozen pizza actually). Pasta. A big pot of soup from time to time. And out--though it's not nearly as much fun.

~I hate shopping as much (or more than) I do cooking. So I put it off as long as possible. But this afternoon, I had to shop. I was picking out a chunk of Parmesan when I saw the container of fresh mozzarella in olive oil with artichokes and sundried tomatoes--yum! So I circled around and picked up some fresh basil and some of the tomatoes that come on the vine, and some crusty bread--still warm. And I brought it all home and we had panninis for dinner. And they were sooooo good.

Bambi

~Seen briefly in my yard this afternoon.

Crackberry

~My mother's day present to myself, I guess.

~I've been considering one of these for while, but was thinking about the Pearl instead of the Curve--but the fully qwerty keyboard is great, and so is the bigger screen.

~Nothing like something else to feed my internet addiction!

Sticker shock

~Gas is up to $3.81 /gallon here now. It's gone up .20/gallon in the last three days. I am very grateful I drive a small car and I don't have to drive much.

When one's identity is a "disorder"...

~I have NPR on my car radio all the time, but I have to confess that I am half listening most of the time. But Wednesday afternoon as I was coming back from a service at a retirement home, thinking about all sorts of things, something about the story being broadcast caught my attention--a mom, talking about her son's fascination with all things girly, and his desire to have a dress. When she finally took him to Tarjay to pick out a dress, she says, she had never seen him so happy.

~The story shifted then to talk about another family with a son who also was fascinated with girl things. This family, however, on the advice of their therapist, no longer allowed their son any contact with "girl things"--no Barbies, no little ponies, no stuffed animals, nothing pink, not even drawing pictures of girls. He was adjusting, his mother said, but he was quieter, more subdued than before.

~You can read or listen to this piece on gender identity here. And the second installment is here. It was both fascinating and troubling. I've never liked the label "gender identity disorder" with its implications that preferring something outside the norm (a boy wanting to play with Barbies for example) is something that needs to be labeled, something pathological even. Of course the children featured in this piece wanted more than to play with "girl toys"--they wanted to dress like girls and play with girls, to BE girls.

~The therapists featured had wildly divergent opinions about these children and others like then. One therapist refuses to use the term "gender identity disorder" and believes that children should be supported in their efforts to determine their own identity. The other believes that children should be trained to accept who they REALLY are (i.e., the biological gender they were born with--penis=male and no questions allowed). This therapist advocates what feels to me like fairly punitive therapy--strict restrictions on who and what the child can play with, teaching boys to be more "manly"and so forth. What made me really sad was the way the child undergoing this therapy was portrayed--he's adjusting, he draws boys now and says to his mom that he has to stay away from pink--but at what cost? Even his mother who believes she is doing the right thing sees her child as subdued and conflicted. Does being "well adjusted" mean denying some part of yourself to fit into other people's norms? I don't think I've ever come across a case study that raise this issue more poignantly for me.

~Of course there are all sorts of physical issues to address if one accepts the notion that a child can consider him or herself transgendered, and the second installment of this piece addresses this (including a pretty controversial therapy that delays puberty). But beyond those concerns and beyond all the issues this pieces raises about our conceptions of "normal" (which other people have written about far better than I can elsewhere in the blogosphere) are the underlying assumptions being made about gender--the very notions that only one gender is "allowed" to like certain categories of things, that little boys (toddlers even) need to be "manly." I'm old enough to have grown up when these ideas were mainstream, but naively perhaps I'd thought that we'd moved on a bit.

~Really, what does it mean to be born male or female? When I was teaching I emphasized how much gender was a social construct, and talked about the many ways parents "gender" their children even before they are born. The children in this piece had very strong notions at a very young age (1-2 years) that the gender labels placed on them didn't fit. If our gender categories were more fluid would these children have felt more comfortable in their bodies? More importantly perhaps would their parents have felt more comfortable with their children's choices?

Tomorrow is another day...

~to quote Scarlett O'Hara, and today was a better day, in part at least because I just didn't think or worry about those things that were wearing me down yesterday. And I came home early and read a novel and watched the birds.

~My backyard was just FULL of birds this afternoon--grackles and cardinals and redwing blackbirds and chickadees and goldfinches and woodpeckers and ORIOLES. It didn't take them long to find the oranges and grape jelly.



~The orioles are a little skittish about the window feeder when I am sitting at the table. If I move (like to pick up my camera) they take off. But I'm hoping they will get used to it. And I did manage to get a couple of pictures.




~And I have to say, I think spring is FINALLY here. It's been warmer, things are green, lots of stuff blooming.

Can I whine for a minute...please?

~I feel completely worn down by my job today.

~I just wrote a long post describing why, and then deleted it. Sigh. I'll simply say it's not the work, per se.

~Tomorrow will be better, won't it?

Uninspired

~You may have noticed that I've been attempting a post every day. I didn't sign on for NaBloPoYear or whatever; I just decided that it was a good discipline to write something every day--anything. But I'm finding it harder and harder to have something to say. Hence the string of memes below. But I'm even struggling to find a good meme these days. And I don't have any cute little kids or dogs to write about.

~It's not entirely true that I have nothing to say. There are a few things I've been thinking about lately, but they are mostly unbloggable. And possibly unspeakable for that matter. Most of them have to do with work. But not all of them.

~I thought I might say something about today's primaries, but really, what's to say? She won one, he won one. The beat goes on...I really want to believe that Obama will win the White House, but I'm worried. And I just can't imagine four (or 8!) years of McCain. Did I really hear him say on NPR this morning that Alito was his idea of a great justice? Or was that a nightmare?

Ready for the orioles

~May 1 is the earliest date orioles are expected to be back in this area. But because it's been so cold and rainy I decided not to put the oriole feeder out -- until this afternoon when the sun finally came out. I went out to the garage and rummaged around to find the feeder, but when I did it looked just awful--the wood has turned all black; I'm not sure if it's mildewed or rotten or what. And it may not matter to the birds, but it looks awful.

~And the squirrels have become quite proficient at scaling the new (since last summer) feeder pole, and the oriole feeder is no way squirrel proof. So it's time to find a new one.


~Meanwhile, I put some orange slices in the suet feeder and hung a jelly cup on the window. I have no idea if the orioles will eat that close to the window or not, but I'll be waiting, camera at the ready if they do!



~view from inside

One word meme

Answer in one word only:

Where is your mobile phone?
~pocket

Your hair:
~silver

Your mother:
~old

Your father:
~RIP

What is your favourite gadget?
~camera

What did you dream last night?
~forgotten

What do you prefer to drink?
~tea

Dream car?
~52MG

What room are you currently in?
~kitchen

Your ex?
~jerk

Your biggest fear?
~flying

What do you want to be in 10 years?
~healthy

Who did you spend last night with?
~self

What are you not?
~athletic

The last thing you did?
~read

What are you wearing?
~jammies

Favorite book?
~many

The last thing you ate?
~grits

Your life?
~good

Your mood?
~eh

Your best friends?
~faraway

What are you thinking about right now?
~sleep

Your car?
~cute

What are you doing right now?
~blogging

Marital status?
~not

What is on your TV right now?
~nothing

When did you last laugh?
~afternoon

When did you last cry?
~yesterday

School?
~done

Meme of the mundane

This is an old meme, but I never was a trend setter :)

Favorite laundry detergent:

~I've been using Seventh Generation for a few years now, and like it as well as any--plus it's eco-friendly.

Favorite item used for an unintended purpose:

~I love this question, but I can't think of a single thing ...

Favorite way to buy music:

~I guess I am out of sync with the rest of the blogosphere...I don't buy much music. Occasionally I will get the impulse to buy a CD, but I guess now that I have an iPod, I should just use iTunes.

How clean is your car?

~Eh, not very clean at all. The inside is worse than the outside--it collects junk no matter how I try not to let it happen.

How clean is your apartment/house/room?

~Really, it's pretty clean. That's because a) I have a cleaning fairygodmother who comes every two weeks (the best present I ever gave myself) and b) in preparation for last night's gathering I stashed what little clutter there was out of site. So it looks really nice....well, I wouldn't go up and look in the Kid's room, but the rest of it does.

How clean is your office?

~Well, it's better than it was a few weeks ago. You can see the top of the desk in spots and the books are all reshelved. But it's not immaculate. And probably never will be.

Favorite weekly free time:

~Mondays. MOST of the time I can avoid any work related activities on Mondays, and it feels like a real day off.

Is there a word, phrase, or gesture that is identifiably yours?

~Wicked, y'all
~A true testament to my southern roots and New England allegiance

Most effective medicine for one (or more) of your ailments:

~I don't take much medicine but this winter I have become a true believer in AirBorne--I don't care what the clinical trials say, this stuff works or else it has a great placebo effect.

A favorite thing you try to sell/push/encourage your friends to try:

~I am reluctant to do this, for a variety of reasons. My mother used to get really pissed at me when I tried to share my enthusiasm about something with her--I have one really bad memory about this. Most of the time I tend to try not to push things.

Favorite new (or new-to-you) thing:

~My newest thing is my 50mm/f1.4 lens and I've been having lots of fun experimenting with it.

Tag! You're it.

The party's over...

~and actually it went quite well. We had a "newcomers' reception at my house tonight and about 20 people came-only about a quarter of them actually new, but that's okay. Because I live in the rectory, people are often curious about my house, and it is a kind of interesting house--not nearly as old as many houses around here, but with its own quirks. So people mingled, drank wine, ate veggies and dip and admired the house.

~I love people but the thought of inviting twenty or so people to my house was intimidating--it's the flaming introvert in me I guess. But someone else did all the organizing, and all I had to do was make sure the house was clean and make some spinach dip and veggies.

~I keep my house much cleaner and less cluttered than I ever have before in my life, but piles of papers--bills, receipts and the like--manage to pile up, along with all those random bits of stuff you don't want to throw away but don't know what to do with either. I wanted to get those thigng out of sight so I didn't something I've trying to avoid doing the whole time I've lived here--stuffed them all into an empty drawer and cupboard. If I don't make myself get it all back out and go through it soon, I know I will regret it when it's time to move and I find all sorts of junk to deal with. Eh.

~My only complaint is that my back is wicked stiff....it hasn't' been this way for a long while, and it seems like just all of a sudden it stiffened up. No fun.

~And now I'm going to watch last night's Grey's Anatomy on-line, and then go to bed, because I have an 8:00 am meeting tomorrow-why does anyone think 8:00 am on Saturday is a good time for a meeting??

Age and generalizations

~I heard a statistic on NPR this morning indicating that Obama is the favorite among voters under 45 and Clinton is the favorite among those over 45. I'm sure there is data that backs that up (though I wouldn't mind seeing the actual numbers), but it really doesn't jive with my experience. Among the people I know preference doesn't really break down by age --or gender.

~I guess it is important for the candidates to know where their support lies--but I get really tired of hearing these generalizations. Wouldn't it be more interesting to hear how things break down over the issues--like the war and health care and the economy?

~I think that I may be oversensitive to age generalizations because they RARELY describe me, and I feel like I'm being (inaccurately) pigeon-holed. As I've written here before, I haven't done things in the same order as the norm. And I've always had friends both older and younger than myself. In seminary, in fact, I had far more in common with the women in the late 20s and 30s than I did with the women who were my age.

~I get really impatient, too, with being lumped as a baby boomer (the same would be true if I were gen x or gen y or millennial). I just don't find the labels all that useful; in fact I think they are the basis for some miscommunication when people make too many assumptions based on them.

~Ageism abounds, too. It doesn't get as much attention as some of the other -isms, but it's real and it works against both younger and older people--again based on assumptions about what a person can or can't do, will or won't do, should or shouldn't do at a given age, assumptions that may not be in sync with any particular individual's reality.

~I don't know if there is actually a point to this rant (and it probably could be better written, but I'm tired). Cognitive psychology tells us that we are predisposed (maybe even hardwired) to put things into categories to make the world understandable, and age is a salient category (as is gender). I just don't think it's all that useful.

Random bits of my week so far

~It's been a busy one. So far. And there is more to come.

~I don't usually have to buy gas very often...I walk to work and don't go that many places. But with last week's road trip I had to fill up the car three times in a week, and each time was a new record for what it cost. I'm lucky that I have a small car that gets decent gas mileage (could be better but it could be worse, too). For the first time, I'm thinking about what it costs just to go someplace. I wish this would get people more interested in mass transportation, but so far I'm not hearing that anywhere.

~And the price of food, too--wow. Again, I'm lucky, but it will make a difference as time goes by. And what about folks who were already just making ends meet? And the prospect of food shortages around the world? It's really sobering.

~Things are finally getting green around here...I can see a big difference every day. But we have a freeze warning for tonight...I don't expect it to be REALLY warm for another few weeks.

~Tomorrow I can officially put up my oriole feeders. May 1 is the earliest day that orioles are expected to be back in this area, although I don't think I've seen them that early. But I will stock up on grape jelly and oranges. I love the orioles.

~Friday night we're having a church function at my house. I'm not in a panic yet, but give me time--I haven't 'entertained' in years. The good news is that my cleaning fairygodmother was here this week, and that other people are helping with food etc. The bad news is that there is a big pile of the Kid's school stuff in the dining room that must.be.dealt.with and time is getting short. And I forgot to take the tablecloth to the laundry to be pressed. Updates sure to follow.

It's raining, it's pouring...

...The old man is snoring.
Went to bed and bumped his head,
and didn't get up in the morning.

Yes, it is raining...pouring in fact. And this nursery rhyme popped into my head when I woke up and heard the torrential rainfall.

I loved reading nursery rhymes to my kids, and I've already bought Baby J some Mother Goose books. I especially like the ones with all the verses. But some of the words are not the best, although that never seemed to bother my kids.

Just a random thought on this rainy rainy morning...

Dr. Foster went to Gloucester in a shower of rain.
He stepped in a puddle
Right up to his middle
And never went there again.

Wrong side of the bed

~I think I must've gotten up on the wrong side of the bed today, to use one of my mother's old expressions. For no discernible reason I was grumpy. Nothing seemed right. I had to work on my day off (although I don't think that's what made me grumpy), it was cold and rainy and I just couldn't think of any reason to be cheerful.

I hate getting in moods like that, because when the day starts that way it colors everything that happens. Fortunately what I had to do at work was edit the newsletter and that didn't require me to interact with anyone. So I spent the day in solitary fashion, just me and the computer.

Maybe I was just tired. Tonight after dinner I sat down to do some reading for tomorrow, and fell asleep, waking up almost three hours later. So now here it is close to midnight, I've had a nap, but my work isn't done. But I'm going to bed any way...tomorrow is an early day, and staying up any later won't make it better.

It still suprises me what some people will believe

~The church staff doesn't socialize too often, but tonight we gathered for dinner at one staffer's home. It's an unusual group in some ways so at times coming up with topics for conversation seemed hard. And of course, politics eventually came up--starting with a rant about Obama "who won't say the pledge of allegiance!!" I didn't say too much because it was pretty clear that arguing the point was not going to make any difference. The comment was made by a spouse whom I don't know that well; he seems like a nice enough guy but I wouldn't be surprised if he were a bit on the conservative side. But really--to believe the loaded emails that are circulated about Obama--or any of the candidates for that matter...isn't that a bit naive? Or just plain dumb?

~But you know what? Not saying the pledge of allegiance or putting hand over heart during the national anthem wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, even if it were true (and it's NOT so don't be citing me as support for that cockamamie idea!).

~I've also heard a number of people say that they won't vote for HRC if she's nominated, no matter what. While I don't support her, she's still less scary to me than McCain.

~It's going to be an interesting year...

Not really a surprise

You Should Live in a Big City

You don't want anything in particular out of life... you want it all. You crave new and exciting experiences. And you get bored fairly easily. Only very big cities can keep you entertained and stimulated.

Where Should You Live?

Back home again

~We're home again after a nice if short visit to Vermont. It was wonderful to spend time with Baby J, NSLS, Mr. LS and Woman Warrior. We ate good food, held the baby, an enjoyed the beautiful weather. I have to work this weekend though, and so we're back in time for sermon prep.

~Of course I took lots of pictures. It's hard to take bad pictures of such a cute baby! This one was taken this morning. I did actually take pix of other things, too, while we were out and about, although perhaps not as many as I would have liked.

Mama and baby

Lazy day, sort of

~Today NSLS, Baby J and I went shopping. The city has a wonderful downtown area where it's fun to walk around even if you 're not interested in buying anything, and it was another really nice day. Baby J was very happy being strolled around, and slept much of the time--she was also duly admired by passersby. Meanwhile the Kid and Woman Warrior worked on emptying the storage space where WW stored her belongings for the three years she was in Korea. Opening up the boxes was a little like Christmas--it's funny how you can forget what you have.

~The Kid hasn't much experience with babies so he's a little nervous about holding Baby J. She seems to like him though :)

In unison

~Baby J and Aunt Sister

~The Kid has spring break this week, so this morning we headed north for a few days in Vermont. It's like summer here! And the sweet baby is a month old tomorrow.

~More pictures are sure to follow.

More signs of spring

~Grackles are not among my favorite birds; they hog the feeder and don't play well with others. But look at the iridescent colors!

~I have more redwings around than I every have before. In Vermont they were the surest sign of spring.

~The goldfinches have turned gold again...they turn a muddy brown for winter.

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind...

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

then I'm in trouble ... or in very good company :)

From the church garden today

McCain: Out of Touch

We cannot let this man be elected.

I heart punctuation

As seen at Dani's place...

You Are a Comma

You are open minded and extremely optimistic. You enjoy almost all facets of life. You can find the good in almost anything. You keep yourself busy with tons of friends, activities, and interests. You find it hard to turn down an opportunity, even if you are pressed for time. Your friends find you fascinating, charming, and easy to talk to. (But with so many competing interests, you friends do feel like you hardly have time for them.) You excel in: Inspiring people You get along best with: The Question Mark

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

Outrageous

~I'm listening to NPR as I get dressed this morning, and they are describing McCain's ideas about health care, and I have one word: outrageous. We should get tax credits to buy our own insurance rather than get it through our employers. We shouldn't be concerned about those who have no health insurance now. No carrier should be required to cover preexisting conditions. We should pay more for our prescriptions--because most of us can afford them. WTF?

~This man frightens me more and more.

Still away

~Long day involving interesting presentation, sunny skies, ice cream, laughter, gathering for all the women clergy in our (woman) bishop's suite, and bishops' banquet.

~Still no pictures.

Away

~I'm away at clergy conference for the next day and a half. This is the annual gathering for all the clergy in the diocese. It's supposed to be a time to get away, spend time with colleagues and relax, and it's held at a lovely beach resort. From my perspective, there's a little too much programming for me to consider it to really be relaxing, but it is a lovely place to spend a couple of days.

~I'm enjoying seeing some of my seminary friends and a few people I've met since I came to this diocese, but I still feel a bit like an outsider. I'm not sure why that is so. Maybe it's just my introversion and discomfort with having to mingle in large groups of people I don't know. But there is a part of me that says it not just me and that this diocese is a hard one to break into if you're not from here.

~It's not as warm as I'd like given where we are, but it's bright and sunny, and I hope to get out and take some beach pictures during free time.

Haiku Monday

look uneasily
on the glaring contrast of
poverty and wealth

in my father's
home town the prayer book is
part of my weekend

my weather pixie says
it's sunny outside she
lies it is not just

i progressed to
thinking i could blog it all
myself i've found lot

with harry potter
grab your brooms and get ready
for the next big thing

in this war is ours
the initiative to
stop it must be ours

From the haiku generator found here
as seen here and here

Found money~Give it 4 good

~Within the next month or so, many of us will receive our so-called "economic stimulus" checks--which for most of us amounts to "found money." Now, I've already spent this money 100 times over in my head, but I'm not sure I want to buy into Bush's recovery plan so completely (no pun intended). I'm not sure that encouraging MORE spending is really good for what ails us.

~So I've decided to donate part of my check to the Give It 4 Good campaign. Click on the button in the sidebar to learn more about it. The idea is to give some or all of this "found money" to an organization of your choice that is working on the Millennium Development Goals. The project is sponsored by Episcopalians for Global Reconciliation-- but you don't need to be an Episcopalian or even a Christian to participate--many of us share the desire to end extreme poverty and illness in the world regardless of our faith (or the lack thereof). Think about it.

Prescient

One of my favorite comics is "For better or for worse" by Lyn Johnston. There are many parallels between that family and my own. Recently the strip has been drawing on the archives; the comic for today must be about 25-30 years old, but it could be right now. (Click to embiggen)

A Friday 5 on a topic I know a lot about...

...moving.

1. How many times have you moved? When was the last time?

~I've moved 21 times if I counted correctly. My last move was July 2005 when I moved here from seminary. I've lived in 10 different states and 2 countries. I've lived in a place for as little as a few months, and never spent longer than 8 years in any one place.

2. What do you love and hate about moving?

~Hate--packing. Packing, packing, packing. And the leaving of good friends and favorite places.

~Love--the promise of the Next Big Thing. Almost every time I've moved it has been to take up something new-grad school, a new job, and seminary stand out, but there are others. The adventure of a new place, new experiences.

3. Do you do it yourself or hire movers?

~I've mostly done it all myself. I've packed up everything in the house on my own and moved most of it by myself more than once. My last two moves I hired movers but I still packed everything. I'm looking forward to possibly having the movers do the packing next time.

4. Advice for surviving and thriving during a move?

~I've learned lots of tricks for packing--the importance of getting rid of all those things that have accumulated but aren't really used, carefully labeling the boxes, packing bed linens and towels with breakable things, making sure you know where the things you'll need right away are. Beyond that it helps to treat the move as an adventure. Anticipate where you're going, learn more about it

~I need to get settled quickly when I arrive in a new place. I want everything unpacked asap. I need to do that before I can go out and explore or start work or school. That doesn't work for everyone though. I know people who can live with boxes for months and who need to do others more than they need to unpack.

5. Are you in the middle of any inner moves, if not outer ones?

~I'm in the process of discerning where I'm called to be next...hoping to be ready to move on in a year or so. And I'm working on learning to hold onto things lightly...a constant process for me, but definitely an interior movement.

A taste of spring and other things

~Today was the first day that it really felt like spring--sunny and pleasantly warm. It was such a nice surprise to walk out of the office this afternoon and feel air that felt almost balmy. I know it won't last--tomorrow is forecast to be cold and rainy again--but I'm grateful for this little taste of spring.

~The daffy picture is one of a few I took this afternoon shooting RAW format for the first time. There's another one at my 365 blog. If nothing else it makes me realize how very much I still need to learn both about taking pictures and about using photoshop. I'm waffling about signing up for the next photography class. It sounds good on paper--but so did the one I'm in now and it has continued to be a disappointment. Right now I'm leaning towards putting the money towards the new lens I've been considering (and thanks for the feedback about that) and just continuing to teach myself. I've found lots of good tips and explanations on the web. The one thing I don't get is feedback, which the next class promises. But I'd bet that class will be offered again later if I want to take it.

~I think I got the quiet week at work that I wished for last week. There were NO meetings. I can't remember the last time that I didn't have multiple meetings in a week. I still met with two small groups but that is generally rewarding enough that it doesn't really feel like work. I got some things done, but I didn't worry about being terribly productive. I'll be away part of each of the next two weeks, and likely I should've been working ahead to compensate for that --I may regret that I didn't later but right this minute I don't.

~Today I got a hair cut and tomorrow I'm getting my eyes checked so I can get new glasses. Woohoo. Yes, I do get excited about getting new glasses. Maybe I'll even post an eye picture when I get them.

Photography questions

~I notice that many of you photobloggers are using a 50mm lens and taking great shots. What made you choose this lens and what do you like about it? (I currently have a 24-85 mm f/3.5 and a 70-300mm f/4). I'm looking at a 50mm f/1.4 at B and H right now; everything that I've read about this lens indicates that it's good in low light and for portraits, both of which appeal to me.

~I need to buy a tripod. My photography instructor showed us his, but didn't really tell us what the essential things to look for were. Do I need to spend $$$ to get a decent one? What should I be looking for--I mean I know I want stability, and it should be light but sturdy. What else?

~Thanks in advance!

News flash

~The sun is shining!

My weather pixie lies

~Right this minute my weather pixies says it's sunny outside. She lies. It is grey, grey, grey again. It has been unremittingly grey and damp and cold for the last....I don't really know how many days; the whole winter has been pretty much like this.

~I don't mind cold--even bitter cold--and I like snow. But this never ending cold grey dampness and rain are wearing me down. Could we please have spring?

New look

~So I did it...about time. Whadaya think?

~I would like to change the color of the little orange box with the blog description but I can't find anyway to do it. Other than that and learning how to resize pix for the header, it was easy.

ETA: Thanks to a tip from Eliza, I did it! Woohoo! Okay, so maybe I am irrationally proud of this....

Saturday night

~I lost my watch last night. I knew the clasp was loose--it had almost fallen off a few times--but I couldn't seem to fix it. I really liked that watch. We were doing errands last night and we were at 6-7 different places. I went back to some of them tonight but to no avail. It wasn't an expensive watch but I'd had it for a while and it suited me.

~So I went to buy a new watch tonight because I am really used to wearing one all the time. And it struck me again that the place where I live is a terrible place to shop. Really. We have one real department store in the mall and it's not all that great. Gah. I bought a watch but I may end up taking it back and ordering one online.

~I spent a little while tonight updating the church blog--it's been largely ignored, but a group is on a mission trip building houses in LA and decided they would like to post stories--or rather have me do it. Working on that blog made me want to update my template here. The difference is that the church one didn't have a lot of things in the sidebar to loose and this one does. But if tomorrow afternoon is rainy as it promised to be (again) I may just take the time to do it. I'm still on the old blogger template here.

~I've had lots of unbloggable stuff swirling in my head today--I wish I could blog it all, but it's work related and I really can't.

~And now I'm going to bed because I have early church tomorrow.