In the closet

~Prompted in part by the aforementioned rummage sale, along with the realization that some time in the next year or so I'll be moving to a new place, I've been thinking about getting rid of things. I'm bit of a pack rat, but what I hold onto generally has some sentimental value or memory attached (which means it's all the more difficult to get rid of). But I've also learned the hard way that it's not good to let too much accumulate, and in this big house, it's very easy to let things accumulate.

~So this morning I started going through my closets, pulling out stuff I don't often wear. I was actually glad to get rid of some things I bought when I graduated from seminary, but never really liked. Then, in the very back of the closet, I found a stash of dresses that I had completely forgotten about--things I used to wear when I was teaching. And haven't worn since I started seminary in 2002. Ought to be easy to get rid of, right? But for some reason, I felt an unexpected attachment to those dresses. I know I won't wear them anymore--they still fit, but they are really out of style--but I found myself wavering about whether to hold onto them.

~Good sense did prevail, and most of them are already down at the rummage sale. One I washed because I really might wear it Two others are still hanging there but I think I will get rid of them tomorrow. But as I took them off the hangers and folded them, I had to ask myself, why the attachment? The dresses were nothing special--casual because that's how profs at my school dressed, and comfortable and warm because it was Vermont--and I've never once thought to wear one since I started working here. On reflection, though, I think perhaps I feel attached to those dresses because they are one of the last links to my life as a professor, a life I relished even though I gave it up after less than 10 years. When I started my job in Vermont, I thought that I would be there for the rest of my career, assuming I got tenure. I liked the college and I loved the area--something about living there just suited me. But by the time I got tenure, I already knew that my heart was being called elsewhere. Funny how these things work out.

~I loved teaching, but I don't really miss being a professor. I loved being on a college campus and I think I'd enjoy living in a college town, but I love working in a church, too. I think I made the right choices. I liked those dresses, but they are gone now, on to their next owner I hope, useful to someone, as I hope to be in this path I'm on now.