My last year of grad school was a crazy time--I was trying to collect data and write a dissertation, teach, and look for a job. Keeping all those balls up in the air wasn't easy--there was a month in the spring where I flew off for three interviews and a conference in the midst of data collection, and returned from the last trip to find that the Kid, then 2, had chicken pox during the week I had to give finals. Somehow I got through it all, defending my dissertation and moving north just a week before my teaching position started.
Memories of those months have come flooding back lately as I prepare for the next big things in my life. As I've mentioned before, my boss leaves for sabbatical in a little under two months, and I will be taking over extra responsibilities during the almost four months of his absence. At the same time, I am looking for my next position because the expectation is that I will move on before the end of the year. And the Kid will be graduating from high school in June and preparing to go on to college in the fall.
The timing is awkward, and it's an awkwardness not of my making. In the grand scheme of things, it would've been better to wait a bit longer before jumping into the search waters so that I wouldn't be dealing with search committees, interview trips, and the like while the boss is away. But it has become abundantly clear to me that the sooner I leave after his return, the happier he will be, and a looming and rather large budget deficit for 2009 is exacerbating that. So I am full into search mode and hoping for the best.
Add to the mix that the Kid is graduating in June. I've long promised him that I wouldn't move before he graduated (and I won't) but it will be hard for him if I pick up and go right after graduation--he really wants to be here to work for the whole summer, but I can't guarantee that. On the other hand, if I haven't found a new place by late fall, I'll be freaking out because come December 31 my job here is done no matter what.
So I'm betwixt and between right now. I can't really blog all the details, but there are a lot of balls up in the air, and I have a lot of mixed feelings. I'm looking forward to parts of this process and dreading other parts. I have a fair amount of annoyance with my boss for making this as difficult as it is--there are several places where different choices could've been made that would have made life easier. And my congregation has a fair amount of anxiety--about the rector's sabbatical, my impending move, and the budget crisis. It all makes for interesting times.
5 comments:
I'm feeling rather betwixt and between myself right now, so I can really relate to this post.
Wishing for peaceful decision-making for both of us, and outcomes that give us what we need.
Even though we ought to trust that the right thing will come along if we are authentic in the process, it's hard not to feel a little anxiety, isn't it?
It does sound like a hectic, crazy time.
On the bright side (and not in any way to minimize your completely understandable anxiety): At least all of this is happening as the Kid is preparing to graduate and not, say, last year. And, although things will be more hectic without your boss around, won't they also be in many ways easier without his presence?
WN--yes things will be much easier in some ways, and the wardens and I are looking forward to that!
It's so hard to be looking for new positions, so much change and uncertainty. Hang in there!
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